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Black Mumsnetters

Only black one?

30 replies

OKild09 · 10/11/2022 09:24

Any one else the only black one in their workplace?

I love all my colleagues and we get on well and I've never felt inferior at all but sometimes I just wish there was more diversity.

ALL my colleagues are white and sometimes I forget and start speaking in my "black vernacular" and off course they don't understand. They also don't understand the "black banter".

I just wish there was someone else, my race, I could vibe with 🙁

PS. Almost every job I've been in I've always been the only black one, I live in a small village in the NE.

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RishisProudMum · 11/11/2022 14:18

I live in central London, work in the charity sector and I have almost never had a Black colleague. Even when I have, they’ve never been on my team (comms/stakeholder management). I’m a Director now and actively trying to recruit more diversity, so hopefully that changes.

Earlier in my career, I remember colleagues always being fascinated by my hair. I’d have an Afro on Friday and box braids on Monday, or something, and they’d lose their entire minds. It was mildly amusing and mildly irritating at the same time.

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ToGanymedeAndTitan · 13/11/2022 01:18

This is a reason I love my work, that there's a lot of diversity
Some days I'm the only person in the room who is not black and everyone is talking to each other in a language I don't speak
I'm in the UK

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ToGanymedeAndTitan · 13/11/2022 01:22

Just reading that back, honestly didn't mean it sarcastically, was being genuine!

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PompomDahlia · 16/11/2022 21:19

@RishisProudMum I’m in your sector too, and I’m with you on the complete lack of diversity. Just recently I was in a meeting about EDI targets and ‘hard to reach’ groups and wanted to bang my head on the desk at how bad the misconceptions were. And there are so many microaggressions in the office. Do you have a diversity committee? I’ve found it has saved my sanity to have some likeminded colleagues to chat to even if they’re in different departments.

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Robinre · 16/11/2022 21:35

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RishisProudMum · 16/11/2022 23:25

PompomDahlia · 16/11/2022 21:19

@RishisProudMum I’m in your sector too, and I’m with you on the complete lack of diversity. Just recently I was in a meeting about EDI targets and ‘hard to reach’ groups and wanted to bang my head on the desk at how bad the misconceptions were. And there are so many microaggressions in the office. Do you have a diversity committee? I’ve found it has saved my sanity to have some likeminded colleagues to chat to even if they’re in different departments.

One of the first things I did here was scrap the EDI committee, as it was basically a bunch of well meaning liberal middle class white people wringing their hands and looking at me like I was some sort of messiah. I found it more efficient to be messianic on my own for a bit. I’ve since rebuilt it and we’ve actually managed some pretty interesting initiatives over the last few years, so quite excited to see how those pan out.

To be honest, the lack of diversity has never been an issue for me in terms of personally relating to people of the office environment. I’ve always really enjoyed that aspect. It’s an issue because of the lack of representation and the fact that I want everyone to have a seat at the table.

I hope that things are improving for you?

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Winceybincey · 16/11/2022 23:30

OKild09 · 10/11/2022 09:24

Any one else the only black one in their workplace?

I love all my colleagues and we get on well and I've never felt inferior at all but sometimes I just wish there was more diversity.

ALL my colleagues are white and sometimes I forget and start speaking in my "black vernacular" and off course they don't understand. They also don't understand the "black banter".

I just wish there was someone else, my race, I could vibe with 🙁

PS. Almost every job I've been in I've always been the only black one, I live in a small village in the NE.

I’ve recently moved to the NE and I’m quite shocked at the lack of diversity here. I’m white but from a very multi-cultural city with lots of black and Asian friends there. I feel like I’ve stepped back in time here.

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JamSandle · 16/11/2022 23:30

Complete opposite at my workplace. Interesting how variable it is.

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RishisProudMum · 16/11/2022 23:49

Winceybincey · 16/11/2022 23:30

I’ve recently moved to the NE and I’m quite shocked at the lack of diversity here. I’m white but from a very multi-cultural city with lots of black and Asian friends there. I feel like I’ve stepped back in time here.

You moved to the least diverse part of the country and you’re shocked about the lack of diversity?

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RishisProudMum · 16/11/2022 23:49

JamSandle · 16/11/2022 23:30

Complete opposite at my workplace. Interesting how variable it is.

That’s interesting. What sector are you in?

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OlympicProcrastinator · 18/11/2022 14:02

I am the only woman AND the only black person. My town isn’t diverse at all. I’ve had lots of ‘interesting’ conversations. Feel like I’ve stepped back into the 1920’s a lot but they are all nice and friendly despite the weird racist comments (yeah I know how that sounds but they are all about 60 and I just can’t take things to heart)

That said I’d I feel lonely and it’s just a temporary job for me.

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Endofmyteatherr · 18/11/2022 14:08

I think village life alone brings these issues. I wouldn't take a house in a village even if it was offered to me for free. I've also worked with a white South Africa lady and she recieved a negative experience too.

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TottersBlankly · 18/11/2022 14:18

Hmm - I don’t think you need imagine people of 60 are too old to understand civilised behaviour … Halloween Grin

@OKild09 I was the ‘only one’ all through senior school (a couple of others at primary) and university. (Oxbridge - long time ago, obvs.) Only fee earner in first proper job, only British ‘one’ once professionally qualified. If anything the more recent ‘institutions falling over themselves to be diverse’ years have been far more painful. I was just myself in my youth - now every non-white person in the UK is assumed to be the same person. Halloween Hmm

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OlympicProcrastinator · 18/11/2022 16:11

Hmm - I don’t think you need imagine people of 60 are too old to understand civilised behaviour

oh no I didn’t mean it that way. I meant they are older men from a generation who use terms they don’t realise are racist. They try to politely call me ‘a nice coloured lady’ for example. I don’t feel they are deliberately being uncivilised or rude because of their generation. It doesn’t feel like an attack in the same way it would from someone younger. I always explain to them why something isn’t ok and they seem to listen. Sorry if I sounded ageist.

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TottersBlankly · 18/11/2022 16:17

I completely understood what you meant! But I’m surprised to hear that people in their 60s would be unwittingly racist or ‘use the wrong terms’. That is something I’ve experienced from people at least a generation older.

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RishisProudMum · 18/11/2022 17:45

OlympicProcrastinator · 18/11/2022 16:11

Hmm - I don’t think you need imagine people of 60 are too old to understand civilised behaviour

oh no I didn’t mean it that way. I meant they are older men from a generation who use terms they don’t realise are racist. They try to politely call me ‘a nice coloured lady’ for example. I don’t feel they are deliberately being uncivilised or rude because of their generation. It doesn’t feel like an attack in the same way it would from someone younger. I always explain to them why something isn’t ok and they seem to listen. Sorry if I sounded ageist.

Totally get this. I used to volunteer in care homes in East London when I lived there. Some absolutely lovely people in their 70’s and 80’s just would not call me Black. They thought it rude and were very insistent on the ‘coloured’ thing. It would have been churlish to take offence, but it was slightly surreal to be ‘the pretty coloured girl’.

Also, I’m Nigerian, so until I moved here I don’t think I’d ever even been called ‘Black’, much less ‘coloured’. I was very confused. 😂

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Gluewhine · 18/11/2022 17:56

I think it’s partly about expectations. I’m from a small ethnic minority group and I just don’t expect there to be others. If there are, it’s interesting but I often feel as different from people who are the same ethnicity as those who are not. It’s become part of my identity that I’m an outsider in multiple ways, but I usually don’t experience this in a negative way.

I think the NE has a really interesting history and culture, so while it isn’t ethnically diverse, in some ways the static population makes it feel like a place with a lot of continuity.

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Lennybenny · 18/11/2022 17:58

I'm the only woman and the only black person in my entire department. There isn't that many in the entire workplace. My current workplace is a challenge. I'm a lot fed up of "those" conversations and I was very very glad we weren't at work when the whole BLM thing came about. I was warned when I started they used racist language...they also use homophobic and Misogynistic language as well, they've stopped one of them now but the other 2 keep happening. Its been hard work being here and I hate the thought of moving job and having to deal with it all again.

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RandomPerson42 · 18/11/2022 18:08

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FallingsHowIFeel · 18/11/2022 18:15

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What?????

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RishisProudMum · 18/11/2022 18:47

FallingsHowIFeel · 18/11/2022 18:15

What?????

Oh, Christ. I can only imagine what this was.

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RishisProudMum · 18/11/2022 18:50

Lennybenny · 18/11/2022 17:58

I'm the only woman and the only black person in my entire department. There isn't that many in the entire workplace. My current workplace is a challenge. I'm a lot fed up of "those" conversations and I was very very glad we weren't at work when the whole BLM thing came about. I was warned when I started they used racist language...they also use homophobic and Misogynistic language as well, they've stopped one of them now but the other 2 keep happening. Its been hard work being here and I hate the thought of moving job and having to deal with it all again.

That’s awful! So sorry you’re dealing with such a toxic workplace! What sector are you in and is this common in your industry? I’ve had the odd micro-aggression, but openly homophobic, misogynistic and racist language at work?! In 2022?!

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BHMiseverymonth · 18/11/2022 18:51

I’m in Central london and ditto

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RedWingBoots · 18/11/2022 22:21

I'm in the second role in 3 years (I am mostly freelance) where I was recruited by having an interview a black or black mixed person.

Before 2015 I was use to being the only black person and often the only woman where I worked.

I feel that I don't have to prove myself and I am just a normal person in their "office".

Previously, and this includes working in London, I felt I had to prove myself and only if they decided my colour didn't matter they employed more black people.

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OKild09 · 30/11/2022 10:17

Oh wow, I'm just getting back on Mnest and I can see a lot of you have/are experiencing the same. Thank you all for sharing.

I recently visited my brother in Birmingham and I honestly it was the opposite. I can see why he left the NE now.

@Lennybenny I'm so sorry you're going through this :( Is there anyway you can report this higher up?

I've also experienced micro aggression, undertone racism etc. Many years ago, I had a colleague that said to me "Your English is very good"
I'm originally from the Caribbean and my first and ONLY language is English.
Also the touching of my hair(this does not happen now, I pumped the brakes on that yrs ago!). The fascination as if i'm some local attraction, the asking of stupid dumb questions. I find some white people so out of touch like seriously!?!?

It's the ignorance for me!

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