Do I even belong here?

IfItSings · 2024-12-14T00:02:41+00:00

Sorry in advance for a bit of a rambling post. My mother is half black and my dad is white, Growing up I always just saw myself as mixed. My mum is fairly dark skinned but I am very pale. I went to a predominantly black secondary school and was surprised when I was often described as white as I didn’t see myself that way. I was told that being quarter black meant I was basically just white. This was when I first realised that I didn’t look outwardly as I felt inside. I always connected deeply with black culture and sought it out but my mother seemed to reject it in a lot of ways (related to her complex upbringing) that confused me. Also, to me my mother looked black and was black so of course I wasn’t white. When I was in my early twenties I first heard the term ‘white-passing’ and it devastated me as it was used to describe me and the implication was that I was trying to benefit from being able to ‘blend in’. I had never felt this as I’ve never felt entirely comfortable in groups of white people. I moved away from a big city some years ago and now I work in a mainly white environment, my partner is white and almost all of my friends are white. I feel a deep longing to connect with my black heritage but I don’t know if this is even reasonable. Is it true that I’m basically just white? One of my children has darker skin than me and tight curls and looks more mixed than I do. One of my children is blonde. Do I raise them to think of themselves as white? Is it normal that makes me feel like they are other than me or somehow disconnected from me? Sorry if this is the wrong place to post, but I just hoped somebody may have some insight and I feel a bit safer posting here than elsewhere.

AMessAMess · 14/12/2024 01:12

i posted here i am mixed, 1/2 black and 1/2 white and was told i wasn't welcome on this board for not being fully black so hope you are more welcome than i was (my children are 3/4 black but not black enough 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Maggispice · 14/12/2024 03:45

I'm so sorry that this is the experience that you have and I'm shocked that a 1/2 black and 1/2 white person was asked not to post here. I hope others said it was fine for you to post.
I'm West African and I know to some I'm sometimes the wrong type of black but that's fine. I take my ethnic identity from my tribe not even my country so I don't have to be black. In fact I argue that we're not black, our skin is brown but when something is repeated again and again it ends up being taken as true. Many black Americans are from the Caribbean with no known connection to Africa but for selfish reasons someone started using the phrase all over the media and it caught on.

We live in an era when some say a man can be a woman, so who's to say you're not black or white?

@IfItSings Can you find out about your mother's origin? Then learn about the tribe, their folk tales, songs, good traditions etc.
You're both white and black but mostly white so you should learn that too, in fact especially so. Then try to give your children identify based on their surname and their parents families and if you're a person of faith, based on being made in the image of God.

ANagsHead · 14/12/2024 06:39

I always connected deeply with black culture and sought it out

I honestly don’t know what this means. Have you actually thought about what you think it means? Because it’s the sort of thing people write when they believe all black people are the same.

As @Maggispice suggests - ethnic identity and heritage is far more specific. I’m sure there’s nothing to prevent you burrowing into your mother’s heritage - is the Black section of her family linked to the Caribbean, or a country in Africa, or North or South America? Have you travelled to the relevant places and connected with any relatives you have there?

Original poster

IfItSings · 14/12/2024 08:36

AMessAMess · 14/12/2024 01:12

i posted here i am mixed, 1/2 black and 1/2 white and was told i wasn't welcome on this board for not being fully black so hope you are more welcome than i was (my children are 3/4 black but not black enough 🤷🏻‍♀️)

I’m sorry this happened.

OP posts:

Original poster

IfItSings · 14/12/2024 08:40

Maggispice · 14/12/2024 03:45

I'm so sorry that this is the experience that you have and I'm shocked that a 1/2 black and 1/2 white person was asked not to post here. I hope others said it was fine for you to post.
I'm West African and I know to some I'm sometimes the wrong type of black but that's fine. I take my ethnic identity from my tribe not even my country so I don't have to be black. In fact I argue that we're not black, our skin is brown but when something is repeated again and again it ends up being taken as true. Many black Americans are from the Caribbean with no known connection to Africa but for selfish reasons someone started using the phrase all over the media and it caught on.

We live in an era when some say a man can be a woman, so who's to say you're not black or white?

@IfItSings Can you find out about your mother's origin? Then learn about the tribe, their folk tales, songs, good traditions etc.
You're both white and black but mostly white so you should learn that too, in fact especially so. Then try to give your children identify based on their surname and their parents families and if you're a person of faith, based on being made in the image of God.

I’ve done ancestry testing but it’s very vague. My family are from a small Caribbean island but historically mainly Nigerian.

I feel like I know lots about being white but I’m not very settled with that part of myself having experienced racism, rejection and misunderstanding from my white side. My partner’s family are white and are very loving toward my children, so I’m hoping they feel more like they have a place they fit than I did/do.

OP posts:

Original poster

IfItSings · 14/12/2024 09:00

ANagsHead · 14/12/2024 06:39

I always connected deeply with black culture and sought it out

I honestly don’t know what this means. Have you actually thought about what you think it means? Because it’s the sort of thing people write when they believe all black people are the same.

As @Maggispice suggests - ethnic identity and heritage is far more specific. I’m sure there’s nothing to prevent you burrowing into your mother’s heritage - is the Black section of her family linked to the Caribbean, or a country in Africa, or North or South America? Have you travelled to the relevant places and connected with any relatives you have there?

I probably should’ve worded it differently. I definitely don’t think all black people are the same and I wouldn’t feel connected to certain people or traditions from other black ethnic groups as they wouldn’t apply to me, if that makes sense. I’ll try again. I feel like blackness in some form is an integral part of me and my identity and I wouldn’t feel comfortable rooting myself in being just white. It would feel like a rejection of myself and of my family. My family is more immediately Caribbean but has origins in Nigeria. I feel like I’ve had lots of opportunities to focus on my white side, as in white history, white church, white family, etc. It’s a small example but hopefully helps to explain: We never had any Caribbean food at home so I’d try any opportunity to eat it elsewhere as it reminded me of times when I got to see my extended family and felt like I had a place. It reminded me when I had a sense of belonging that I didn’t feel in a lot of other situations and places. It made me feel connected and that felt important to me.

A lot of my relatives are in the UK now. I have plans (saving up) to visit the island my family is from. I am doing work on Ancesty.com to try to find connections.

OP posts:

GretchenWienersHair · 14/12/2024 10:51

ANagsHead · 14/12/2024 06:39

I always connected deeply with black culture and sought it out

I honestly don’t know what this means. Have you actually thought about what you think it means? Because it’s the sort of thing people write when they believe all black people are the same.

As @Maggispice suggests - ethnic identity and heritage is far more specific. I’m sure there’s nothing to prevent you burrowing into your mother’s heritage - is the Black section of her family linked to the Caribbean, or a country in Africa, or North or South America? Have you travelled to the relevant places and connected with any relatives you have there?

I honestly don’t know what this means

Probably different things to different people, but to me it’s used when the African diaspora in whatever country we’re in have created a sub-culture of our own, such as Black British. It’s a new subculture in terms of longevity but very much have a distinct culture in itself. That’s not to say there aren’t other black cultures and communities within Britain, but there is definitely a Black culture within that. Just like in America - there is a distinct African American culture.

I do think your question is an interesting and relevant one, OP. I am also mixed and grew up very immersed in black British culture as well as the Caribbean culture that my heritage on my black side is from. I also grew up with my white side in equal measure. I think, as mixed race people, when we ask ourselves where we “belong” we tend to think in terms of culture, whereas the outside world tend to think in terms of physical attributes. For example, I definitely do not look black at all. I have very light beige skin (not even dark enough to be called “light brown” and wavy hair (not even coiled waves, just like an S pattern). I have my dad’s whole face - who was a dark skinned black man, but to look at, I am not black. However, my sense of humour, traditions, foods, artistic interests - all of the things that typically make up “culture” - are heavily influenced by black British, Afro-Caribbean and even African American culture. Not so much white British or any other white culture, despite growing up with both sides of my family. So culturally, I align with being black more.

So the question is what does “black” mean? If it’s physical features, then no, you are not black and neither am I. If it’s heritage and culture, then yes, we are.

Original poster

IfItSings · 14/12/2024 11:16

GretchenWienersHair · 14/12/2024 10:51

I honestly don’t know what this means

Probably different things to different people, but to me it’s used when the African diaspora in whatever country we’re in have created a sub-culture of our own, such as Black British. It’s a new subculture in terms of longevity but very much have a distinct culture in itself. That’s not to say there aren’t other black cultures and communities within Britain, but there is definitely a Black culture within that. Just like in America - there is a distinct African American culture.

I do think your question is an interesting and relevant one, OP. I am also mixed and grew up very immersed in black British culture as well as the Caribbean culture that my heritage on my black side is from. I also grew up with my white side in equal measure. I think, as mixed race people, when we ask ourselves where we “belong” we tend to think in terms of culture, whereas the outside world tend to think in terms of physical attributes. For example, I definitely do not look black at all. I have very light beige skin (not even dark enough to be called “light brown” and wavy hair (not even coiled waves, just like an S pattern). I have my dad’s whole face - who was a dark skinned black man, but to look at, I am not black. However, my sense of humour, traditions, foods, artistic interests - all of the things that typically make up “culture” - are heavily influenced by black British, Afro-Caribbean and even African American culture. Not so much white British or any other white culture, despite growing up with both sides of my family. So culturally, I align with being black more.

So the question is what does “black” mean? If it’s physical features, then no, you are not black and neither am I. If it’s heritage and culture, then yes, we are.

Show quote history

Thank you for sharing. You’ve explained it a lot better than I did. Maybe that’s part of what I’m after, exploring what it means to be black, at least in part. I don’t know if that’s something I can do on my own though.

OP posts:

GretchenWienersHair · 14/12/2024 11:29

@IfItSings it is definitely difficult to do alone, especially as there are so many variables. Each mixed race person will have different experiences of fitting into culture spaces based on factors like their physically appearance, affiliations to cultural elements, own upbringing, relationships with their families, etc., so there can’t be such thing as a “mixed race community” for us to bounce around in. Likewise, I can understand why some black people feel we don’t belong - black is a physical feature and a lot of mixed race people don’t fit the bill. I find my space in others who are immersed in the culture of Black Britain as opposed to specific heritage groups where I’m more of an outsider.

Do you have siblings? My sister and I started to have these conversations as we got older and both our shared and different perspectives have been helpful.

Original poster

IfItSings · 14/12/2024 12:50

I have a brother and we do have these conversations. He is dark skinned, so our lived experience is very different and he also lives in a lot more diverse part of the country so doesn’t feel so ‘other’. He has recently become more interested in our heritage though and once he gets hooked on a subject he becomes very knowledgeable about it, so he’s been telling me stories about the history of the island.

OP posts:

LadyKenya · 14/12/2024 13:31

AMessAMess · 14/12/2024 01:12

i posted here i am mixed, 1/2 black and 1/2 white and was told i wasn't welcome on this board for not being fully black so hope you are more welcome than i was (my children are 3/4 black but not black enough 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Not everybody feels the same way, of course. I believe that this board should be a place of support for anybody with African/ Caribbean heritage. To myself, that also includes white parents, of mixed race children, looking for advice. I read a book, a while ago called The mixed race experience by Naomie, and Natalie Evans. The book covers some of which you are experiencing, concerning fitting in etc, OP.

Original poster

IfItSings · 14/12/2024 13:38

LadyKenya · 14/12/2024 13:31

Not everybody feels the same way, of course. I believe that this board should be a place of support for anybody with African/ Caribbean heritage. To myself, that also includes white parents, of mixed race children, looking for advice. I read a book, a while ago called The mixed race experience by Naomie, and Natalie Evans. The book covers some of which you are experiencing, concerning fitting in etc, OP.

Show quote history

Thank you. That’s the second time I’ve had that book recommended recently, so I’m going to order it.

OP posts:

GretchenWienersHair · 14/12/2024 13:55

Mixed/Other by Natalie Morris is also a good book.

Maggispice · 19/12/2024 00:21

IfItSings · 14/12/2024 08:40

I’ve done ancestry testing but it’s very vague. My family are from a small Caribbean island but historically mainly Nigerian.

I feel like I know lots about being white but I’m not very settled with that part of myself having experienced racism, rejection and misunderstanding from my white side. My partner’s family are white and are very loving toward my children, so I’m hoping they feel more like they have a place they fit than I did/do.

Show quote history

You're unique in your own identity. You can pick good attributes of all the cultures that flow in your genes.
With respect to cuisine, you can begin by making the simple meals generally enjoyed in those cultures eg rice and (beans) peas with curry, fried plantain, Nigerian fried rice and jollof rice. These are easy and straight forward to make. You can start with visiting popular restaurants like Pitanga or Enish , then follow recipes online.
With respect to fictional literature you could read Things Fall Apart, Arrow of God, The Trouble With Nigeria, No Longer at Ease etc by Chinua Achebe. Trails of Brother Jero by Wole Soyinka. Americanah, Half of a Yellow Sun, The Thing Around Your Neck, Purple Hibiscus etc by Chimamanda, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives etc. You can even just start with short videos that analyse them or listen to them on Audible.
Depending on your children's age you could read some of these as a family and at least share this post with your brother. More options on this page https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/nigerian-authors-you-should-read
Do you know what tribe the ancestry result says you have links to? If you do, I can give you more specific information.
You could also listen to some of Fela and Onyeka Onwenu's music for example.
The fact however remains that you are mostly White and there's nothing wrong with that. Enjoy all that you are bestowed with. If you wish to travel to the Caribbean and Africa do it because you wish to explore and enjoy it. However, some destinations are not tourist destinations and you shouldn't go alone or without meeting a trusted person there, so do your due diligence. Also, girth your mind and be aware that some on those continents will tell you to your face that you are White. Don't take it against them, own it. Say yes, you're mainly White but you also have "Caribbean & Nigerian blood" so you wish to learn about them.

There's an American sitcom called Bob Hearts Abishola. It's not available in the UK but years ago some of us on this forum contacted Gina Yashere and she gave us two websites from which we were able to watch all the series as they were commissioned each year. I don't have them to hand but if you contact her I'm sure she'll give you a link. It's about a Nigerian immigrant who married a White American. It's a fun sitcom to watch.
You're welcome to PM me if you want me to look for them or there're peculiar issues you wish to discuss in private and I'll be more than happy to help you.

Some will say that you should simply look to align your self with what is referred to as "Black British Culture". I don't advice that at all, especially if you and or they can't identify what that means.

I recommend you read Race and Culture, Migrations and Cultures, Intellectuals and Race, Black Rednecks and White Liberals, The Vision of The Anointed etc; these are by Thomas Sowell.

Elfie111 · 19/12/2024 00:34

Maggispice · 19/12/2024 00:21

You're unique in your own identity. You can pick good attributes of all the cultures that flow in your genes.
With respect to cuisine, you can begin by making the simple meals generally enjoyed in those cultures eg rice and (beans) peas with curry, fried plantain, Nigerian fried rice and jollof rice. These are easy and straight forward to make. You can start with visiting popular restaurants like Pitanga or Enish , then follow recipes online.
With respect to fictional literature you could read Things Fall Apart, Arrow of God, The Trouble With Nigeria, No Longer at Ease etc by Chinua Achebe. Trails of Brother Jero by Wole Soyinka. Americanah, Half of a Yellow Sun, The Thing Around Your Neck, Purple Hibiscus etc by Chimamanda, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives etc. You can even just start with short videos that analyse them or listen to them on Audible.
Depending on your children's age you could read some of these as a family and at least share this post with your brother. More options on this page https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/nigerian-authors-you-should-read
Do you know what tribe the ancestry result says you have links to? If you do, I can give you more specific information.
You could also listen to some of Fela and Onyeka Onwenu's music for example.
The fact however remains that you are mostly White and there's nothing wrong with that. Enjoy all that you are bestowed with. If you wish to travel to the Caribbean and Africa do it because you wish to explore and enjoy it. However, some destinations are not tourist destinations and you shouldn't go alone or without meeting a trusted person there, so do your due diligence. Also, girth your mind and be aware that some on those continents will tell you to your face that you are White. Don't take it against them, own it. Say yes, you're mainly White but you also have "Caribbean & Nigerian blood" so you wish to learn about them.

There's an American sitcom called Bob Hearts Abishola. It's not available in the UK but years ago some of us on this forum contacted Gina Yashere and she gave us two websites from which we were able to watch all the series as they were commissioned each year. I don't have them to hand but if you contact her I'm sure she'll give you a link. It's about a Nigerian immigrant who married a White American. It's a fun sitcom to watch.
You're welcome to PM me if you want me to look for them or there're peculiar issues you wish to discuss in private and I'll be more than happy to help you.

Some will say that you should simply look to align your self with what is referred to as "Black British Culture". I don't advice that at all, especially if you and or they can't identify what that means.

I recommend you read Race and Culture, Migrations and Cultures, Intellectuals and Race, Black Rednecks and White Liberals, The Vision of The Anointed etc; these are by Thomas Sowell.

Show quote history

Loveliest post ever. Some wonderful, beautiful advice. Makes me happy and proud ♥️

Maggispice · 19/12/2024 00:53

@IfItSings I forgot to mention another very important author, Buchi Emecheta. Second Class Citizen, The Joys of Motherhood and The Slave Girl. Please your hands on these. You can compile a list and email your library, they will source them for you.

LadyKenya · 19/12/2024 09:31

I have read In the ditch, by Buchi Emecheta, and found her writing style to be so easy to fall into, what I mean is, I found myself so absorbed in the book, and the way in which she describes everyday life for the characters in the story, she brings them to life. Her own story is one of accomplishment, and strength, in quite trying circumstances.

Rosesanddaffs · 19/12/2024 09:41

@IfItSings I’m half Indian and Spanish and my husband is half English and Greek.

I’ve often noticed people look at me and then my daughter and the look on their face is almost like “is she yours” I had this reaction quite a lot when she was a baby.

My daughter is very pale and has golden hair, I am darker.

I let her embrace all 4 cultures, people might often think I’m not Spanish or Indian as I’m half of each but I can speak both languages and have grown up celebrating both cultures and that’s what I want for my daughter.

Ignore how people see you, you have the best of both worlds and can embrace it all xx

Original poster

IfItSings · 22/12/2024 20:27

Maggispice · 19/12/2024 00:21

You're unique in your own identity. You can pick good attributes of all the cultures that flow in your genes.
With respect to cuisine, you can begin by making the simple meals generally enjoyed in those cultures eg rice and (beans) peas with curry, fried plantain, Nigerian fried rice and jollof rice. These are easy and straight forward to make. You can start with visiting popular restaurants like Pitanga or Enish , then follow recipes online.
With respect to fictional literature you could read Things Fall Apart, Arrow of God, The Trouble With Nigeria, No Longer at Ease etc by Chinua Achebe. Trails of Brother Jero by Wole Soyinka. Americanah, Half of a Yellow Sun, The Thing Around Your Neck, Purple Hibiscus etc by Chimamanda, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives etc. You can even just start with short videos that analyse them or listen to them on Audible.
Depending on your children's age you could read some of these as a family and at least share this post with your brother. More options on this page https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/nigerian-authors-you-should-read
Do you know what tribe the ancestry result says you have links to? If you do, I can give you more specific information.
You could also listen to some of Fela and Onyeka Onwenu's music for example.
The fact however remains that you are mostly White and there's nothing wrong with that. Enjoy all that you are bestowed with. If you wish to travel to the Caribbean and Africa do it because you wish to explore and enjoy it. However, some destinations are not tourist destinations and you shouldn't go alone or without meeting a trusted person there, so do your due diligence. Also, girth your mind and be aware that some on those continents will tell you to your face that you are White. Don't take it against them, own it. Say yes, you're mainly White but you also have "Caribbean & Nigerian blood" so you wish to learn about them.

There's an American sitcom called Bob Hearts Abishola. It's not available in the UK but years ago some of us on this forum contacted Gina Yashere and she gave us two websites from which we were able to watch all the series as they were commissioned each year. I don't have them to hand but if you contact her I'm sure she'll give you a link. It's about a Nigerian immigrant who married a White American. It's a fun sitcom to watch.
You're welcome to PM me if you want me to look for them or there're peculiar issues you wish to discuss in private and I'll be more than happy to help you.

Some will say that you should simply look to align your self with what is referred to as "Black British Culture". I don't advice that at all, especially if you and or they can't identify what that means.

I recommend you read Race and Culture, Migrations and Cultures, Intellectuals and Race, Black Rednecks and White Liberals, The Vision of The Anointed etc; these are by Thomas Sowell.

Show quote history

Thank you for such a detailed and thought out response. I appreciate it and it’s really touched my heart. I will work my way through your suggestions. I love cooking but when I have tried to replicate Caribbean or African cuisine I can never get it to taste quite right. I feel like that’s something you learn from your family and one of the things I feel I have missed out on.

OP posts:

Original poster

IfItSings · 22/12/2024 20:28

Rosesanddaffs · 19/12/2024 09:41

@IfItSings I’m half Indian and Spanish and my husband is half English and Greek.

I’ve often noticed people look at me and then my daughter and the look on their face is almost like “is she yours” I had this reaction quite a lot when she was a baby.

My daughter is very pale and has golden hair, I am darker.

I let her embrace all 4 cultures, people might often think I’m not Spanish or Indian as I’m half of each but I can speak both languages and have grown up celebrating both cultures and that’s what I want for my daughter.

Ignore how people see you, you have the best of both worlds and can embrace it all xx

I do wish I could feel more settled in myself and my internal identity rather than looking for approval elsewhere. I think it’s just a desire to belong.

OP posts:

Sunisshiningweatherissweet2 · 24/12/2024 22:46

ANagsHead · 14/12/2024 06:39

I always connected deeply with black culture and sought it out
I honestly don’t know what this means. Have you actually thought about what you think it means? Because it’s the sort of thing people write when they believe all black people are the same

As a black woman, I know EXACTLY what it means, as do most of my family. Personally, it means that I feel SAFER and more understood around people my hue. Nothing to do at all with me thinking that black people are all the same. FFS! 🎅

Sunisshiningweatherissweet2 · 24/12/2024 22:50

Anagshead apologies. You are not the poster that my previous message was directed at. It was IfItSinfs. Apols, again.

fishyrumour · 24/12/2024 23:12

IfItSings · 22/12/2024 20:28

I do wish I could feel more settled in myself and my internal identity rather than looking for approval elsewhere. I think it’s just a desire to belong.

Show quote history

I completely get the wanting to belong thing. It's the natural desire for kinship/twinship I think.

I am confused in a different way in that my mother was white and my father ethnically diverse. Both my siblings are more white passing than me. My issue is that I don't really belong to any racial or cultural group that has the same experience as me. I have experienced racism but I can't share that with anyone who would understand because I'm not black or Indian or Arabic. It's like being the only member of my species. If I were one of those I feel I could identify with their experiences and cultural struggles. As it is there is nothing to root myself to.

Not sure if that resonates OP but it's how I imagine it feels to feel black but be labelled white.

UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 24/12/2024 23:21

Also mixed race. We don't really belong in either camp (or we do when we do and we don't when we don't if you know what I mean.)

But that's also the beauty of it. We aren't one or the other, but both. That is what makes us us.

It's like mixing blue and green. You aren't blue or green but you're own thing. ❤

iwishihadaname · 24/12/2024 23:47

Maggispice · 19/12/2024 00:21

You're unique in your own identity. You can pick good attributes of all the cultures that flow in your genes.
With respect to cuisine, you can begin by making the simple meals generally enjoyed in those cultures eg rice and (beans) peas with curry, fried plantain, Nigerian fried rice and jollof rice. These are easy and straight forward to make. You can start with visiting popular restaurants like Pitanga or Enish , then follow recipes online.
With respect to fictional literature you could read Things Fall Apart, Arrow of God, The Trouble With Nigeria, No Longer at Ease etc by Chinua Achebe. Trails of Brother Jero by Wole Soyinka. Americanah, Half of a Yellow Sun, The Thing Around Your Neck, Purple Hibiscus etc by Chimamanda, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives etc. You can even just start with short videos that analyse them or listen to them on Audible.
Depending on your children's age you could read some of these as a family and at least share this post with your brother. More options on this page https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/nigerian-authors-you-should-read
Do you know what tribe the ancestry result says you have links to? If you do, I can give you more specific information.
You could also listen to some of Fela and Onyeka Onwenu's music for example.
The fact however remains that you are mostly White and there's nothing wrong with that. Enjoy all that you are bestowed with. If you wish to travel to the Caribbean and Africa do it because you wish to explore and enjoy it. However, some destinations are not tourist destinations and you shouldn't go alone or without meeting a trusted person there, so do your due diligence. Also, girth your mind and be aware that some on those continents will tell you to your face that you are White. Don't take it against them, own it. Say yes, you're mainly White but you also have "Caribbean & Nigerian blood" so you wish to learn about them.

There's an American sitcom called Bob Hearts Abishola. It's not available in the UK but years ago some of us on this forum contacted Gina Yashere and she gave us two websites from which we were able to watch all the series as they were commissioned each year. I don't have them to hand but if you contact her I'm sure she'll give you a link. It's about a Nigerian immigrant who married a White American. It's a fun sitcom to watch.
You're welcome to PM me if you want me to look for them or there're peculiar issues you wish to discuss in private and I'll be more than happy to help you.

Some will say that you should simply look to align your self with what is referred to as "Black British Culture". I don't advice that at all, especially if you and or they can't identify what that means.

I recommend you read Race and Culture, Migrations and Cultures, Intellectuals and Race, Black Rednecks and White Liberals, The Vision of The Anointed etc; these are by Thomas Sowell.

Show quote history

I’ve seen clips of this show on YouTube it’s very good acting and scripted