Girls at 11+ vs 13+

[Nkad]

My daughter wants to go to boarding school at 13+ despite all the concerns people have expressed - assessments are lengthy, harder to get into the selective schools, girls would already have their friend groups, etc. I also noticed a few threads where girls have regretted going at 13+ because it took so much longer to adjust. I guess my question is whether it really is that bad to go later. Any success stories of entering at year 9 rather than year 7? Any particular schools in mind that integrate the new girls better (or those to avoid because they do not)? Thanks.

Can she not stay at her current school until 13 and then move to a school that only starts at 13?

My daughter boards at a small independent school in the north. In years 7 & 8 the numbers were really quite small, but Year 9 and especially this year into year 10, the numbers have doubled! Of course, there are some friendships that started in year 7, but there are so many new girls that no-one seems to be struggling to find friends (barring any usual problems).

I can't help with assessments though, the school my daughter goes to did entrance assessments for when she joined in year 7 rather than exams they had to pass and weren't accepted on academic ability rather whether they would fit in and thrive at the school. It's not an overly academic or sporty school though, we chose it for it's pastoral care as my daughter needs some extra help and is a bit sensitive due to bullying at primary school.

@saladnights yes, she can certainly stay where she is and does not have to go at all, if she wishes. However, I am just wondering whether it is really that difficult to join a school at 13 when most of her classmates started in year 7. Thanks!

@CatsAreCrackers thanks so much for the reassuring note. I am not concerned with assessments. My main concern is the social aspect of joining later than everyone and whether certain schools do a poor job of helping the newcomers integrate.

Sorry, I thought you meant a school with dual intake at 11 and 13, and whether the later joiners settle as well. But if they all start at 13, surely that's not an issue?

@saladnights my apologies. I must not have been clear. She is at a school now that goes up to sixth form, but is considering switching to one of the more selective all girls boarding schools that start at Year 7. However she wants to wait until Year 9 and we are just thinking about how difficult it will be for her to adjust later.

Got you. My question was, can you opt instead for a school that takes all of its boarders at 13 instead, if it's a concern?

Several girls schools have their main intake at 13, eg Sherborne Girls - maybe look into one of those if you are particularly worried?

@saladnights Unfortunately, my daughter wants to go to a few of those top girls schools that start at 11.
@Schoolbore Thanks for that tip! We have already registered for Sherborne Girls so that’s great to hear.

What about the coeds? Those are more likely to have all or lots of their intake at 13, eg Wellington.

@Nkad I went to a school like that at 11 and from my experience the 11 year olds struggled way more than the 13 year olds. Many of them cried for weeks.

The 13 year olds did have some of that too but not as much.

My school had a big 13+ intake which may have made a difference.

My daughter went to Sherborne Girls at 13 because I / she wasn’t ready for her to go at 11 and we never regretted it.

This is really interesting and helpful... A friend of mine is also keen for her DD to board from 13. Any further recommendations please for schools that have a big intake at 13 (or start at 13 only?) Girls only or Co-ed, either would be fine... Will have to go dig out the Good Schools guide!

Mostly comes of course. Look at destinations of girls from Godstowe at High Wycombe @KittyWithStripes The majority go at 13. In our day CLC and WA were big favourites but now girls go to many schools. They no doubt have great links with senior schools and girls seem to go at 13 quite happily.

There is a coed in my area which starts boarding in year 9: Sevenoaks School- ranked top co-Ed independent in Parent Power and 6th in country this year. But only does IB and also has day pupils.
my kids are in state schools but would have never sent until 13- better they develop physically first which many girls do in year 7 and 8.

Brighton College is pretty academic too. Slightly less academic but great co eds schools like Oundle and Kings Canterbury might also be worth a consideration.

Girls schools until 16/GCSEs are of course great, but I would always try and think ahead towards Sixth Form and pick a bigger school with 1000 pupils and ideally, new entrants into the Sixth Form too as it shakes things up in a good way. So so many girls are happy in girls schools until GCSE but then would probably have preferred co-ed after that. So personally I would pick a strong academic 13 plus co-ed. We were stuck with single sex grammars in our area but so happy they are mixed in the Sixth Form. University and life is co-ed.

A boarding girls school for 1000 is big. Many are smaller. Co Ed boarding nearly all start boarding at 13. Thru tend to be bigger.

IME, it's better to start with the majority of the cohort - whether that be at 11 or 13. It can be tricky to start at 13 if friendship groups have already been established in the two years previously (though friendships also change a lot, and new pupils can shake things up in a good way). You're best placed to know whether your DD would be resilient enough to join an established year group (though she wouldn't be the only one joining at 13: lots of parents choose to keep their DC at prep school until 13 - I did).

A more important factor IME is whether it's a full boarding school or a day/boarding school. Full boarding is better socially than day/boarding.

Commenting to bookmark as have a very similar question.

Just ask the school how many join in Year 9 versus the whole year group and work out which school offers the most opportunity for friendships?

If the school gives you reasonable answers as to how they incorporate girls at 13 (eg mixing up the classes), I’d be reasonably confident they mean it. It is their job to make sure your dd has a great school experience. It will help if she has something to bond over - eg being a likely A team player in some sport, orchestra, art etc.. Our dd stayed at her prep til 13 and subsequently has integrated well into an all girls school, including reconnecting with a few girls who left the prep at 11! Of your dd would need to change schools at 11 anyway then I think the advice would be different.