October Book of The Month Discussion - In the Country of Men

[TillyBookClub]

This is the thread to come to for tonight's Book of the Month discussion and live author chat. Just a reminder, we'll kick off at 8pm and chat about the book amongst ourselves for an hour. And then Hisham Matar, our author for this month, will join us at 9pm to answer questions and give us the inside story. We'll probably wrap up around 10pm.

If you can't make it this evening but would like to ask Hisham a question or two, please post them here now and Hisham will post his answers later on.

See you here at 8pm...
Tx

It is definitely a compliment that people need to ask if it is autobiographical

Did the father want the marriage as well or was he not interested? Maybe it was just a marriage of convenience for him and he did not have the interest in his son that he should have had to bring him up as he should have. It did seem however that there was a lot of warmth from the father at times but at other times S was ignored when he really needed his father.

Hisham, what about the mother? How did you you see her feelings about her husband as you were developing the character...did she love him, resent him...or both?

Giggi,
Hello.
I am allergic to generalizations, so I cannot say how Libyans in general feel about my book. But from those who have read it and written to me the reactions have been positive. No one has written about Libya in such a way before. Not even in Arabic. Literature dignifies what it focuses on, even if when it exposes shortcomings and failings. And so most have told me how good it felt to read themselves, or things they remember. Some exiles have found in it a kind of return. The book is not sold in Libya (needless to say, the authorities are not thrilled by it) but both the English and Arabic editions have been smuggled in and disrepute clandestinely. I am still nudged by the thought that my book, my little book, has returned to the places I myself cannot visit. It brought to mind Ovid?s (another exile) beautiful poem Tristia. An old favourite. Here is how it opens:

?Little book ? no, I don?t begrudge it you ? you?re off to the city without me, going where your only begetter is banned.
On your way, then ? but penny-plain, as befits an exile?s sad offering, and my present life.?

hisham - hi

do you feel that in writing the book, you were speaking for the people of Libya? Or were you just writing a story?

Notyummy,
I think both. But more than that I think she needed him.

yajorome,
Greetings to you and to your son.
Suleiman is not alone in his acts of betrayal. Everyone in the book, in someway or another, betrays someone. It is almost the engine of the narrative. And who amongst us does not betrayal someone or, more often, themselves, at least once a day?

TharSheBlows
I will respond to this even though it is a repeat. Although the book is not autobiographical, some, fearing or expecting others would think it was, were worried and urged me to change certain things. They were also worried about my safety. But the thing is, the work asserts itself in ways that are surprising. After a certain point (I don?t know when that is) you have little authority over it ? no authority whatsoever if it is worth its salt. The Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges said (I am paraphrasing) that a writer authors the work, then the work writes the author. Certainly been true in my case. No sooner had I finish the novel than it started spreading rumours about me. (And no, I don?t begrudge it. Not one little bit.)

Hisham, would it really have been possible for Sulieman to return to Libya? He seems to feel guilty about this? Was his guilt because he felt he should have done military service and seen his parents again?

Hello Squonk,
Certainly not speaking for the people of Libya or anyone, not even for myself. I was, as you say, telling a story. That is what I do.

That's an amazing way of looking at it - that your book is like the one under Suleiman's pillow.

Hisham, I think we're all (unsurprisingly!) intrigued by the mother and have quite a few questions about her - could you shed some light on her character, the way she feels about her hsuband (does she love him?), the reasons for her weakness?

thank you. I loved the book, by the way.

Another question, if you don't mind... When is the next book due out and is it also set in Libya?

(oops, that was two)

I loved the book too - I hadn't heard of it, didn't read the blurb or anything and just went straight for it.

Hisham, this work asked me to confront disturbing facets of human nature (esp the execution which i read as quickly as possible). were you motivated to expose and alleviate this trauma or are would you like to teach us something specific...or something else? Big thanks.

MadamePlatypus,
Guilt is ultimately an abstract thought. It is based on our imagining of how the other feels, or on how we imagine ourselves to feel. Guilt is a kind of disappointment, where our idea of ourself does not correspond to our actions. Suleiman feels guilty not to have been there, regardless of the practical reasons to why he was not able to return.

The execution scene actually made me feel physically sick.

TillyBookClub,
I think I have answered this already, but I will try to say more. I have not met two people who agree about the mother. She loves and hates in equal measure. She is terribly irresponsible, and terribly responsable. She is, I think, the true hero of the book.

Suleiman certainly came across as real so it's interesting that you don't have children but have obviously observed well. As you'll see from the discussion, a lot of folks were angry about Suleiman's actions and betrayals - did you intend him to come across as naively/ unknowingly betraying or as someone deliberately setting out to cause waves?

Also I have to say spending such a long time in a 9 year old's head made me think back to what I was like as a child at that age and it's certainly made me wonder what on earth is going on in my 9 year old daughter's mind (and life)!

I imagine that the execution scenes were plausable in that regime. It reminds me about Taliban executions in afganistan where they took place in stadiums in front of a large, frenzied crowd. How come people become a part of that whole thing? It seems to be relected in many instances how betrayal and compliance with atrocities becomes the norm for everyone. Would we all be so weak in such a situation?

Hisham, I agree about the mother's dual personality. Have you personal experience of someone with an alcohol problem?

What a depressing thought that we betray others every day. But true, I suppose. Something to work on.

Are you making political comments other than the obvious in the book - I mean, do you sit there hoping people come away with x, y and z? I read a column you did in the IHT (or maybe it was republished there) in February about America's not doing more about human rights violations in Libya. Is there an action that you hope people will take after reading it? The book really brings across a piece how it is to live in that kind of uncertainty and fear.

Yes, the mother does seem to lurch from one extreme to the other. I think she was a hero to send him away, because his Libyan future looked so bleak and his life means more to her than anything else. I reckon that was a very courageous decision.

Squonk,
I have pledged a vow of silence. Not out of superstition as much as I feel that the book I am writing now owns all of the language that can describe it. Some of my most intimate friends were shocked after I finished In the Country of Men; they had no idea that in the five years they knew me I was writing a novel. I intend to keep the same practice. But thanks for asking.

I agree, tilly, it was a selfless thing to do. I think she suspected that she would never see him again, but he would be better off