Hair relaxer - carcinogenic

[notanaturalmum]

I'm in a bit of a quandary.
Has anybody been following these stories.

www.bumc.bu.edu/camed/2023/10/11/first-large-study-of-hair-relaxers-among-black-women-finds-increased-risk-of-uterine-cancer/

www.theguardian.com/society/2023/apr/21/loreal-urged-to-withdraw-hair-relaxers-after-studies-find-cancer-risk

Here's the thing.
I've been using dark and lovely about 5/6 times a year on average for the past 35 years. I like having relaxed hair. I feel smarter with it (I know this is sad but I guess this is due to years of believing the narrative that natural afros are unprofessional )
We are where we are.

Now, I'm not sure I can just stop having relaxed hair and go natural to reduce my risk of getting cancer.
If I continue to relax my hair and I end up getting ill then I'm always going to wonder if it was the relaxer that caused it.
But if I stop, then what am I going to do with my hair going forward. I don't want to wear wigs or weaves and wearing it natural isn't an option.

How seriously should I be taking these news articles. Is anybody else worried?

I appreciate this may be a first world problem but I'm due to relax my hair soon and I'm now having second thoughts about it.
But also my hair is well overdue and currently I'm just scraping it back in a bun with a massive headband and hoping nobody will see my regrowth.

Please be kind.

If you don't want to keep relaxing your hair, not wear wigs or weaves, then plaits or twists are your only option, though I'm guessing you don't want them either.

I was born in the 80's and brought up relaxing my hair, but stopped about 15 years ago, when I first started hearing these kinds of stories. There hasn't been a huge amount of research to prove significant enough links, but I'd rather not risk it.

I was at my hairdressers last week, and she said she can count the number of relaxers which she does in one week, so they are also
much less popular these days than in the past.

I work in a senior level finance job, have friends who are bankers, solicitors and doctors, and don't know anyone who still relaxes their hair. All my friends are either natural, have plaits, twists or sister locs. I'd actually love to get sister locs, but I don't like how they look when they are first started.

My short Afro hair is in the best condition ever, whereas when it was relaxed it was thin, constantly breaking and looked awful. If you want my advice, my view is let the relaxer go.

How seriously should I be taking these news articles. Is anybody else worried?

I think that any black woman who is relaxing their hair regularly should be taking this information very seriously. I stopped relaxing my hair years ago, before really being aware of the dangers, because I was fed up with trying to make my thin, limp, breaking hair look good. It got to the stage where it was making me question why I was paying so much money for it, just to be worn back in a bun most of the time. I just stopped relaxing it, and started getting extensions put in instead. There are lots of options other than relaxing the hair. My hair is natural, and I could never consider that not being an option. It sounds like, as a pp said, you have some unpicking to do. I recommend reading Dont touch my hair by Emma Dabiri.

I hear you all about the unpicking.
But I've looked the way I've looked for so long - it just feels like a massive change.
I did an actual big chop - think Candice Brathwaite during the first lockdown and it was okay, and I liked it.
But then by Xmas it was at the TWA stage and I didn't feel like me anymore so I relaxed it and carried on as normal.
So I'm not averse to it but the idea of it being permanent just seems so alien to me.

I feel like I don't have the time to lean into long wash days, thousands of products, and general hair upkeep so I worry my hair is just going to look like I don't know what I'm doing.

Argh I'm so torn.
Thankyou for your advice though

What needs a long wash day and thousands of products?

My Afro is about 2 inches long so TWA stage.

I wash it weekly with shampoo and conditioner. On a daily basis I usually spritz and moisturise then comb, which takes about 5 minutes.

Every 3-4 months I go for a deep condition and trim at the salon.

I can assure you that maintaining a relaxer, and daily styling is much much more work than looking after your natural hair.

Posted too soon!

There's also lots of YouTube videos you can watch to learn, it really isn't hard.

The most difficult thing will be changing your mindset and feelings around natural Afro hair, which may require some therapy to uncover, acknowledge and accept what's really going on.

Good luck!

@notanaturalmum You most likely feel overwhelmed at the thought of having to care for your hair in its natural state, because it is unfamiliar to you. There really is not a need for a lot of products, once you work out how to care for your hair. I use nothing, but for example, black soap to wash my hair,(a bar lasts for ages) whatever conditioner is in the house, and finally I use a homemade sheabutter mix, which I rub into my hair. Job done. At the moment my hair is very short, so of course I acknowledge that it is very easy to take care of. But even when it was longer, I would use an afro comb to detangle when showering, do all the aforementioned, and then just plait into a few braids, and then cover with a hair scarf. I would normally wear my hair in a puff, with a hair band. Once I had got a routine going, it really was not difficult to maintain. But, I had to learn, and the good thing is that there is so much information available to us now, from books, to youtube.

I gave up relaxing my hair about 6 years ago because of the breakage and the maintenance. My hair was so thin and would break so easily. I could never achieve a good length and thickness now matter how many good products I tried. During pregnancy I stopped relaxing my hair because I was worried and my hair was so thick and strong. It was a stark difference after that first relaxer after a a year when most of it broke off.

I was and still am in love with my children’s hair in its natural state and the longer it grows I began to wonder why I couldn’t apply the same love to my own natural hair. In addition, the stories about the dangers of the chemicals and what it was doing to my body as result kept coming up and nagging at me, so I stopped and never looked back.

It was a long process to stop relaxing I learned to get comfortable with wigs and weaves as my regrowth came and as it grew back after the big chop. It took time, lots of deep reflection and watching SO many YouTube videos, but I am finally in a place where I love my natural hair and wouldn’t ever put something so toxic in my hair.

As black women, we have been brainwashed by eurocentric ideologies into believing our natural hair isn’t good enough. And it will take some time and deep inner work to believe that your hair is good enough just as it grows out of your head, but as I say - it’s a journey.

Although there aren’t lots of studies, I believe there is enough valid anecdotal evidence and experience that shows relaxers have no place anywhere near our hair!

Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, it is a process but you and your hair deserve it!

@Supamum3 exactly this.
I have been brainwashed. Although I think a lot of this could be from my own parents- my mum always used to tell me my hair was messy and still to this day, I always get stressed about my hair when I go see her. She's 75 and had regular curly perms up until Covid. I know she'd have something to say if I went natural.

And it's weird because I'm the same as you with my DD who has been blessed with multiple curl patterns on her head, and whilst I struggle with her hair, I always tell her that her hair is beautiful and am very positive about her curls.
So she's embracing it and I copy all the hairstyles that we see on Instagram for mixed race kids. So far so good. I'm making a conscious effort for her not to go the same way as me.

For me though - it's definitely going to be a journey, I just need to get on with it.

There is no more powerful message that can be conveyed to black children, regarding their hair, than black mothers wearing their natural hair. My mother has done everything to her hair, bar wearing wigs/weaves. She is natural now, and when I first saw her hair like that, I honestly wondered why on earth she used to relax it. My hair is a different texture to hers. You will get support on here, if you need it OP.

@notanaturalmum
I have been natural, relaxed, textured, tried wigs, braids with extensions etc. quite frankly the effort and cost of all those is much higher than wearing my hair natural.

It has never taken me all day to wash my natural hair. It may take all day to dry if I don't apply some heat to it but that's about it.

For context I work in financial services and all the other black women I see are natural with braids, twists, short cuts, extensions or locs. V v few with relaxers, and mostly of my mother's generation (late 50s/60s).

Instead of doing a big chop, why don't you do a long transition? Put the back in braids/twists, and cornrow the front. Looks neat, not too heavy and something you can do until your natural hair is long enough to twist independently. Sounds like the TWA stage is not for you, maybe this will help you with the change over?

Another thought, I use Pinterest a lot for inspiration on hair styles, there is so much on there. Maybe build your own board to maintain enthusiasm, you could even include your daughter if she is the right age.

Below an example of what I was talking about for the long transition, although I wouldn't have them that long, just to shoulder length or bra strap but I'm tender headed. Good luck and keep us posted

https://pin.it/62kCQu9yH

Thank you! I was coming to comment on fibroids.

I appreciate this may be a first world problem but I'm due to relax my hair soon and I'm now having second thoughts about it.

OP It isn't just a first world problem. Relaxers are used whether they are black people.

I had natural hair before it was fashionable. I went to a family get together with a couple of generations of women in my family. One of my sisters decided to pick on my hair as it wasn't relaxed. Response by the older women was to tell her to pipe down. They had suffered having to have their hair in certain styles to get a job and a few had issues with hair styles at school.

This is one of the reasons why I have posted on here cases of children with natural hair being picked on by their schools for their hair styles including being suspended and then pushed out.

OP - I had been unsure about stopping using relaxers for a couple of years but when lockdown happened and I damaged my hair after using a home relaxer kit, I decided I should stop with the creamy crack!

It's been over 2 years since a relaxer has touched my hair and I'm still on my learning curve, as I had been using relaxers for over 25 years, but my hair has grown so much and its healthiest it's been. YouTube has been godsend with really useful tutorials, especially as my curl pattern has changed whilst I have been going through my hair transition. I have been switching between protective twists and extension braids and I can't see myself going back to a relaxer.

Good luck!

I'm sorry guys I'm really struggling. I've bought no end of conditioners and oils and my hair just doesn't look right.
I've got it in two buns right now as I'm due in the office and it just looks a disaster.
I will gel the front so it looks less poofy but I just don't like the feeling of all this product in my hair.
It just doesn't look like me.
I can't comb it properly, it's knotty and I can't imagine what this would be like if my whole head was this consistency.
I will persevere till the weekend but I think I'm going to end up relaxing it again.
Sorry if that's not what you want to hear. I just don't feel like myself without the hair that I'm used to seeing.

I can feel your frustration and desperation coming through your words

It probably seems overwhelming because you're not used to doing it; please look to see if there any hairdressers near you that you can visit at the weekend to help you with your natural hair. It WILL get easier.

That is a good suggestion from Starseeking. They will be able to help you, especially if they care for natural hair as well. It really is just a case of finding a routine, and a couple of styles for ease.

Do you think I should get a steam. I'm worried I may get talked into a big chop

Look into a keratin treatment or a texture release. They are semi permanent treatments lasting around 4 months. Better and healthier than relaxers

A steam, and a trim would help with making the hair more pliable for styling, and help with the health of your hair. Keep looking at youtube for inspiration, of women who are transitioning.

I went natural about 10 years ago following the Chris rock documentary. I don't think I even watched it, I just heard about the fibroid thing and stopped. I had fibroids at the time.

After that my perception changed and I realised why I was relaxing it in the first place was to try and make my face fit. So I then gave up all the long silky weaves too.
It was very very hard and I can't say I didn't feel 'ugly' at first.
I've never gone back although I can't resist a naturally textured Afro thickness weave but I've learned to accept I just like long hair 🤷🏾‍♀️

The re growth is the worst. You have to push through and cut that off too. Then you get your actual hair texture back

Black Women's hair is policed to the enth anyway, so I'm unsure about this. I remember 'No Relaxers!' being the cry of a certain type of man on social media, mostly those who exist to criticise us and wouldn't be seen dead with a natural-haired woman, but pretend to be more 'conscious' than everybody else. Has there been any valid research on this, any statistics on Black Women killed by hair relaxers?

I must admit I worry more about what living in a heavily polluted country and eating starchy/salty/processed foods, smoking and drinking does to the health.

I've worn my hair natural for many years now. I still don't find it easy to manage at all. Yes Ive been to very good hairdressers who deal only with natural hair. I look great when I come out. I use the products. But there is absolutely no product which can prevent my hair shrinking in the rain, or when I get hot, or Im at a busy event. If there were, the inventor would be rich 100 times over. Like you OP I dont want my hair loaded down with product and I especially don't want to use any gel. Gel breaks my hair.

I wear braid extensions or braid wigs when I dont want the hair struggle. My hair is much easier to manage when Im in Caribbean as better atmosphere and softer water.

Lately I've been rolling my eyes at Instagram posts with women showing off their natural afros and extolling the joys of going natural. With their soft texture hair. I have very thick, 4c hair that tangles into clumps easily. Their hair isn't like mine at all so I dont want to hear what they have to say. They don't get it. I do love when women lox their hair and are good at putting it into a variety of different styles. So I think i'll lox this year. Is this something you'd consider?

I agree with you @DeeCeeCherry
When i had a TWA after lockdown I became so frustrated that my hair didn't look like any of the women on my Pinterest board. My hair is just normal 4c I think but it required so much product to make it look like it was in any sort of style.
It made me think that clip from coming to America where the 3 aunties get up from the sofa.

Being honest, I didn't feel very pretty. I don't wear a lot of make up generally and having an afro just made me feel like I wasn't making an effort with my appearance. I know that's not the case for the posters on here but I hope that some of you were a little apprehensive at the start.

I live in a northern city - at work the other black girls (all 3 of them) are all in the mid 20s with weaves and wigs.
The other 2 black mums at school; one has a TWA but only in between her braid styles.
The other is mixed race so her hair is a bit longer and more pliable.
My sisters - one is braids for life, one is wigs. I've not seen them show their real hair outside the house in years.
I guess what I'm saying is for me to be comfortable I need to see real life people walking around with their natural hair. Even though I'm relaxed I think I'm the only person I know who shows my real hair.
I can't think of anybody else I know apart from my cousin but she's a model and she's beautiful and can rock any style. She was in the John Lewis Xmas ad a couple of years back.
I just need real World inspiration I think.
I'll get a steam at the weekend and go from there.

Thankyou for your help x