INSIGHT AND ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE

[SBilgrami]

I came here in sheer desperation a few years ago regarding prep school recommendations for my son who has autism and dyslexia. I was pointed in the direction of BRUERN ABBEY (in Chesterton) and could not have been more grateful. My son who is now 11 is thriving and has come on leaps and bounds.

He has gone from being an E/D/C grade student to currently, a 7 A's and 5 B's student. Our hopes and predictions are that this too will improve over the course of the next 20 months. Academically, he has made remarkable progress.

I am now (slightly late) on the hunt for secondary schools. Specifically Strong in both Sports/Arts as those are two areas where my son is particularly talented. Cricket and Football are his main sports.

He is a stickler for routine, he loves boarding school, has exceptionally high standards for himself and big dreams - all which I wish to continue to support him in.

I am a single parent. We will be needing scholarships and bursaries for all applications. My son has a very challenging relationship with his father, therefore reliable consistent male figures/mentors are important to us at any school. Open to both single sex and CoEd. We are currently located in Oxforshire.

So far, we have shortlisted the following schools;

Rugby
Oakham
Millfield
Marlborough college
Bedes
Oundle School

(He has his heart set on Millfield)

Please can I have first hand experiences, insights, any and all useful information regarding the above list. Am I missing any that should be on the list? Should any that are currently on the list be removed? If so, why? What are the pastoral care provisions like at the respective schools? Are private tours better or are open days sufficient enough?

Please share anything you feel is important in helping me navigate this next phase of life.

Thank you very much.

Where does his prep head recommend?

Unfortunately scholarships don't usually knock much off the fees and are hard to come by and bursaries are now much more competitive given the VAT imposition but I wish you good luck!

Given your DS's clear success at his prep school, I would strongly recommend asking his current Headmaster for a steer and take his guidance seriously. He obviously knows what it takes for a school to deliver what your DS needs.

I can only comment on Millfield which is second to none in sport and also has a phenomenal LSU providing outstanding support for dyslexic students.

That said, a consistent comment I hear about the school is that to succeed there you need a robust personality and fairly sharp elbows. The school is vast. It will provide every opportunity conceivable for children who want to take advantage of them, but I am told it will not seek out children who do not push themselves forward. If your DH has the personality to put himself forward for things, and then commit to whatever is expected of him, he will succeed there. But if he is happy to keep a low profile then he could disappear in the crowd, and there is no "Bryanston system" to pick this up quickly.

I have no reason to think your son will fall into this category, but I find it telling that none of the parents I know who went to Millfield are sending their own kids there (though I could also say the same for other schools, I suspect for different reasons).

Do get your Headmaster's comments and let us know what you decide.

@SBilgrami , why aren't you considering Bruern Abbey senior school?

Thank you very much.
All very much appreciated. A year ago the current head had said that Radley and Abingdon and Byanston were good options. However my son has changed so much in the last year, and is expected to continue to. His sporting profile has also changed, he is suddenly on a county cricket pathway with a strong chance to be playing regionally and beyond. This too is a change in the past year.

Hence I find myself a little stumped..

Unfortunately it simply doesn’t have the sporting facilities and provisions available. It also doesn’t have the option of full boarding. They have also just announced that they are now from September accepting girls and going coed, which even though I am not averse to, I am well aware that the transitional period the school will be going through is going to be significant as it has historically only ever been a boys school, and neurodiverse girls are very different to boys. I suppose in a slightly selfish way I simply don’t want my son to be a ginuea pig of sorts and struggle as a result of a major overhaul.

Thank you very much. Very sensitively well aware of how tough bursary provisions are, however I have just secured my son a 100% bursary for his current school, and am sincerely hoping and believing that that will continue on for us. We live in hope after all! 😊

A year ago the current head had said that Radley and Abingdon and Byanston were good options. However my son has changed so much in the last year, and is expected to continue to. His sporting profile has also changed, he is suddenly on a county cricket pathway with a strong chance to be playing regionally and beyond. This too is a change in the past year.
Hence I find myself a little stumped..

So where do they suggest now?

Oundle rugby Marlborough are great all round full boarding options (no weekly or flexi).
Oakham ok if you want weekly:flexi.
bigger the school. Usually means more bursary support available if the school is wealthy.
id say no to Millfield - if he’s only regional cricket and not the stand out star in his county A side then he will be nothing at millfield I’m afraid and will get lost. Oundle and rugby both have great cricket setups. No idea about Marlborough as it’s out of my geographic area.
Abingdon extremely average at sport and crap at cricket.
if you look at the Oundle school cricket feed from today it tells you that 33 pupils play cricket at county level. My dc are at Oundle. We have no complaints about the school. It’s good for self starters and children who like to work hard and keep busy …
go visit a variety of schools and see which you like. Definitely get your prep head’s view on suitable schools if it’s a prep which feeds a large number of senior. If it just feeds its own senior then ok afraid the head’s input may be less informed.

You need to have applied to Marlborough by the end of year 5- so I think you’ve probably missed that one.

Thank you. However the headmaster at bruern Abbey has an arrangement with many top private schools to extend the application by 1 year due to their neurodiverse profiles and changing academic arch. Therefore I’m just about okay timeline wise! Thank you though :)

that's amazing your head can do that especially for a bursary place! One of my DC's got a place at one of the schools mentioned in the spring term of year 8 as we were vvv late applying due to a variety of factors. Dc is academic and sporty but we were basically waiting for someone to decide not to take up their place. I was pretty persistent and became very friendly with admissions which helped.

But I do suspect it may be more tricksy if you are seeking a full bursary and are a little late applying.

Good luck!

I may have missed where you are geographically but personally we are less than an hour away from the school and that is perfect as I am normally there at least once a week watching matches etc. I feel very sorry for those who are 2 or 3 hours away when it is dropping off after exeat at 9pm on a Sunday.

Am late to the party, sorry.

You don’t. There’s another round of ISEB for in Oct for the Y7 cohort. They hold back around 30 places. Marlborough is fab. Not bad at cricket either.

Am late to the party, sorry.

You don’t. There’s another round of ISEB for in Oct for the Y7 cohort. They hold back around 30 places. Marlborough is fab. Not bad at cricket either.

Thinking about Oundle School for my son for yr 9 entry. What do people think of it?

If you have specific questions start a new post perhaps? Or search Oundle in the sear ch bar and filter by date. You can DM me any questions. My dc are there/have been through there.

For a child who thrives in routine and needs consistent pastoral support I think the boarding house structure matters more than the school name. It's worth asking each school directly and specifically like how long do their house parents typically stay in post because High turnover in that role can be really disruptive for children who rely on familiar faces and consistent relationships. Also ask how the house parent communicates with parents as well soo is it weekly updates, or only when there's a problem. I feel like the difference in approach between schools on this is significant and not something that comes up on open days.