Entertaining toddler whilst bf newborn

[CakeandRoses]

Not certain I've put this in the right topic.

I'm due to have DC2 by C-sec in 2 weeks. DS1 is 21 months old.

I'm hoping to bf DC2 for a year+ (bf DS1 til 14 m) and would love some ideas to keep DS entertained and happy while I'm bf the baby.

DS loves looking at books and being read to. He also likes 'looking after' things - pretending to give milk to his stuffed rabbit, pushing a teddy around in his toy buggy etc. He loves to pretend to give milk to a friend's DD's doll and I was wondering if he'd like a doll himself (DH won't like that !)

I really don't want to plonk DS1 in front of the television unless its a last resort (we never watch it now partly because we're out a lot and partly cos I'd prefer DS to do other things).

DS was an efficient feeder (10 mins every 3 hours) but I guess this one could be different - has anyone had that experience with different DC?

Also for info, I do have some time to 'myself' as DS goes to nursery for 2 days a week (might reduce this in time), has a 2 hour nap in the mornings, and we have a cleaner.

Thank you!

Could you maybe get some talking books from the library so he can listen to a story without you reading it to him?

I also had a set of toys (only a few) that I bought new and which ds was only allowed to play with when I was bf.

You've said you're not a fan of TV

But honestly, it can be a great entertainer for situations like this

All cuddled up on the sofa... you, ds and the babe having a feed

(It saved my sanity anyway)

I know what you mean about tv, but this is only for a finite time, while baby is very little...and sometimes it is necessary!
I used to keep a couple of favourite books to hand and read aloud while i fed, but this is not always possible.
I also used to fill a tub with grapes/breadsticks/raisins and let him have a snack while baby fed. Raisins take AGES to eat

tv is currently my saviour too.
have 2.8 year old and 18 week old, who feeds a lot.
also, do: reading, puzzles. ds1 has also learnt to play more by himself. luckily he seems in very much a cars and train mood at the moment, and that keeps him entertained for hours.
yesterday, ds1 was playing with his doll whilst i was bfing. he even fed the doll, lifted up his t-shirt and shoved the doll up. fortunately for him, his doll is a very efficient feeder and they were done and dusted in a minute

or he runs around in the garden, whilst i feed outside.

can you swap toys with any friends or family? novelty helps ime

Why on earth can't you get him a baby doll? Seems like a strange idea to me that boys shouldn't learn to nurture and care for babies...My ds (just 2) loves his baby doll, pushes her in the buggy, puts her to bed, feeds her pretend tea - to be honest I think it's deeply sexist to say that all of this should be kept exclusively for girls - what a message to give boys who will be fathers one day. You could sit on the sofa feeding your babies together...

I could read to dd while feeding ds very easily but I guess a CS might make it harder

Another one who found Cbeebies a great help when DC2 arrived!

Reading while feeding was good - also jigsaws/drawing etc done at the table (if you can position DC2 comfortably using pillows, a chair without arms etc!).

Do you have a children's centre nearby? We have two, each with rooms for toddler / preschoolers to play while you sit feeding. The novelty is great for DD while I feed DS, and during certain sessions they have a play coordinator to help keep the older children busy.

Thanks very much all, some great suggestions.

Wiggle - Talking books are a great idea! Will try get some from the library (wouldn't have thought of that for preschooler age but I bet they do have some). Would be great if I can get some for his faves like the Gruffalo so he can look at the book while it plays.

sheep - LOL at your DS's efficient feeding baby I was wondering if my DS might start to think about bf his rabbit rather than giving a cup/bottle!

Oldestcat - What type of children's centre is it? I can't think of something similar here.

elliemental - The snack idea sounds good. Raisins always go down well!

nesomja - Chill! I agree with you. I said I might well get a baby doll for him not that I'd let my DH's archaic views stop me! It just makes me chuckle how DH, like many men, is an wonderful nurturer himself but seem to be a bit when it comes to boys with toy buggies, dolls etc.

An alternative to TV is to get a few DVDs of films / programmes that you do like so that rather than having to take whatever is on, you can choose just to watch 1 episode of something you fancy, or part of a film.

Perhaps I'm just old, but Bagpuss and The Wombles went down a treat. You could save it for Friday afternoons and get them used to the idea of golden time .

Although much of time my DS2 wanted to be fed at the toddler's meal times, so entertainment was unnecessary.

alana - good suggestions, thanks. Golden time is a sweet idea

Did you try to encourage the timing of the feeds that way or did it happen on its own?

I wish! No, he fed whenever he liked but tbh it was so frequent for about 3 months that it was hard not to coincide with mealtimes. DS1 was a lazy little so and so who rarely lifted a spoon or piece of food to his mouth until he was 2, so I had one hand holding a feeding baby and one hand shovelling in food to a toddler. Not recommended .

I did also go to toddler groups as often as I could get myself ready on time - DS1 was entertained by having different toys and other children, someone brought me a cup of tea while I fed the baby, DS2 slept in the pushchair on the way there and back and DS1 and I had the opportunity to examine every plant / paving stone / digger in the area. Are you near any?

I haven't been to any proper toddler groups (like playgroups you mean?) - we've only been to classes. Must look into some in my area as I know there's a few.

Did it get tricky to keep an eye on DS1 at the groups whilst you were feeding?

My DS1 can be a bit crazy - he's very gungho, doesn't have any instinct for danger and he's very clumsy (I was/am exactly the same and I'm covered in minor scars from my childhood years and I'm determined he won't end up the same!)

I have these horrid visions of DS going to jump off the top of a slide or something and me breaking off mid-feed, spraying all and sundry with breast milk as I gallop across a room to stop him!

Yes I suppose same thing as playgroups. I had to stop going to one that was run over 2 rooms, as I couldn't follow DS1 around and although he was fairly good, not all other children were! But most of them were just in a normal church hall, and small enough for you to be able to sit near enough to help, or more importantly to get to know people quickly so they would help when you were feeding the baby. You know how it goes, in a few months you won't be so chained to the baby and you'll be able to return the favour to the next mums that turn up with toddler and newborn.

Can't hurt to try anyway, and 2 of my best friends with children are people I met very early on at toddler groups with kids the same age as mine, in the same area, who they then went to pre-school and school with.

Good luck.

Yes, that's true regarding other mothers helping out. I wouldn't think twice about helping out with a toddler if his/her mother was bfeeding a newborn. And as you say, you soon get to know people there so it gets miles easier.

I feel like I've given poor DS a bad rep now and you're envisaging a 21mo thug He's actually really sweet-natured and chilled-out but just has no risk-aversion at all!

I've made some great friends from various classes already and of course it's always nice to meet more. It's a lovely thought that your DCs go through pre-school and school together.

Will definitely investigate what's nearby.

Can also add in that toddler playgroups are fab with toddler and newborn. Also nice that it actually feels there is something special for DS1 to go to (when there is such frequent feeding/nappy changing for the newborn, it is nice there is a special outing just for toddler).