help-Racist bullying

[MrsMitford3]

I really hope it is ok to post here- I am here hoping for some advice. My DD (aged 22) is a Nanny (white-which she feels is relevant because she has no lived experience to help cope) for an Indian family (relevant because a lot of it is based on "being brown"). She has asked me to post here for her.

The son she looks after is being hideously bullied-called the N word, their slave and other horrible slurs. His things have been stolen and his glasses stepped on. His friends are too afraid to play with him any more-he is 8.

DD adores the children. The little boy is gentle, sweet and quiet and is devastated and is struggling to cope with no friends.

The parents and Headmaster know and are "dealing with it" and apparently bullies leaving at the end of term.

She is so upset on his behalf and is struggling with the best way to help him and anxious not to get it wrong.
I would be very grateful for any suggestions as this poor child still has to go to school every day!

Poor child. How are the school dealing with it? Apart from too slowly?! I presume parents are pushing for action with the school?
If I was the parent I wouldn’t send my child to school. It’s unsafe for him.

Your dd’s role is to listen and care and validate that it is upsetting and absolutely shouldn’t be happening.

@Rummikub thank you for your kind reply.

DD also thinks she'd keep him home.

And sorry-she has just seen reply and corrected me-he is 10, sister is 8

What I found difficult as a child who experienced racism was adults down playing it. Teachers included “oh I’d love to be your colour”. That didn’t validate how i was feeling. I would have liked to hear that the bullies were wrong and dealt with promptly.

Are the parents being active or trusting the school (I wouldn’t)

I would be raising it with the board of governers and asking the school how they were going to protect my child in line with their anti bullying policy.

And if they don't I would take them out of school.

Threaten to remove the child and report to Ofsted??

I’m still shocked that the school haven’t excluded the racially aggravated bullies.

@Rummikub @Wombastic @cocksstrideintheevening
it is a fee paying school

That's why I think they are letting them see the term out.
It is an absolute disgrace

Racism is illegal. If the school is not addressing the concerns I would inform them that I will be filing a police report. They have a duty of care to the child. I would also advice the parents that racism is a ssafe guarding issue and that I will contact social services with my concerns. You will see them jump into action (in my experience).

*the parents of the bullies.

This.

That's what I think BUT, really I'm bumping because I'm white and hope you get more advice from people who sadly know more about this than me.

@Rummikub @Wombastic @cocksstrideintheevening
it is a fee paying school

My son went to a fee paying school. Constantly called the P word.When he complained to the headmaster he was told.
"You don't come from Pakistan so what's the problem "
He didn't tell me until recently ( he's 29) because he thought he would get into trouble for it. I have not made this up.!!
I'm certain if I posted this on the other side no one would believe me.
The only solution is for him to be taken out of the school.Nothing else will work!!

I can believe that your ds decided to “not rock the boat”. It’s like being gas lit if you caused a fuss about racism.

The parents must see the damage being caused to their child.

Rummikub
What?
And become known best for the thing brushed lumpily under the carpet in the middle of the room??