HELP Looking for a private school in SE London starting for reception

[VictoriaOGU]

Hi, currently in the process of looking for a private school for my 3.5 year old boy, feeling very overwhelmed as there are so many things to consider!

I feel like Habits learned during the earliest years can have a profound impact on a student’s future learning. What’s learned early becomes ingrained. It forms the foundation of a student’s subsequent learning so I really want to get this right! My boy is quite competitive, active, curious, very compassionate/caring, needs to be pushed and focused a little however confident quite but needs a little encouragement at times, very social and he is quite popular at his nursery, sporty, loves music and art.

I really want a school that will support his growth, offer good academic support, sports is key and most importantly must be diverse.

I am both terrified and excited at the same time for what the future holds for him, he such a bright little boy who is very teachable and I just want to place him in an environment that he will thrive in!

So far the options I like the look of are Pointers, Oakfield prep, Dulwich prep and Alleyn’s school and I’ve booked to go various tours in coming weeks but any advice anyone can offer on what to look out for questions to ask, things to consider would be so helpful! Thank you in advance.

I’ve had DC at two schools from your list. Please DM with any questions and happy to help.

I feel touring will definitely get you a good idea of the school, teachers and students. Ethnic diversity was a huge concern for us, so try and go on a week day and assess the diversity of the classrooms. Also you may want to think of co-Ed versus single sex.

If he’s as gifted, sporty, empathetic and lovely as you say then it seems unlikely that he needs private schooling.

Our eldest was all set to go to Braeside in Bromley but we decided that as he seemed to be well-adjusted and relatively bright that state school would work best.

I think pupil diversity is one element but teacher diversity is important too.

I reckon that London schools should now have less difficulty recruiting black teachers than a lot of others places.

Many years ago a couple who were our friends, both doctors said their 6 yo Dd, at Alleyns, said that at her classroom ‘tell us about yourself’ the teacher told her that it was not true that both her parents were doctors.

Their Dd ended up confused and asked them where they went every morning in their white coats!

Don't think an incident like this would have been restricted to Alleyns but would hope that you’d find less of this kind of BS from
any of the private schools now.

As pp said, visit schools outside of open days if possible. Ask questions, see how staff respond to you, look you in the eye, and trust your instincts.

Outstanding State School catchments in London comprise of the same type of parents as London Private Primaries - the difference is they buy their way into catchments vs paying fees. So yes in some areas it really makes no difference if a wealthy child goes to state vs private.

That seems really odd, and sad of course.

Private schools are very used to black wealthy children for many many decades. Not in huge numbers, but always a few black faces, especially in the major schools.

I know a black man who went Alleyns back in the 90's and never had any issues there, but racist teachers are everywhere I guess. I hope they wrote to the school he would have been hauled over by the headmaster, even back in the day, never mind recently.

OP, your son would be fine at any of those schools, including Alleyns. He certainly wont be the only black face in any of those schools and even the most ancient schools are very attuned to racial discrimination.

Personally I wouldn't bother with Pointers or Oakfield, its such a financial commitment, stick to the top -Alleyns, Dulwich Prep, both feed the senior schools direct and have access to dazzling facilities that Pointers and Oakfield could only dream of. They also give an excellent education and you can always switch to other great schools at 11/13+