Missing boarding school induction and helping my child make contacts

[678socks]

Very annoyingly I can’t attend the school induction (for the new intake, specific to my child’s year). Apparently this is when informal arrangements are made to meet up before sept with people swapping contact details etc. Any clever ideas about how I can manage this without going? The child and my partner will be attending but social networking is not really high on their agenda.

Can you just ask your partner to put it higher on his agenda for the benefit of your child?

He will do his best but doesn’t come easily and actually I think it does tend to mostly be mums who do that stuff still…

Well if you can’t be there then he’s really going to have to put himself out of his comfort zone I think. I can’t see any other way that you can obtain their details.

Ask the houseparent/form teacher/school secretary to give your phone number to whoever is coordinating the WhatsApp group. That’s all you need.

Is it secondary school? I think you’ll find that secondary school age DC make their own social arrangements.

I agree with @TheCricketers - this is the kind of thing boarding staff would be looking to facilitate so contact head of boarding and explain. They should be more than helpful: introducing your DH and DC on the evening and making sure that they are included.
(the last thing they want is a review somewhere indicating that your DC/DH didn't feel welcomed and included)

I wouldn't worry too much- neither of my two met up with people the summer before starting and they both made loads of friends and integrated quickly. As a caveat, they did come from an informal feeder prep but the vast majority of their prep school friends are day not boarders so it didnt help them to integrate into their houses.

Missing the induction feels much scarier from the parent side than it actually is for the child. The social mixing at those events is much less organic than it looks — house staff are actively managing it and will pull your child into conversations if your partner gives them a quiet word. The WhatsApp groups and real friendships form in the first week of term, not before, when everyone arrives nervous on the same day. Your partner asking the housemaster to flag your child is exactly the right call, they do this routinely. I post more about what the first few days actually look like from the inside at @boardingschoolguide.