Down House

[Lotous]

Hi Everyone, I saw DH for my DD and we love the school as the pastoral care was amazing and I personally believe in less pressured environment, children have more chance of flourishing. The staff were very caring and kind. Girls looked happy and not shy away. The school offered so much to girls and I loved the idea of day girls which they gradually can transfer it to flexible boarding at upper years.

DD is very capable in many aspects. She is very strong academically as well as very sporty and definitely showed talent in music. She loves art and drama. She is very happy child so far. But she definitely needs to be more independent and stand for her right.

I know the school is a bit behind at current affairs and the result is not as high as some others girls school. I am really not worry about result as I personally went to extremely academic school and the mental damage didn’t worth at all but at the same time I really don’t want to take any chance around top end universities from my daughter as she is very much a high achiever. My bigger worry is if the girls are getting ready for modern life at DH and if the school make strong and confident girls with enough resilience for real society?

I really would appreciate if you share your experiences with me.

Many thanks 🙏

No direct experience as we decided on WA in the end, but visited DH on several occasions and I was very impressed with both the staff and the girls who showed us around. I have no doubt that it’s a brilliant school able to challenge all students academically.

Can I ask that how you found WA so far? Obviously you liked it better but how is the real experience? DH very strong point is day option which is working perfectly for my daughter to starting as day and gradually moving to flex boarding without any mental pressure on her, what you think of full boarding?

We visited both DH and WA last year for my DD and in the end decided to apply only to WA (and St Mary's Calne which i really liked!). I can't really point to any "bad" things in particular about DH: the school, teachers and girls seemed very nice and I am sure a lot of girls are thriving there! We did visit during a rainy and cold Saturday in January which probably didn't help (although of course we didn't make our decision based on that!). We just preferred WA and WA is also logistically more convenient for us (my daughter would be coming home after Saturday). I know DH has introduced more flexi boarding which is quite appealing (but still a very long commute for her/us).
If your daughter is quite academic I would go and visit WA as well - although I guess if you d like to start as a day pupil it would depend if it s feasible in terms of logistics?

We are extremely happy with WA. The girls there does put quite a bit of pressure on themselves (more so, I think, than the school) though this is more notable in later years; Junior House was quite relaxed.

DHs flexible boarding is a recent thing and wasn’t available when we applied for my eldest daughter. WA allows girls to go home Saturday after fixtures and return late Sunday, which we thought was a good balance and in fact it can be quite hard convincing my daughters to come home even then, given the weekend activities at school (paintballing, shopping, socials with other schools etc).

WAs boarding structure is a little different than many other girls’ boarding schools because only the first and last year is separated into individual boarding houses. This means each house, and dorm, has a huge age difference. This seems to work very well, lifting up the younger girls and giving older girls a chance to be responsible and caring. It also means more friendships across year groups which my daughters greatly appreciate.

@liliacg We too visited StM Calne and found it delightfully. Smaller, but very impressive staff and girls.

Thank you for sharing your experience, She is very capable girl and academically strong specially in Math.

DH started fully day girls from coming September which it means that girls can come home every night after all school activities and apparently above 50 girls registered for this option in less than a year. I believe I should be under 15 miles away of WA to getting this day option. DD definitely likes to start as a day girl and later on transferring to boarding. I am very worry that the pressure of WA changes her from being a happy and full of life child to a nervous person who thinks that always should do something very serious with her life and no time for being relax and doing absolutely nothing, but maybe I compare my experience of pressurised academic school from so many years ago to now, which is wrong.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I’ll book a viewing for WA

Just a word of caution re day girls at a primarily boarding school-

Not with DH but DD experience was that she spent a long time on the bus and missed out on the fun evening activities at school but arrived home too late to really be a part of family life. So lose/lose really. And we were only about 1/2 hour away so not that far.

It is also important to see how they are put into houses-DS weekly boarded and the day pupils and weekly/full all in the same houses.
Worked very well and was a nice environment. Everyone was included.

DD school had separate houses for Day girls and was very clique-y. Very excluding set up. She ended up leaving.

Well, very fair point, never thought about it, maybe I should see how they will handle it next year. Thank you

I personally wouldn't worry too much about the academic pressure at WA. The girls are all very happy and manage to combine hard work with a lot of fun.

But I do think you are right not to send a child boarding who doesn't want to do so. Mine were both extremely keen on it, considering it a sort of permanent sleepover, so that was never part of our worries. Day girls at WA seem to integrate well into the school life - some of my eldest daughter's best friends are day borders. They're all assigned a regular boarding house and even a dorm. I believe they will very occasionally stay the night.

There is of course the option of a WA 13+ entry. That would mean you could consider schools like Godstowe, which is de facto a feeder school for WA. I believe they offer both flexi-boarding and "ad-hoc boarding" and that they do both 11+ and 13+ WA entries (though you'd have to confirm the numbers - I'm pretty sure the main entry is 11+ by some margin). Though I guess you'd really have to prefer WA over DH for this to be worth it.

IMO, you have no need to worry about whether the pupils are prepared for real life. DH puts a lot of effort into preparing pupils by providing many opportunities to develop character and experience - from work internships, school exchanges and old girl networks.
The opportunities are there if your daughter chooses them. As for the difference between day and boarding, again it boils down to your daughter and how much time she wishes to spend at school and ultimately wishes to board. There are day girls who spend every moment at school and those who prefer more time at home. DH adjusts for each pupil's needs. DD boarded but had good friends who were day girls and it didn't make any difference to her friendships. Like your DD potentially some girls became boarders.
Notably friendships are not just within year groups but between different years, which can develop through the sports/music/drama activities and through the house system at DH. DD has really good friends two years above her, and the year below through her activities. Extra-curricular activities are taken seriously and get a lot of support, more so than some other schools, so pupils spend good times together. This builds the bonds and friendships.

I very much liked both Downe House and St Mary's Calne (didn't consider WA as DD would have been likely bumping along the bottom academically). In the end we opted for a co-ed school closer to home (with her brother). Although I'd honestly prefer a girls school for her, all other things being equal, I admit I got nervous about DH's increase in day places and the introduction of London weekend buses, given that we are a good 2 hour drive away so coming home every weekend not an option for her. But that aside, I think it's a great school, as is SMC.

@grassisgreen Thank you so much! It is great to hear it, I hardly managed to find anyone from DH to talk to but so far what I found in most chat group was people were very positive about DH but again ending at WA. So I am very glad of your feedback, now I have true experience of DH. Thanks

Great! Thank you for the above information, I’ll definitely go and see them. I will call them tomorrow. Let’s see which one at the end , so difficult 😣

You had very interesting point in your message, saying that after experience the co-Ed you still prefer girls school, that was my battle of not sending her to same school as my son but lots of people think this is real society, I think she is doing so many activities with boys during a week but she feel more comfortable to have her girly circle at educational time. Maybe I am wrong

I don't think you're wrong. There is a significant body of evidence that girls, on average, perform significantly better at girls' schools, especially in STEM subjects.

On the other hand, the key phrase here is probably "on average." If you have a very outgoing child who is not afraid to speak up in class, or if there are other factors, such as being in the same school as siblings of very similar age etc, these could easily outweigh the advantages of a girls-only education.

Both WA and DH do a number of socials with boys' schools, by the way. You'll find that those are weekends you'll definitely struggle to convince your daughter to come home...