St.Mary’s Ascot, Heathfield, and Downe House

[Intoand]

Hi everyone, we’re considering the top three schools for DD who is currently in prep school but will be coming up on the 11+ soon so any insight or recent experiences with these schools would be helpful!
For context, DDs current prep goes up to 13 so we’re looking at both 11+ and 13+ entry and if there is any benefit to either. She would be a full time boarder and enjoys playing the cello, riding horses, and ballet. However, she has also been a part of other sports teams at her school such as hockey and tennis which she liked.

The one I don't know is Heathfield- I have a couple of friends who went there and turned out very well(!) but they're in their 40s now, so not really relevant. My Goddaughter and her sister went to StMA and certainly flourished there. It's very Roman Catholic though, which might or might not suit. I see a lot of girls from DH and the overwhelming sense I get is that it's a formidable powerhouse for clever, driven girls, but that this can translate into being a hothouse that puts a lot of pressure on them. So you are likely to encounter girls with eating disorders and other issues. The other observation I'd make us that a high number of DH girls go home at weekends which isn't ideal for full boarders who can't. The same may well be true of StMA and H. If that's a big issue you might be better looking farther from London.

@Chilbolton Thank you, very interesting! We are Roman Catholic which is part of the reason we’re considering St.Mary’s Ascot but it’s not a huge factor for us so not too worried about it.

I have heard similar things about Downe House and not really sure what to make of it. Many say it’s a great school but, as you said, pressurized in not just an academic way but also a social way. Not sure if this is a big issue though or just an underlying occurrence that happens here or there.

And for full boarding I would have thought more DH girls stay in at weekends since it’s they have a lot of boarders! We don’t live extremely far from any of the schools listed above (around an hour or so away) so Dd would be able to come at weekends if she wanted to. However, I would want more of a full boarding atmosphere.

Try Queenswood. Up near potters bar and Hatfield. Good sports, especially tennis and hockey. they definitely do horsey stuff, have a polo team. Not hot housey. But get results out of the kids.

I know it’s miles away but if you’re Roman Catholic and looking for full boarding anyway go and have a look at Ampleforth College. There’s a much larger intake at 13 but actually the small junior boarding house for years 7 and 8 is a wonderful gentler introduction to secondary school! I honestly think you’ll struggle to find anywhere that feels more right when you look round. Amazing music and sport.

I have noticed that lots of people say they want a full boarding atmosphere while also wanting to take their own kids out most weekends…
(I myself am as guilty of this as anyone BTW)

Same. 😂

Thanks for the recs on Queenswood and Ampleforth, will look into them some more. I’ve heard of both before but don’t know too much about Queenswood, though I didn’t realize until now how close to it is to London. As for Ampleforth, it may be too far, but I believe a family friend has their children there so might reach out to ask about it as I’ve heard good things.

And for full boarding… you’re definitely right, she’ll probably be home more weekends than not at the beginning 😉but I think as she gets older she’ll probably want to stay and hang out, so maybe a good balance is in there somewhere.

I don’t really know all the details but Ampleforth College definitely organise transport to London (and airports for overseas boarders).

Heathfield now has a significant number of day girls and a lot of boarders are only weekly. I also think it is starting to look and feel rather worn and tired - and it felt rather cold (as in heating was being rationed!!!!). It’s also a VERY small school which works for some girls and not for others.

Queenswood is a good call if you want more of a weekly boarding vibe - lots of girls board weekly. Ditto Roedean.

St Mary’s and Downe House are in a different league academically though and both are full boarding. I would concentrate on whether you want your daughter home at weekends or not. After spending much time agonising over it, my DD is a weekly boarder and she gets the best of both worlds. She is able to get involved in all the extra curricular activities on offer in the evenings but still come home and chill with us for three nights.

The heating situation at Heathfield seems very interesting, lol! We did like that it had some more traditional aspects but I do admit might be a bit small. We did like how they seem to have a strong equestrian program compared to most other schools that dont appear to have as much involvement spare a few girls who ride and keep horses at a nearby barn. I’d be really interested if anyone has had experience with their children doing a sport at a boarding school at an outside club or barn and how it worked for them.

When I was researching though I noticed they added day girls some time in 2015? I believe alongside their boarding intake so it only grew the school in size from what I can tell. Would like to know how that affects younger years still as I’d assume there’d be more day girls at that age.

Weekly does sound attractive as I think it’d be a good fit for DD to get everything out of the school while we can still see her at weekends! Think she’d might want to start staying more as she gets older and we travel a bit sometimes for work anyways so I’d still want a robust weened program available!

I do like how there is more emphasis around academics at St.Mary’s and Downe House but we did rule out Wycombe Abbey as we thought it’d be too academic for DD. Academics are very important but I’d want her to fully enjoy her time boarding instead of worrying about schoolwork every second. Downe House seems to offer a more in co curriculars, but their size is bigger compared to St.Mary’s.

I think DH is much more Kensington/Chelsea and international girls. Although still probably 90% white, it is far more diverse than many of the schools in this league.

DH and St Mary's A will have similar academic pressure to be honest. StM I'd say is a lot less West London but weirdly also more expensive.