Private school inverse snobbery

[Cocoabutterkim]

Just reading another thread and a lot of people have very strong views about those that attended or send their dc to independent schools. The privilege they are buying seems to be looked on with derision, at best ‘foolish you look how well I’ve done without’ or it’s inherently unethical.
Got me thinking, do you feel this way or know any other black people that do? For me I think, whatever advantage you can get for your dc you should jump at it with both hands.

Most black people I know don't think that way.
Most are connected to countries where going to non fee paying schools is almost certainly living below average life and everyone provides everything for themselves with limited government presence in the state.

Some believe in living in a nice area to get access to good selective state schools others are happy to live in the cheaper area that can afford private schooling in many cases irrespective of the ranking of such school, as long as it's fee paying.

Never have I come across a black person who feels it's immoral or unethical to use private schooling, in fact it's usually celebrated and no excuse made for the choice; but there're many white people who actively campaign against it and verbally express their disdain of it.

Politically, there're debates about whether or not they will be abolished. Labour toys with the idea of campaigning on it or at least removing the tax free status making it 20% dearer. On the other hand Labour must have a school expansion program even if it's to gradually buy up the private schools as they close. Some have closed in the past couple of years already and for most parents a 20% increase for two children will be challenging.

This is an interesting article from a black journalist about Labour plans to abolish Tax incentives for private schools and the implications for some black families.

https://inews.co.uk/opinion/labour-private-school-tax-hike-plans-black-children-education-2273333?ito=copy-linksharee_article-top

The privilege they are buying seems to be looked on with derision, at best ‘foolish you look how well I’ve done without’ or it’s inherently unethical.

Black people know that paying private school fees or moving into an area with good state schools to have the privilege of better education, actual or perceived, only goes so far in counteracting the racial discrimination their children face in this country.

I agree it is buying an advantage, however parents of black children in private schools are not likely to be resting on their laurels regardless of their child's school or university achievements.

They know that their children face the same discrimination in society and the workplace and have the same life conversations as if they were at the local state school.

Agree with all of the above. Some things on MN you sit with arms folded one eye brow arched and just read with astonishment how the majority in this country think.

The funniest posts though are the ones that post things like, 'How do you sleep at night?', 'how do you hold your head up in public KNOWING you bought your dc an advantage and that's why they are at (Insert Top 10 uni).

Never have I come across a black person who feels it's immoral or unethical to use private schooling, in fact it's usually celebrated and no excuse made for the choice; but there're many white people who actively campaign against it and verbally express their disdain of it.

I agree with this, but I suspect that on an anonymous forum like MN, many possibly 3rd generation may follow this way of thinking, not understanding that the majority of white liberals who feel this way have the means and buy other advantageous such as

Homeowners - equity or inheritance for their children
Living in expensive areas
Expensive holidays
Expensive outings
Private tutoring
Good quality extra curricular and childcare
Private SEN diagnoses .....

And let's not forget all this builds a network of like minded friends and family. So if you they are in the local school their friendship group will more likely be children from a similar background and not other kids from the nearby housing estate.

Agree with your comment as well @Denzelstowel . One of the issues with MN is that when people are debating, its usually argued through the lens of the 'white' experience. It is assumed if you are private schooling, then you must come from generational wealth i.e the traditional white middle class families with all the privilege that goes with it. Many don't grasp that there are people posting who 1st or 2nd generational immigrants with none of the social capital or things you listed above, just lucky to be able to afford private schooling for their dc.

When they argue that PS dc are not living in the 'real world', they don't get that we've (my personal family lest I speak on behalf of all black people) been living in the real world all our lives! we are coming at PS from the other side, we are trying to give our dc an education that will acquaint them with another side of life so that they get a more balanced view of their world and speak confidently with corporates as well as cleaners. The private school brigade as they call are also part of the REAL WORLD and infact they hold the purse strings and sit at the helm of decision-making that affects our lives (rich and poor) so personally, I want my dc to be able to hold their own amongst them.

In my circle private school is something to aspire to, not look down on. We have to give ourselves a leg-up somehow.

I've been fortunate enough to be able to buy a house in a very good area, however the best state school is heavily oversubscribed (over 1,000 applicants for 180 places), so they may not get in.

If that happens, my plan is to move boroughs to be closer to the private school, and send DC there instead.

I think half of MN send their dc privately and the other half wax lyrical about how brilliantly they've done without it. I think it's a very British thing, and dare I say it working class (and I'm as wc as they come). You need to know your station and aspiring to loftier heights is a form of betrayal.
The Oxbridge threads are full of posters claiming they were abandoned under a hedge at birth and raised themselves eating branches and that didn't stop them getting into Oxbridge, no private schooling for them! Meanwhile back in the real world people do what they think is right for their dc.

@sadienurse2 You're so funny! .

Honestly, I needed this thread. I have 3 DCs in independent schools and its tough but nothing to regret. Don't get me wrong, even among my black friends you do get comments about how its a waste of money etc but overwhelmingly no one pretends its immoral or the root of all inequalities.

I think its just different for most black people or immigrants. We're not going to inherent huge £££ from our grandparent nor do our families own massive estates to pass on to our DCs.

You really do have to grab all the advantages you can get and make sure your DCs know to make full use of all the opportunities and bring others along.

@Rege it's true! I didn't realize that was Black MN when I posted, so sorry for this. I'll say then that's is a very White British wc thing, this idea that I started from nothing and I'm self made without any help (and often as per the Oxbridge threads or any thread on here that mentions privilege, there's often a horrendous sob story about how being parentless/iIliterate/in dire poverty and sharing a single bed with 16 siblings didn't hold them back). I don't know any non white parent who wouldn't try to grab any privilege for their dc that they could.

@sadienurse2 'If it's good enough for us, it's good enough for you', Crab mentality!. Meanwhile, in my home country people are praying, 'You will be greater than us, you will do greater exploits than us'.

Funny thing is it's all a ruse! As soon as that opportunity lands in their lap they will switch sides but they will argue, 'We can afford it, we just chose not to on principle'. I mean fair enough if you can afford it but prefer the lovely state school near you but to say you could afford it but decided against it, because you preferred the sink ship school near you on moral principles actually makes you an awful parent.