switching to formula/mixed feeding

[hildathebuilder]

for those of you who have switched from bf to ff for whatever reason, did you regret it or once it was done did it get easier tto just get on with things and stop agonising about whether to switch?

(bit of background I'm 4 months in after a very difficult start with tube feeding a prem baby in NICU then scbu, now ebf although some bottles of ebm given by my husband. I don't really enjoy bf, ds is not a happy feeder, and I'm becoming increasingly miserable. I wonder if switching would make me happier but am scared i'll regret it. So want to know what those who did switch thought about their decision after it was made.)

I felt very guilty at first but we were all so much happier that I soon got over myself. Some of the guilt had to do with my own over achieving nature I think. I did mixed from 4 weeks and fully ff from 8 weeks.
It was the right decision and I'm glad I made it but I would really love another baby and really hope to manage better at bf with the next one.
Have you sought out any local bf support to see if they can help you out? While my local bf support didn't stop me introducing formula it did ensure the mixed feeding went on for longer than it otherwise would have.
I think the main thing is to be happy and not to beat yourself up about anything at this point.
Talking to my dh about it lots helped me.

I mixed fed DD from about 7 weeks and she was FF from 13 weeks. I regret it.

I was tired, she was a miserable baby, very unsettled, etc etc.

She was still a miserable unsettled baby on formula. With hindsight, I would have persevered. But you can only do what seems best at the time.

DS is still BF at 18m and it has been challenging, especially in the early days.

What exactly is the main reason for wanting to start FF? Sleep issues, generally feeling trapped, something else? I would bear in mind that at 4m you are probably at/past the trickiest part, it will be getting easier from now on.

But 4 months, with a prem baby, is fantastic. And if it's making you miserable I would be proud of what you have achieved and do what you feel happy with, if that means stopping then so be it.

But have a good think about all your options before you decide.

I started mixed feeding through various health issues, too boring to go into

I don't regret it at all, in the main because it meant I was able to continue giving some breast milk far beyond what I might have done otherwise.

I think you've done amazingly well to manage to ebf for 4 months in what must have been very difficult circumstances for you. Please don't beat yourself up or feel guilty, you've put a lot of effort into giving your little one a great start.

Breast milk is great of course, but it's not the only aspect of motherhood and having a happy mum is important too!

In different circumstances I would probably do the same again.

I fed DD for 7 months, then only lasted 3 months with DS -was the same as you describe, prem baby, with reflux, feeding every 2 hours and not a great experience. I was sort of conned into it by mum and others saying formula would make DS 'better' and i was sooooo tired i went along with it. Made DS no different and i had to add in washing and making a hundred bottles a day and night for him to throw up cos of his reflux.

I can't tell you what to do...but i wish i'd kept going... Only benefit for me was that dh could do some of the feeds...which he wasn't always so keen on..

I wish i'd got some bf support but i stupidly thought cos i'd been fine with DD i didn't need it. DS2 started like DS1 but with support we're doing great almost 4 months on

I had a very similar story to yourself when I bf dd (prem, very ill baby and mummy). I mixed fed from pretty early on and gave up bf by 5 months.

I really regretted it later, I felt like I hadn't done everything that I could have done to make it work. I've resolved some of those feelings now, having exclusively bf ds until he was 6m has helped, but tbh at the time with dd I'm not sure that I was in the right frame of mind to do anything other than what I did iyswim. It was easy afterwards to say "Oh I wish I hadn't given up bf, I wish I had done x, y and z" but actually I'm not really sure if I could have?

Don't know if that ramble helps you at all tbh. I suppose I'm trying to say that switching to ff might not make you happier and in fact might give you some new emotional issues to wrestle with.

Also agree that 4m is a really tricky stage, I was on here when ds was 18 weeks feeling like I couldn't possibly continue with bf as it was sio demanding. It did get easier . Whatever you choose to do now then you should still be really proud of all that you have achieved, esp in your circs .

Why don't you try mixed feeding? Bit of ff to give you a break and see how you get on from there. It doesn't have to be all or nothing....

Sorry for all the posts - kids distracting me

my reasons for thinking of switching are I don't actually like bf, ds is also not very happy feeding a lot of the time, I feel trapped with feeding especially when ds is very unhappy feeding (reflux) and screaming, I don't like the fact i have such a huge appetite, and I'm 4 months worth of tired with a 7 week old baby...with means I'm less patient and more irritable with ds than I'd like to be. Also because of drugs and vits I sterilise stuff anyway.

My reasons to carry on are that I know its better for ds, especially as he was prem and may therefore benefit from the antibodies, I think it may be more convenient when out and about, and having got this far and got him out of scbu bf it seems that it ought to get easier so giving up now may be a mistake.

Have you had any help and support re: the reflux? That appears to be your main problem.. As i said my DS had it and switching to formula made no difference...instead of unhappy feeds on a boob it was unhappy feeds on a bottle.

Although now i wish i'd carried on, at the time once the decision was made it was a huge weight of my shoulders. Go with your gut instinct....formula is not poison so do what makes your life easier and happier, whether its breast or bottle

Hi Hilda, OK, looking at your reasons below; what reasons are you not enjoying bf? Is it down to tiredness or is it uncomfortable? Have you had any assistance or counselling; tried different positions etc..? Why are you worried about your appetite? is v normal, I remember having more cravings when bf than when pg! Don't forget you are using up an extra 500 cals a day so make sure you are having something nice
Reflux is a tricky one; for most of the babies I have known with this formula has made it worse, sometimes due to intolerances, although different ones can be tried.
You have done brilliantly, and in a few months it will get easier so maybe keep trying a little longer and keep getting your dh to do ebm when you need a break.
The impatience and irritability is perfectly normal - you are a knackered mum, recovering from a prem birth & trying to do your best; cut yourself some slack, you are doing very well considering!