Searching for the sweet spot!

[SchoolMama]

Hi All
DS (Y5) and staying until Y8. Want boarding for him as he has a wide range of interests and loves trying out new things. Also v sociable and high EQ. Academically, he is bright but not super super bright. He has to work to get the grades. He’s at a reasonably demanding prep and mostly placed at the bottom end of the top 1/3 of his class.
Have been to see Harrow and Wellington and think he would love both for the atmosphere and sense of fun that they both have + range of activities on offer, but worried that these might both be a stretch for him in terms of getting an offer. Also, what if he gets in but then has to spend all his time stressed out and just keeping up with academics and has no time to enjoy activities? I’m hoping you can recommend some options. Here are my criteria:

• needs to be academic enough to stretch him and get the most out of him but not to the extent that he can’t take part in activities
• within 1.5 ish hr drive of SWLondon
• prefer weekly boarding but will consider full
• skiing and/or sailing clubs would be a massive plus but generally it needs to have a wide range of cocurricular on offer
• parent involvement and visits must be encouraged (I like lots of excuses and opportunities to visit)

I really loved the tradition, warmth, fun and strong sense of identity at Harrow. All the boys I met seemed genuinely happy and were lovely so I suppose I’m looking for a less competitive alternative. All suggestions gratefully received!

Canford (Wimborne) might be a stretch on distance ( easy drive though- M3/M27/A31) but worth a look I'd say. Co-ed. Has 30% day but very much a boarding school. A lot of upcoming investment in new sixth form facilities. I thought the children were the nicest I met on any open day (I know they're not going to let the awful ones show prospective parents around, but still ....) Marlborough seems the other obvious candidate but is full boarding and fairly strict on that I think.

Sevenoaks? Dulwich?

Go for the most academic school your DS is able to get into. That’s what selection is for, to find like minded peers:) You will find that Harrow and Sevenoaks are both highly selective and academic,

Thank you all - had discounted Canford and Marlborough because of distance but maybe we should check them out. Somehow Sevenoaks escaped my radar so will look into it, thank you.
@Floreathlon: i think I’m just finding it difficult to gauge his chances - his scores on ATOM at this point are very variable. Mock Tests anything from 6-9 (though mostly 7s I’d say). I think for top schools he’ll need to be scoring 8s and 9s consistently. Am I judging too early?
I don’t want to sell him short but I also think it’s important to have a hedge. Does that make sense? Another friend says only put schools on the list that we’re happy for him to go to but it seems so competitive 😖

What does his prep advise (or have they not said anything)

Hi Xiaoxiong
They have said Harrow, Tonbridge, Wellington and Hampton (when we were considering day schools) are doable but definitely ‘stretch’ schools for him. They have suggested we look at: Dulwich, Charterhouse, Cranleigh and Epsom (though they warned v competitive at the moment). Dulwich is out because not boarding. Haven’t seen Charterhouse yet and Cranleigh was LOVELY but I worry whether it’s too much the other way in terms of academics. CAT at the start of Y5 was a mean (SAS) of 110 with a heavy bias towards verbal in the 120s but overall average was brought down by a lower spatial score which school have suggested should be much higher based on classroom performance. So maybe his true SAS should be more like 115-120 but I’m not sure that’s enough for these top schools. Any thoughts?

Eastbourne...

In addition to full vs weekly and co-ed vs single sex, you should really take (compulsory) sports and music into consideration, as that will narrow it down significantly. Harrow, Tonbridge and Wellington all have a compulsory team sport set by the school each term, and they are non-negotiable. Find out what they are each term, and see if it fits your DS e.g. does he want to play rugby in the rain 3*2 hours per week? Charterhouse same, but it’s a football school. Music tends to be great at most for most, probably least served at Hampton but I’m sure it’s still decent there.

Harrow, Tonbridge, Wellington and Hampton are all super selective, but once you pass the initial ISEB hurdle the interview will count for a lot where his EQ will really come into play. To be on the safe side, you really want to be in the 8-9th percentile for these schools (and never in the 6th or below) but it’s a day’s test so just roll the dice: your DC could have an amazing day!

These are all very different schools though, almost to the extreme. Harrow is traditional boys only full and alpha and balanced science vs humanities, Tonbridge is STEM-leaning co-ed and still alpha, and Sevenoaks is academic IB only. They all have sets, so I wouldn’t worry about “too academic” you can even go to Westminster or Winchester and have a great time in the lower sets (90% still gets A/Astars!).

Wellington is less academic but equally selective intake if not more, as it is popular with the nouveau riche, but really better suited to sharp-elbowed cool kids offering nearly everything you can dream up A-lvl/IB too, rugby and sports drive social hierarchy A-teams are artificially propped. Brighton is another Wellington alternative (weekly co-ed), more academic and a real exam factory.

Based in your scores, your DS is probably
more into humanities, so Tonbridge (and Hampton) are probably less suitable, unless the compulsory sports are a perfect match.

Have you considered Eton? It is well known for its classics, philosophy and humanities

I am surprised that your head suggests Tonbridge (but not Eton) for a humanities leaning DS.
Either he is missing something, or I am 🥸

Most helpful Floreathlon, thank you so much. So, what I’m hearing you say is that if he manages to get into a very selective school, I shouldn’t worry too much about him ‘coping with the academics’ because it will be addressed via the sets and he will still have a great time?
This may seem obvious to most but I wasn’t educated in the uk so feel like I’m on the back foot in that sense so thank you for flagging that.
DS isn’t obsessed with any of the ‘big 3’ sports but will go along with them for the social aspect - slight preference for cricket. Loves ski racing*, squash, swimming, target shooting, sailing and recently, riding. Takes piano and voice lessons and in non-selective school choir. Always up for drama and music performances and poetry competitions. Also a good runner. Academically curious in most subjects. I guess probably a solid all-rounder :)
Any thoughts on Charterhouse and Bradfield College?

OP, your DC sounds like a lovely boy but I think you need to do your own research by visiting schools and asking them questions directly about compulsory sports, or talk to an agency who has this data already; they seem pricey but will be able to help you narrow your options down. We did a taster with one of these agencies at the time, but decided to pull out after the first session as we found them too pricey (and we were also curious to discover the schools for ourselves), but we massively underestimated the amount of time that goes into doing your own primary research and preparing the applications. We were also v skeptical of the recommendation that was given as a "first choice school". We were then showered with offers (DS turned out to be top percentile, IQ 130+) and two years (and 100s of hours of own research) later, we accepted an offer from the exact same school which was mentioned by the agency first after having a quick 20min chat with my son.
Bottom line is, they know what they are doing, they see kids all the time and can better gauge at that age - we parents had no idea of his character at the tender age of 10, but somehow the agency spotted it well - so it's definitely worth it!

However it appears to me that the sports you listed are more like hobbies and not competitive (other than skiing) so he would be considered more of an all rounder, in which case perhaps sport and music is less of a consideration. Make sure cricket is offered as a main sport though, shooting and equestrian are relatively rare (Eton, Wellington, Winchester, Harrow) and skiing is only offered as a school trip in the UK so no inter-school competitions. What is certain is that he definitely seems to be more on the humanities side, so would probably not be so happy in STEM leaning highly academic schools, thereby Tonbridge or Perse should be off your list.

Have you considered The King's School Canterbury? It is also humanities leaning (just like Eton, but less selective), with amazing facilities and really nice kids and very good in music, drama and poetry. Great choirs too, squash, swimming, sailing are all there, apart from equestrian and target shooting. Still fairly decent in terms of Oxbridge numbers in a friendly atmosphere and good pastoral care in an amazing city which I think is also important for the higher years.

@SchoolMama , I have a ds at Hampton and Wellington, Tonbridge and Harrow are all boarding options that I know ds at Hampton have either considered or ds have gone to instead. I would visit all 4 and add in Epsom and Charterhouse. I agree Cranleigh is a level below academically. I would also suggest you drill down with your ds re sport as boarding schools allocate so much time to sport.

Hampton sounds perfect for your ds where the full curriculum is well supported, the music is amazing and lots of drama productions often joint with local schools. There are less sporty options if you ds doesn't want football or rugby and lots of cricket.

Great suggestions from others on the thread and I would throw in Radley, Sherborne, Pangbourne, Uppingham and Shiplake to visit and see what you think which I don't think have been mentioned yet. (Sherborne and Uppingham might be too far away for you but worth considering). These would be as less competitive and less hot house alternatives.

Also don't worry too much about what Atom Learning is saying about the ISEB practice test scores. I'm convinced they lowball the scores so parents panic and then upgrade their subscriptions to get more practice tests etc!

@SchoolMama i know nothing about boarding schools but I also have ski racing children! Many of the schools do have ski teams - I’ve seen them at schools events but it’s never going to be one of their top offerings so if that’s important then it will have to be one of your specific questions. They don’t seem to take kids to non schools events though so that’s where your weekly rather than full boarding will come in so that you get the pleasure of trekking round the UK dry slopes during your weekends!

Wow - thank you all so much! @Floreathlon: thanks for highlighting the importance of sports. I don’t think I’d understood quite what a big part of the overall mix they were. DS has a great attitude about them and does alright but unlikely to be A team. So agree we should go for a cricket school. @Muchtoomuchtodo: Ski racing is more DS’s passion and I’ve been asking specifically about that on visits. Not many people know about the inter-school events but the child seem excited when I mention it. I think you’re right that it could tip the balance in favour of weekly boarding so that he could still train on Sundays but obviously it’s a massive bonus if the school offers some sort of training support and time off alongside it. @Xiaoxiong - thank you, I agree I probably need to look further afield and your suggestions seem like a great place to start. @redrobin75 thanks for your perspective. I’m keen to see Epsom (really great at supporting ski racing) and Charterhouse as they may well strike that balance. Have seen the other 4 and great schools (Wellington and Harrow both support ski racing) so will likely put them down but as they’re so competitive I also want some safer options. Does anyone have any insight into Bradfield College? It’s recently come on my radar.

Yes I know Bradfield - our son's prep school headmaster has two boys there (so must rate it!) It's a nice school, their main sports for boys are football (michaelmas)/hockey (lent)/cricket (summer) so no rugby at all I believe. They also keep all the Year 9s together in one house for the first year which is also a bit different. But not top flight academic hothouse and I'm not sure how much performing arts is going on, I think it's very sporty.

If he is a skier Reeds
https://www.reeds.surrey.sch.uk/669/individual-sports/second_subject/6/academy-sport-ski-racing

On Tonbridge, contrary to some other comments, the big team sports are not all compulsory. In the first term of novi (year 9) yes rugby is compulsory but thereafter every term the boys have a choice.
And they do not have to do big team sports - there is a wide range available including shooting which someone mentioned as being more of a "hobby".
I strongly suggest you visit an open morning or arrange a private visit of the schools you are considering so that you can ask your questions directly, properly get a feel for the place, meet the boys and make your own mind up.
I have boys at Tonbridge, one very STEM, one more into humanities. One very into the big team sports, one much preferring independent, individual sports. Both have found their tribe and are very happy.

Thank you so much! Yes Reeds is on our list to visit @Mary19 and we have seen Tonbridge @StealthToddler and know a few who have gone there and liked it. My son is not averse to playing any of the usual team sports and I’d say Rugby and cricket are his favourite and the ones he’s best at (although still C/D team rather than A/B material) so having to play these is not a problem but on the other hand, he isn’t going to he’ll get into any school on the basis of his sporting performance :-)
I’m coming to the conclusion that he is intellectually good enough to get into these schools but as they are competitive we may need to apply to a few in order to hedge our bets. Seems most people are going for six. Any thoughts on whether that’s the right number? More? I might go and see Bradfield @Xiaoxiong Thanks again!

@Xiaoxiong you mention Uppingham, but not Oundle. Is there a reason behind that? We are planning to look at both schools for DS and DD and they look great on paper but have heard one might be a bit of a party school… we are overseas and I didn’t go to BS so the grapevine of info is a bit slow on this end. Grateful for any more insights you might have.

@Xiaoxiong was suggesting 'less competitive and less hot house' schools, and Oundle definitely wouldn't fit into that category! It's more academic than Uppingham.

Have a look at The Kings School in Canterbury.

Another vote for King’s Canterbury

Thanks so much for the response! Think I might have missed that bit in the thread.