Some encouragement needed please - newborn 11lb baby and I'm struggling

[NorkyButNice]

DS was born on Tuesday morning - 11lb plus and a fast and furious 3hr labour. He promptly fell asleep, feeding for just 20 minutes on one side at 2pm, and 10 on the other at 11pm. He then slept through the night till 6.30am.

Since getting home from the hospital at about midday yesterday he has been attached to the boob, or rooting for the boob constantly. He has hardly slept, and when he does, it's only for a short period before waking screaming again.

I've previously had breast surgery that prevented me feeding DS1, but this time I am able to express colostrum from both sides, and he seems quite happy to latch on and suck for hours, so I'm sure he is actually getting something out.

DH on the other hand thinks he's crying because he's hungry, and made up a bottle of formula at 3am. I managed to resist the temptation and latched DS2 on for another feed - eventually we all fell asleep at 6am.

Questions - is it normal for babies to be hungry at this stage, before the milk comes in? The BF specialist at the hospital said that they'd only be getting a few drops of colostrum at this stage anyway, so surely it's not a matter of actual hunger?

• is he so hungry because he's so big? It's definitely rooting that he's doing - tongue coming out, sucking on mine or DH's arm, chewing his fists.
• will giving 2 oz of formula at this stage ruin all chances of BF, even if he's latched on to me the rest of the time?
• any other words of encouragement, especially from those with experience of big babies!

See my post above, similar probs but smaller baby. Am desperate for advice too!

11 lb, wow what a whopper! Congratulations

At this stage your baby will be feeding to stimulate milk production, as well as to 'drink' the colostrum so the more he feeds/suckles the more milk you will produce so just perserve you are doing the right thing

It's utterly, utterly normal. All of that stimulation will be what brings in your milk in the quantities he needs. It's actually nothing to do with the size of the baby, which I know sounds strange.

And it's not just the colostrum he's after, it's comfort and closeness and familiarity.

Is he weeing? Any change in poos yet?

The absolute best thing you can do is allow him to latch on as and when he asks. Your body needs to know his requirements.

I assume you're still under mw care? She can check to make sure he's well and hydrated and a bfc would also put your mind at rest. Do you have the numbers?

yes, this is completely normal. All of mine fed constantly for the first few days - day and night.

I would avoid giving formula if you can. Your milk will come in soon and he is programmed to be ok until then on colostrum (I'm sure someone more knowledgeable than me will post on that)

Congratulations! My ds2 was 10.3 when born!

did you have to stay in hospital to start with to check his blood sugar levels?

Congratulations! Both my babies went a bit mad bringing my milk in - I would recommend making sure you have a good latch so you don't get blisters with all the suckling. I am quite pale and 'sensitive' and so made sure I had plenty of Lansinoh (not sure what similar product is called in UK) applied with DD2 as DD1 caused all sorts of damage (realise now that she was latching correctly but then slipping off as she fell asleep).

He's only 48 hours old - he needs to be close to you, and may not settle well when he isn't. 'Hunger' is less likely than this normal need to be near you, feeding on and off for ages and ages.

No need for formula at all, from what you say.

Formula will not 'ruin' bf, but what's the point of it, when what your big and lovely boy is doing is so very normal and necessary?

I think this is normal until your milk comes in and feeding as much as possible will stimulate. The amounts of colostrum produced and very low but he will be ok with it.

Provided he has wet and pooey nappies then he is getting milk, although I can see why you are concerned. If he was born on tuesday by tomorrow you should have more milk.

Congratulations! My top tip from experience of feeding my two whoppers (10.13 & 10.14) is to do it lying down whenever you can. Makes for instant relaxation and saves a great deal of strain on neck/shoulders/arms from supporting their weight.

Congratulations!!! and wow!!

Your Baby has just been through the most bizarre experience - from being a 'fish' to being a 'breather', with a squishy tight squeeze involed too. I'd be a bit upset if that had just happened to me TBH!!!

Just keep offering your breast and let him suck as much as he needs. You might also find that he's happier if you feed skin to skin - i.e. you take your top off and he is only wearing a nappy. It's what babies evolved to 'expect' and my DS certainly loved it (FWIW he was 10lb 6oz)...

My milk came in exactly 3 days and 1 hour after I gave birth. Before the milk came in we had 16 hours when neither of us were happy - he sucked pretty much constantly and it was very uncomfortable for me. But I just kept swapping him round and trusting my body/boobs. And lo and behold the milk appeared, he had a lovely big feed and slept. We carried on BFing until 19 months and he pretty much stayed on the 98th percentile!

Thanks everyone - short reply as am one handed again!

We were kept in for blood tests, and meconium observations. Bloods dropped from 3.6 at birth to 2.6 overnight but they discharged us so I assume all OK!

MW coming in a bit so will hopefully get some reassurance. I think he's gone a bit yellow, but I don't know what colour he's going to end up as I'm mixed-race.

He's not weeing as much as I'd like, but just did a big poo after 2 yesterday, and the meconium in waters.

DD was like that - my milk took ages to come in (finally arrived on Day 6) and DD was essentially latched on to me for the entire time, until the milk arrived. I'm sure your milk will arrive far sooner than mine did and that things will become easier for you - the early days can be horrendous!

I never gave DD any formula and the midwives and BF counsellors were happy for me to keep feeding until milk came in. IF, by any strange reason, your milk is delayed, it doesn't necessarily spell an end to breastfeeding. Back when DD was born and I was getting frantic owing to lack of milk, a lactation lady from the hospital came to see me and suggested that a supplementer could be used - essentially baby still on breast but teeny tube provides donor milk/formula (sort of slots into baby's mouth next to nipple - baby feeds from breast but gets food from other source until mother's milk comes in).

Anyhow, sorry about digression. Also, don't worry that your baby is 'big'. I fed DD exclusively at 8lb, 9lb, 10 lb, 14lb, 15lb etc until she started on solids (and even then, breastmilk made up most of her diet until 15 months).

You're doing brilliantly - see if you can rest, babymoon and try and relax - and congratulations too!

Ow ow ow ow ow.

Another night of constant feeding - he finally fell asleep at 5am and then woke at 8 for another go.

The midwife came yesterday and said he has mild jaundice, and I shouldn't worry about giving him a formula top up every now and then if I want a break - now DH is determined that this is what we should do and in my current frame of mind it's all too tempting.

My latch on the left side must be dodgy I think as it's excruciatingly painful every time he sucks - last time he unlatched there was a big bloody clot sat on my nipple (like bloody mucus?) so he's obviously done some damage there. I can't face latching him onto that side again anytime soon - is it OK to just feed from the other side for a while?

Norky - one-sided feeding is ok, but you do need to express on the unused side or you risk probs.

Shame the midwife was not able to help you amend the positioning and attachment on the left side. It should not be painful like this - is there anyone else who can help you in person?

Top-ups of formula undermine breastfeeding - no doubt about it. While it is an alluring idea to give you a break, you do need to bear this in mind. This is only day 3-4 and getting the feeding comfortable will help more than anything to give you respite...hope you get good help soon.

Hi! I had a similar situation. I'm going to go against the grain and say top him up with a little formula. it won't ruin the breastfeeding, also you could give it in a small cup, such as the lid of the bottle.

I am all for breastfeeding and fed my dd for two years. But my advice is you must not run yourself ragged and damage your nipples. If you don't get any rest your milk will not come in as fast

My milk ended up taking four or five days to arrive as I was half dead from near constant round the clock feeding. Poor dd was dry lipped and jaundiced and my dh was angry with me at my refusal to give a bottle. I should have.

An ounce or two of formula given once your baby has finished sucking but still seems hungry may help your situation. You will probably only need to do it once or twice.

Good luck and congrats!

Ds3 who is 8 weeks today fed like this to begin with - the first 4 days or so he just fed the WHOLE time - was literally feeding for hours at a time. He was 10lb12, and was quite a fast labour. His feeding has settled down now, though he still has marathon feeding sessions.

The Maternity Care assistant gave me a good tip which really helped with latching - if you take him 'chin first' towards the breast, then use his lower lip to kind of 'hook him' over the nipple, that really helps them to take more of the areola into their mouth. Hope that makes sense - it really helped me with ds3.

Just to add, I would avoid formula if you can, simply because it takes much longer for them to digest, so they then sleep longer and don't ask for the breast for a longer time, which then may reduce the supply.

Congratulations for the birth of your on

This was how my DS was too, and I suspect this is how most babies are, sucking constantly until the milk comes in (which can be exhausting, of course, but seems to be utterly normal). TBH the sucking constantly (in our case, at least) continued for 3-4 days if I remember correctly even AFTER the milk came in & then gradually got less & less. Being honest, I'll tell you that I did use one bottle of formula- it was the night before my milk came in & I felt discouraged & exhausted, baby hadn't slept at all. The formula 'knocked him out' & he slept for 4 hours or so (his first sleep, really) which kind of shocked us, I think it was very heavy on his stomach after the much milder colostrum, and also a bigger quantity. I rested too & then in the early hours of the morning my milk came in. The 1 bottle didn't ruin the bf at all, I suspect in most cases like this it wouldn't.

Looking back on it though, I really don't think it was necessary as this constant sucking is normal for a few days, it was more a confidence issue rather than a real need for formula. Oh and it had to do with the exhaustion as well, after a long drawn out difficult labour. I think it's not an all or nothing thing (in most cases) so do what you feel is right, you know what the right thing is for you & your baby. Main thing is to look out for signs of dehydration. Just one small piece of advice, there's a difference between one bottle of formula & giving it every now & again, however much I disagree with the 'only breastmilk ever' purists, I also believe formula in the early days is a slippery slope so keep that in mind, without putting too much pressure on yourself at the same time if that makes sense. Good luck!!!

Thanks for the further replies - sorry for posting and running but have hands full with overexcited DS1 when I'm not feeding!

Tiktok I asked the midwife for latching advice - she said it "wasn't her speciality" but it looked fine to her. My nipples beg to differ I think.

Things took a gory turn for the worse last night when DS2 detached from what I thought was the less painful boob to reveal a mouth rimmed with my blood - god knows how much of the stuff he swallowed mid-feed (although he was awake again half an hour later for more, so probably didn't eat that much).

So we have given into the formula - both nipples are scabbed and bleeding and I actually can't stand the pain of him sucking. Childbirth has nothing on this. I was worrying about dehydration - his lips were cracked and dry, he had red blotches in his infrequent wet nappies, and the jaundice looked a little worse to me.

He gulped down the bottle like a man possessed - made me feel totally inadequate and i've been having mournful sobbing moments since about failing him. Have latched him on for attempted feeds today but they last about 3 minutes before one of us has to stop it.

Am gutted and miserable.

Sorry this is so painful and hard for you, how horrible.

I got blood blisters with DD (DC1) and ended up buying nipple protectors - the Avent ones FWIW- and used them every other feed. That seemed to help, and the knowledge that the next feed wouldn't hurt as much helped. I think it also helped her latch, too, I also had a worse than useless MW. We kept BFing to 13 months, so the nipple protectors didn't have a detrimental effect, although I know they can cause nipple confusion.

Look after yourself xx

Norky

I am dismayed at this truly abysmal level of support from the midwife.

There is a bf specialist where you gave birth, you said....call them, explain the midwife has been helpful, you are in distress, and you want to breastfeed but it's just too painful.

Any decent service would get someone out to see you today.

Midwife has been unhelpful, I meant.

Some doctors surgeries have breast feeding counsellors. You have to wait to see them on the NHS, but they sometimes also do private sessions. We paid to see one out of desperation, which was pricey, but well worth it as she completely sorted out the latching on issue. I still kept the NHS app with the same lady for a couple of weeks later to have a refresher.

Because I got thrush we tried lots of things. You could get some nipple protectors as above - they are not perfect, but definitely helps with the pain. Are you expressing?

where do you live norky?

Norky the same thing happened to me and I actually had 2 days fo formula feeding and applying lansinoh every hour or so to my nipples until they healed enough for em to try again with advice from my midwife that my altch was not deep enough as II had stripes on my nipples that she called cats eyes, all the sucking beforehand made ,y milk come in and then as soon as it was comfortable I stopeed with the tops ups and was fine, you will damage yourself too mcuh if you keep going on ragged nipples you need to take a break use a liitle bit of top ups and then if you can get a breastfeeding knowledgeable midwife or someone like that to help you in person to latch on without damaging yourself and this happened to me with my other baby adn she was jaundiced, I actually wish I ahd given her more top ups at the very start so that i would ahve helped her more. its not failing its feeding. sometimes top ups save the breastfeeding in situations liek this