Tonbridge vs Radley

[BoardingDad]

My DS was fortunate enough to be offered places at both schools and we are duelling on it. Please, any thoughts on this?

We would appreciate any help!

Both great schools. Tonbridge probably more academic and with more weekly boarders.

Radley still very academic but also lots of all rounders. Greater emphasis on full boarding at Radley.

I would take the amount of boarding you want your son to do into account.

Thank you! We have the same view and that is the difficulty: we would like great academics AND great boarding experience. Each school is stronger in one of these aspects.

Do you believe the odds of getting into Oxbridge or Ivy League university differs greatly between Radley and Tonbridge?

Thanks

Tonbridge obviously has the better headline exam results. However, if your son is bright enough and driven enough over the next few years, whether he went to Tonbridge or Radley won't be the deciding factor in Oxbridge or Ivy League success. Both schools will be more than adequately equipped to support those applications.

All boys board at Radley, where it is approximately 60% at Tonbridge. My understanding is that Radley will offer a more traditional public school experience, whereas Tonbridge due to its location and day boy intake is less so. Both fantastic schools though, so a tough decision either way!

Thank you! It helped us a lot! Best regards,

Tonbridge boys have a reputation for misogyny locally. They share socials with various local independent girls’ schools and their comments and behaviour have frequently been awful. It is puzzling that Tonbridge School have failed to prevent this behaviour over the last few years (and possibly more).

The trouble with just looking at exam results is it is self fulfilling as parents of bright children focused on exam results will go there even if it’s wrong for their child’s wellbeing and children who are less ‘phenomenal’ will often choose to go elsewhere even though they may do well. In my experience choose whichever school feels right for your child and if they’re bright and high achieving they will flourish anyway. Schools like these are there to bring the best out of everyone!

thank you for your perspective! Appreciated

Tonbridge is fantastic! I'm biased though because I have two there but I really couldn't sing their praises enough! Very well rounded, but also very academic as others have said, lots of opportunities to get involved in so many things, the pastoral care is really good too.

Thank you very much for your insight. I am glad to hear your kids are having a good time there!

Don’t know Radney but absolutely love Tonbridge and whilst the boys may have a certain reputation amongst local students I wonder if PP can give any evidence or if it’s hearsay.
if your goal is Oxbridge or Ivy League allegedly going to a private school will work against Oxbridge. Think it may support Ivy league as there will be plenty of opportunities to develop extra curriculars that are needed for Ivy League.

Whilst they may help extract potential out of a student. A private school can only do so much and a student needs to be bright themselves. Tonbridge school is not that academically selective so I wouldn’t take getting in there as a reflection of your student’s ability

@Truetoself My daughter has heard Tonbridge boys say some truly awful things about girls in general and also individuals whilst she’s been at Tonbridge socials. She has friends at the other two schools which Tonbridge regularly shares socials with and it’s a common theme particular to Tonbridge School. Some of her school friends have been extremely upset by what has been said to them.
I will say that friends who have / have had boys at Tonbridge have been happy with their choice. But along with the incident at Judde House, it raises questions about the non academic education on offer there.

@mumofgirlskent OK

as a parent of a girl who went to a school that Tonbridge boys shared their socials with, I can tell you this wasn’t my daughter’s nor her friend’s experience.

and I do hope any occurrence like this is reported to the school so that appropriate action could be taken to correct this behaviour

Thank you for your inputs about Tonbridge. I totally agree with you: the school can only reach a certain point. The main aspect of the equation are the kids. Our university goals are based on (i) current exams and math competitions and (ii) our DS willingness to learn and to work hard for the best opportunities. That is why we are trying to select a school that can help him the most in the academic side, whislt maintaining a health and fun boarding environment.

What was the Judge house incident?

Judde!

There was an incident in June 2022 at one of the boarding houses - Judde. In which 5 boys left the school. I understand they were not expelled but asked to leave. This was due to a pretty brutal (and premediated) assault including laptops wires and cricket bat grips used to flog a fellow boy. He was also a second year boy. This attack was premeditated on a detailed what’s app group. Hence indicating the perceived immunity of the perpetrators.

How did this happen to this group after 2 years together? The mere fact these boys thought they could do this is startling. The House Master was replaced but is still at the school. For me this is the public face of severe bullying that the school does NOT have under control. The school has various policies and procedures published but frankly are often not followed. I would ask lots of questions around this.

The school portray it as the house being your family but it feels like it could be a very negative outcome here. Our experience is that discipline either seems very lax and then over the top when they do react. The school promised an external investigation related to this - as of course lots of prospective parents have been asking about this. This was NEVER delivered. I would be asking a lot of questions around this. Though I would assume it was more for PR than anything else. This incident was brushed under the carpet - It was not addressed publicly hence you won’t find anything on the internet.

The school portrays itself as pastorally strong - frankly haven’t ever seen it action! In fact it has ONLY disappointed to the downside. I wouldn’t trust this school with my DS.
#Tonbridge #TonbridgeSchool #Bully #Bullying

Thank you for letting me know. Which year group was it?

@Ezi03 The perps were other second year students.

I have often read on Mumsnet about poor behaviour from Tonbridge boys.

Although I have no connection to the school at all, I have visited.

But the constant noise around poor behaviour was enough to put me off.

Plus, bear in mind if you are an international parent you really want full boarding to ensure your son isn’t alone or in a small minority at weekend. At Tonbridge the vast majority of boarders live within 1 hour or so drive and they go home over weekend.

This was confirmed to me during my visit.

Radley is very much a full boarding school. Very English and in many ways similar to Tonbridge as academics and sport are highly valued.

splitting hairs as both are elite schools, Tonbridge is more academically selective on the way in and has better academics as a result. But Radley are still amazing compared nationally. Radley is the better at sport (but Tonbridge are also brilliant at sport).

culture wise it’s two different crowds. Radley very wealthy country set with old money and Tonbridge much more Kent/South east London middle class.

As one of the first posters said, the best way to choose between them is to decide if you want full boarding (Radley) or if you want your son to be able to come out at weekend (Tonbridge). Then factor in the culture.

again, If you are an international parent I’d say full boarding is much the better choice.

If your kid is super smart and I wouldn’t say one or the other school is better for Oxbridge/ Ivy League. He will get there from either school. They are both elite schools. Just with different emphasis of delivery: full boarding or flexi.

Tonbridge is a rough area too. It is an absolutely dump of a town. Pound shops, charity shops, grotty fast food and vape shops.

The local youths are bloody vile too a lot of the time. Something to consider if they board and spend time in the local town.

Mind you Abingdon is not much better these days…lots of trouble kicking off in the evenings outside Poundland..

I don't know the area, but I do know Tonbridge. I don't live there, but a friend does.

I have relations (multi-generational) who went to Radley. They're all pretty arrogant.

Do you know the old saying - Eton is for boys who aren't posh enough to go to Radley 😆

I live fairly close to Tonbridge and when I drive through the high street towards Sevenoaks I do ponder about where the boys go socially to socialise.
Takeaway ,vapes,nail shops with a peppering of fast food places is my take.
Tunbridge Wells or Sevenoaks are the closest decent towns.

@BoardingDad
We just received offers from Radley and Tonbridge as well. Would you mind sharing which school you ultimately decided on and the reasoning?

We are focused on academics as a priority and ability to help boys get into Oxbridge/US universities.

Thanks!