should I feed her at 10.30pm?

[CrazyOVERbaby]

Hello

I have a 7wk old, who is in a really good daytime routine (thanks Gina)and who goes to bed at approx. 6.45pm after her bedtime feed at 6.30ish. When I wake her up for her 'dreamfeed' at 10.30, she doesn;t seem that interested, only takes a few ounces and then dozes back off.

In 'Sleep, the easy way to peaceful nights' they say that this dream feed at 10.30pm is pointless, as it just disturbs the baby's natural sleep/feed cycle, and puts their digestion out of synch. They say that unless they wake for a feed on a night, leave them, and chances are, they'll go to the same time in the night as they normally wold (mine wakes at approx 4am for a feed).

This seems like a looooooong time for a 7wk old to go, so I'm reluctant to try it in case she wakes at 1am or something (meaning that I'll really be doing 2 night feeds instead of one in the long run). But then again, she does seem a bit peed off that I'm waking her at 10.30?

Anyone else have any experiences?? Thanks guys!

Ummm...I've always adopted the 'feed when my baby's hungry' approach - certainly at such a young age. It's great you've got the days sorted, but it sounds like she isn't hungry at 10.30, so I'd just leave her. She'll wake when she's hungry - if that's twice in the night then so be it - she is only 7 weeks and will go longer between feeds as she gets older and more settled.

It's all trial and error, every baby is different. If she is having good feeds during the day, there is no reason why she couldn't go that stretch at night. Give it a go for a couple of nights and see how it goes.

Thanks guys, I'm in a quandry. She feeds four hourly on the nose during the day, and takes a gd amount. I'm guessing that if she goes further into the night, she'll just take a bigger feed than the 10pm one. DD1 was a gina baby, so I'm happy with the idea of the 10.30pm feed. But I'm curious! Plus I agree with you detox - babies are not machines, they tend to tell you if they are not happy about something. I'll give it a go and will let you know!

I would continue trying the 10.30pm feed.

I felt the same at 6 weeks (felt the feed was small and pointless) and similarly he went from the dream feed to around 3am. Sometimes he woke twice at 2am and 5am.

But at 8 weeks he suddenly started sleeping all night - from dream feed. Now 13 weeks and he takes a good feed then (BF so don't know how much) and still sleeping all night.

Why not try and see what happens if you don't give it?

Dd1 was a gina baby, dd2 was kind of, but very much did her own thing (not that dd1 didn't, just that her thing was the gina thing!). Dd2 was always a struggle to feed at 10.30, we tried moving it later an hour, keeping her up longer, doing a split feed - the later/split feed thing worked a bit better so you could try that. Give it a good few days to see what effect it might have though.

I eventually gave up at around 6 months (she didn't go through the night until nearer 1 year) and I so wish I'd given up earlier, as I was going to bed at 8 and setting an alarm to wake us both up - crazy! You need to do what fits in with you best. My mum said she never did a late feed with us, and so was stuck with a night feed until a good 9 or 10 months, so it depends what suits you really.

Chickened out girls, decided to just give her at 10.30pm feed last night. Might try tonight if I'm feeling a bit braver!!

Also, just out of interest, did your babies just suddenly drop the middle of the night feed, or gradually edge it back?

Sorry to put spanners in works - but PLEASE don;t expect this routine to last - babies are like the British weather - subject to change at a moment's notice!

And I suspect that the 4 hourly feeds will go out of the window once a growth spurt kicks in. I don't want to be a gloom merchant - but I would hate you to be disappointed and/or feel you've failed when/if it all changes next week!

Gradually got later and later in the night, until it's early morning (and then you have an interesting time trying to persuade them not to start the day at 5.30 in some cases!).

I think you need to spend less time reading the books and more time reading your baby. If she doesn't want the 10:30 feed, don't give it. If she wants two night feeds, so what? At that age it's entirely normal.

I wouldn't wake her. FWIW I had been dreamfeeding dd2 and she wasn't interested but still waking at 3am. So, as I did with dd1 I left her to see when she would wake from going to bed (6.30pm). It was 3am. This was when she was 5 weeks. Did that for a couple of weeks and then (when I knew she could go a long stretch without food) went back to picking her up and feeding at 10.30 (Do not wake her up though). Since then she has gone 10.30m - 7.30m consistently. I no longer dreamfeed her as gently reduced the amount til she was going through on 2oz then just dropped it. I have to wake her every morning at 7.30! She is 11 weeks btw. Used Gina with dd1 but never did the wide awake at 10ish bit. Am complete control freak when it comes to sleep and do believe you can teach babies (however small) the difference between night and day and how to sleep well.I think you'll find you lo just sleeps til 4ish as that seems to be her natural wake up point. Good luck

Thanks Alex W, thats really useful. I'm gona keep up with the dream feed for a bit, as I thinks it's growth spurt time - so all of a sudden over the last few days, she's eating like a monster during the day, and is suddenly interested in the 10.30pm feed. However, I think I'll knock it on the head when she looses interest again.

I also totally believe that you can sleep train small babies without being a monster mam. I'm too like Maggie Thatcher when it comes to sleep , and have worked really hard with my two to help them become good sleepers. I don't think all babies come out able to sleep well, they kind of need teaching! But one thing is sure, all babies need to sleep and are much better for it when they do!

Lukewarm cuppa, thanks for that advice too, like I say, can;t recall what dd1 did!!

Seeker, don't worry about being a gloom merchant, I'm sure you're totally right about growth spurt! It's a bugger when it happens, but you get things back on track after a few days if you keep things consistent. Interestingly, in my case it seems that the 10.30pm feed is going to be the one that she increases in a growth spurt, so I'm gona persevere with it.

And Jamjabella, you've probably got a point, and must be really lucky to be able to read your baby/children. But I'm not so lucky, and neither are plenty of other mums, who find 'the books' help them gain a bit of structure and predictability, which some Mums need - me included! I just find, that when you have a baby, you sometimes can't see the wood for the trees, and a book can sometimes see through all the crying and the sick and the poo, and gain a bit of perspective and a few ideas to try. Some work, some don't, but what's the worst that can happen if they don't? Baby will refuse a feed/not sleep whatever and you can try something else. It's all a learning curve after all.

Thaks to all for advice, we'll give it all a go!!

I am not lucky, it took me months to figure my daughter out.

But then, I think Gina Ford is a hack and training is for animals not babies, so what do I know...

jamjabella, it's not 'training' as such, more just trying to find a pattern of feeds/sleeps that makes your baby as happy as possible (and consequently you too!). I think that's what most mums do isn't it, whether you get the ideas from gina, the baby whisperer, or just make it up as you muddle along.

Crazy, yes, I found too that the late feed seemed to one of the ones that varied according to growth spurts (that and the afternoon one - always a tricky one for us, especially trying to get them latched on when out and about which we usually were). That's why I persevered with it too, rather that for me than a night or early morning feed. If it suits your sleep patterns as well, then why not? It's only with dd2 that I was setting an alarm for both of us, then at around 4 months she started waking in the night plus up early as well that I was on my knees so gave up (in retrospect, she was huge and very hungry, started to settle down when solids were well under way).

It's defo a growth sput - I can literally see her grow in front of my eyes! Guess, I'll be doing the 10.30pm feed after all - looks like she'll be wanting it the little guzzler!!hehe.