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Seeking advice and guidance please.

2 replies

spidereggs · 15/01/2023 15:57

Good afternoon,

I'm female, white. I am seeking some guidance as to how best to respond, if at all. I would appreciate any advice, will try and summarise.

I am involved in a rural development voluntary group.

During one of the meetings, a male white person made a racist comment to a female, she did not hear it.

I was out of the room, feeding baby. I was contacted after by two members of the public and various people who did hear it.

I emailed, advising the complaint had been received, training was required, the matter however, was one for the police to deal with, such a comment in a public place.

The intended victim, was angry with me for raising it. Said she and the male were friends, accused me of acting as judge and jury.

She asked the founder for an "internal" investigation, they refused, echoing my comment it was a police matter to investigate.

She emailed the group, various inaccuracies, particularly around phrases and legal system (Scotland not England).

I replied in early December, asking her not to quote incorrect law, explaining the process again.

Today she emailed the entire group, accusing me of being racist for "reprimanding" her by pointing out her mistakes and stating that I must have only done that due to her ethnicity as others had made mistakes and not been corrected.

The other mistakes were typing errors, nothing related to the original racist comment, which were not being dealt with by me and which were not in an email asking me to reply.

I'm extremely upset today. I have always taken responsibility for my actions and words. I was previous a solicitor. I am at a loss, as to where to go from here. By defending her, and following a public complaint, the entire thing has been turned onto me.

I don't feel I can continue, despite the risk that poses for the community (I was chosen to represent a particular group).

Would you suggest I reply? Leave it?

OP posts:
Doubtmyself · 27/01/2023 20:53

You should explain its irrelevent if she and the white man who said the racist word are friends, there were 3rd parties who took offence and raised it with you.

Rather than involve the police, you could draw a line under it and raise it in the meeting that the use of racist and sexist language , even amongst friends will not be tolerated and those who continue to do so will be asked to leave the group.

spidereggs · 27/01/2023 21:43

@Doubtmyself thank you for responding. I really appreciate it.

I feel that is correct re the original incident and have done that.

I don't know how to reply to her though, the fact she has accused me of being racist, for raising the issue, and pointing out the legal differences between Scotland and England.

OP posts:
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