Colour talk with a 3.5 year old

[curiouserx2]

Mums of mixed race children, what do you tell them when they ask about colour?

I started to say that they're brown, but it doesn't sit well with me. Society will call them black. I just want them to feel positively about their beautiful skin especially as we're in a predominantly white area. I talk positively about being black, give them black books, dolls, praise their curly hair and spend more time with my black family but feel like I might confuse things.

OP was asking in regards of skin colour, not heritage /race

Why are you policing the thread like this? On a forum for discussion. I thought that was an insightful post from @Lndnmummy

I think so many people are in denial of their conflating skin colour, race and ethnicity...Or perhaps race has become the exact same as skin colour and some of us missed the memo.

I just wish all the outrage about skin colour would begin to die down. It's being told you aren't what you are and what you can see with your eyes. A bit gaslighty.

Nobody is policing anything op asked about skin colour nothing more, nothing less... So don't get why u even questioning me for... If u have nothing to comment in regards to the post then move along

And @Lndnmummy has answered that.

Or have you missed the part about two children drawing self-portraits?

my mixed race DD really likes this book, which they read at school and I bought a copy for home:

The Colors of Us https://amzn.eu/d/8r01nCz

Nobody is policing anything op asked about skin colour nothing more, nothing less... So don't get why u even questioning me for... If u have nothing to comment in regards to the post then move along

I'm asking you why you are pouncing on people's contributions. You have told three people on this small thread that their contribution is not relevant.

Don't deform my words I didn't tell anyone their post wasn't relavant... I stated op asked about skin colour

(*Typo so spelling mistakes)

But yet u feel to pounce at me though... Enjoy the rest of your day instead of interigating me

Good post @Lndnmummy. This is pretty much my experience. Every now and again they come across some arse who thinks they can manage their race, like your son's teacher.

My teenagers describe themselves as black and are confident in who they are because we have made sure they have been supported in this. I don't think it's something you can just ignore and expect to turn out OK. At least not where I live where not being white is a bit of a novelty.

My daughter is mixed race and so are my other 2 girls - the 4 year old knows she is 'white' and 'black' she doesn't really like talking about what she is as she sees people as people rather than colours, which is rather nice. She knows she is part African and part white.... she says she wants to be black like me when she is older - she asked why she looked white as a baby and black now lol 😂

I’m white, DH black. My kids watch a lot of Disney where the characters are black, my daughter has brown dolls, I always compliment my kids skin & tell them they are beautiful. Still trying to find my way with it at the moment, I’m building their confidence in who they are. Most important I don’t let anyone other than DH & I talk about skin colour with them & we say they are mixed race.

There isn't one person in my family of birth who doesn't have white in their mix somewhere and every single one of us calls ourselves black.

Distinguishing mixed-race heritage by saying 'brown' makes no sense to me given so many 'black' people are mixed in some way, shape or form.

Perhaps it is really important to communicate that one of the parents is white? Is that because the person doesn't think that is clear and they need to verbally express it when saying 'I'm brown'?

What makes it so important for people to know this about you?

I guess it might also be a group identifier. So if you don't want to be known as black, why is that?

Oh my goodness @Lndnmummy where on earth is this school? I’d just like to avoid it! You can’t be peach you’re yellow 😧

My DC are black but quite fair skinned. To me they look very obviously mixed raced eg they have my facial features and curls (they are beautiful!). They are more like my side of the family but they have been asked why they are white but have a black mum before. I and they describe them as black but we both have brown skin just in different shades.