Birthdays while at boarding school

missoa · 2024-10-12T21:36:38+00:00

Could I ask your opinions? It may seem a bit of a silly question, but I boarded from 13 and absolutely loved it. It's recently occurred to me, however, that I or my friends were often away in the summer so I didn't have many parties to celebrate my late July birthday. This could be due to my (let's say) slightly difficult parents, or - is it a feature for those children who board, that their summer birthdays are missed? The silly part of this question is because my husband and I are trying for our third child and I'm hesitant to try for a July or August baby incase in the distant future my children would like to also board. (I didn't want to post this on the pregnancy forum boards, as I feared opinions on boarding schools would dominate the replies.) Any thoughts greatly received!

brawhen · 12/10/2024 22:39

I did not board, my birthday was in the summer holidays, sometimes I had a party and sometimes not. I don't think this is a big deal!!

Also, if parties are important, you can have a party not on your birthday?

muggart · 12/10/2024 22:42

Did you have many local friends? Sometimes boarders don't have friends that live locally and so that might interfere with their ability to socialise in the holidays.

My birthday was term time but my boarding school banned birthday celebrations after I had been there a few years. In the early days we'd get pizza and watch a film every time someone had a birthday, it was nice.

My DB had an august birthday and would celebrate it most years IIRC.

Calliopespa · 12/10/2024 22:44

I wouldn’t worry about the birthday party aspect, but as schooling has become more pressured since our day, if I avoided summer birth for a reason, it would be that a four year old starting school is a nearly whole year younger than the older children in the class . This can make a huge difference maturity-wise, and as early years syllabuses reward maturity above all really, I do think summer babies have a much tougher time of it. If you think about it, the older children have lived twenty-five percent of a summer child’s whole life longer!

User999990011 · 12/10/2024 22:47

The issue would be the same boarding or day. Most people do tend scatter around the globe over summer. My DD boards and has a summer birthday. It’s a matter of just organising in advance to see who is around or celebrating before they break up or just after school starts depending on when in July or August.

tachetastic · 12/10/2024 22:47

My DS is an August baby and a boarder, and we just make sure we book something for the last weekend in August/first weekend in September, so it's reasonably close to his birthday and most of his friends are around.

So your plan is to avoid sex with DH for the next eight weeks to avoid a summer baby, in case they want to board in future? I would let the baby arrive when it is meant to, and deal with parties if/when that becomes an issue.

muggart · 12/10/2024 22:50

Calliopespa · 12/10/2024 22:44

I wouldn’t worry about the birthday party aspect, but as schooling has become more pressured since our day, if I avoided summer birth for a reason, it would be that a four year old starting school is a nearly whole year younger than the older children in the class . This can make a huge difference maturity-wise, and as early years syllabuses reward maturity above all really, I do think summer babies have a much tougher time of it. If you think about it, the older children have lived twenty-five percent of a summer child’s whole life longer!

Edited

I read once that August babies are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD!

tachetastic · 12/10/2024 22:56

@Calliopespa "I do think summer babies have a much tougher time of it. If you think about it, the older children have lived twenty-five percent of a summer child’s whole life longer!"

Have they really lived twenty-five percent of a summer child's whole life longer? Even when they get to 12 or 14? I am a bear of little brain so I am not disagreeing but that sounds a lot.

Calliopespa · 12/10/2024 23:10

tachetastic · 12/10/2024 22:56

@Calliopespa "I do think summer babies have a much tougher time of it. If you think about it, the older children have lived twenty-five percent of a summer child’s whole life longer!"

Have they really lived twenty-five percent of a summer child's whole life longer? Even when they get to 12 or 14? I am a bear of little brain so I am not disagreeing but that sounds a lot.

When they start I meant!

A five year old is a year older than a four year old. One year is a quarter of a just-turned- four-year-old’s life.

Or maybe it’s me that’s tired! 🤨

I agree the gap does close ; but if you are open to dodging a summer birthday - which op seems to be - I think this is a far more substantive reason than birthday party logistics.,

Calliopespa · 12/10/2024 23:13

muggart · 12/10/2024 22:50

I read once that August babies are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD!

Show quote history

I’ve read that too. Which of course makes one wonder, does a summer birth trigger adhd? Or could it be a lack of maturity (comparatively in their class) sends parents and teachers scurrying for explanations.

DornfordYates · 13/10/2024 02:01

DD currently boarding and birthdays during summer months seem to be no issue at all. Some chose to arrange the party early before end of term, or in September after school start, but also several invitations to parties during the holidays (with early notice and attempts to schedule for when most of the invitees at home)

Although I should perhaps mention that birthday parties at DDs school seem not to be a big thing - at least it doesn’t seem to be important to arrange the party near the date of the actual birthday. Some do them months later…

Original poster

missoa · 13/10/2024 12:32

Calliopespa · 12/10/2024 22:44

I wouldn’t worry about the birthday party aspect, but as schooling has become more pressured since our day, if I avoided summer birth for a reason, it would be that a four year old starting school is a nearly whole year younger than the older children in the class . This can make a huge difference maturity-wise, and as early years syllabuses reward maturity above all really, I do think summer babies have a much tougher time of it. If you think about it, the older children have lived twenty-five percent of a summer child’s whole life longer!

Edited

Thank you for your reply, and yes I very much agree with this! My eldest's birthday is the end of December, and it's been repeatedly recommended to me to defer him. I can see that he's the youngest of his peer group. It certainly seems commonplace here in Scotland, I'm not familiar with the English system - moved to Scotland before having children.

OP posts:

brawhen · 13/10/2024 12:43

@missoa deferring is quite common here in Scotland - ime it is more common the wealthier the family (they know about it and can afford it?). There are definitely more deferred children at the private schools we have used vs the state schools we have used. Some private schools use either calendar year or English cut-offs, which would lead to deferment vs the Scottish norm.

Fwiw I did not defer my children and it has been fine - but there are swings & roundabouts.

SparkyBlue · 13/10/2024 14:25

I think summer birthdays can be crap in general. Same with Christmassy ones and January ones. No experience of boarding schools but I have an August birthday and so does DC and it can be difficult. Friends are often on holidays when it's his birthday. Also his school is great and makes a big fuss of birthdays and you can
send in a cake and treats and have a little party in class and he doesn't get to have that (yes he does get mentioned with the September birthdays but not the same) as it's a full month later so I feel it's over and done .