Embarrassed to admit this...

[Waddleido]

I'm mid 50s, mixed black and white. All my long term relationships have been with white men. I recently met up with someone who happens to be black that I knew in my teens and was so intensely attracted, the feeling was mutual but he's not local and isn't available, he said he wants to get back with his ex. I think he's only dated white women but we shared kisses and chatted all night. I'm happily single but he ticks all my boxes. It felt great to just see someone and feel that instant spark and receive so many compliments from him.

My ex who I share two children with has been radicalised and is now anti Muslim. Honestly, he used to say there should be no borders but now he's sharing Tommy Robinson stuff. If I do ever date in future I just want to date someone non white now.

I look much younger than my age and I think all the guys I would be attracted to in my age group would only date younger women. I'm very happy pleasing myself now my children are adults, I feel like it would be very slim pickings at my age now if I went back to OLD 🤣

The title is misleading, I meant I'm embarrassed that I've only just got round to flirting with and making eyes at a gorgeous black man.

It's not clear what you're seeking advice on exactly. Is it how to deal with your radical ex, or how to pursue the new guy? Some black people date white because that's whose in their circle of acquaintances depending on where they live or work. Now you've met a black guy from somewhere else and you like him. If you think there's a chance, keep up the communication. His ex might not want him back and he'll have to move on. Why not with you? 🙂

I'm not really after advice, my ex and a more recent ex have kind of put me off dating white men. The more recent ex has a few family members are bigoted. I just want to protect myself from racists.

I think I'm just shocked more than anything that I like this guy so much. I'm just content to crush on him for now, if he comes back here when mutual friends organise a meet up I'll see how the land lies 🤣

But you just said he has a preference for white women? Why would you be embarrassed at all. I think if there was a spark surely you could ask him out on a date or maybe he will.

I'm not entirely sure, but his kids are mixed race, maybe like me he just hadn't met anyone non white that he felt a spark with. From what he was saying he was definitely attracted but he was clear about wanting to get back with his ex.