What would you do?

[Winterhail]

Yesterday I was shopping with my white skinned daughter in the northern tourist town where I live. I am mixed race.

There was a couple of white skinned girls in front of us at the till. They were offered a bag for their purchases, and the girl on the till wished them a good day.

Then my daughter was offered a bag for her purchases (3 items).

I was not offered a bag for my 2 items. I got one when I asked for it

Later In told my daughter I had felt uncomfortable in the shop but I didn't know if I was just imagining it.

My daughter said, no I wasn't, and she noticed
it too.

Would you let it go, or write to the shop to complain?

Write

100% complain.

yes write.

Thank you all. I have written and will post it shortly. I know it was a minor incident but I have got to the age now where I will call out this sort of thing when I encounter it.

Honestly I’d name the store.

The policy should be you ask everyone for a bag or ask nobody.

I'm not ready to name the store, but I have written to them, with a request that they train their staff to treat all customers equally, regardless of the colour of their skin.
I'll see what response I get.

You have about a 10% chance of them responding the way you like from my past experiences.

I will give them a reasonable time frame to respond and if I don't get a satisfactory reply then I will name the shop on my local Facebook feed.

I am sorry you have experienced the same kind of thing, RedWingBoots. It gets tedious, doesn't it?

Yep.

It's actually very common but most black people don't complain as they think it's part and parcel of living on the UK.

I only started complaining because I realised my nephews and nieces would face the same crap as adults. Now some of them are adults and are facing the same crap.

I'm far from white anything, parents came here from an African country decades ago.

This scenario you describe happens to me every time I go in a shop. I always wait for them to ask, and if they don't, I wait until they've rung up the total and ask me to pay, then I pointedly ask for one then. It's not my problem they now have to open the transaction on the till again to put in the cost of my bag (some don't!) 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️

I haven't bothered complaining simply because it happens so regularly (it happened to me today in fact). If you've got the energy to complain absolutely do, although I'm not sure it will get you anywhere.

When everything used to be cash, I remember putting money in shopkeepers hands, and then putting it back on the counter, yet before and after me, they'd given it back to the persons hand. I'm early 40's, so this is in recent times. This doesn't happen so much these days, as I use ApplePay, but I used to find it really upsetting.

Complain, complain, complain. And name and shame on social media too. This stuff is exhausting

When everything used to be cash, I remember putting money in shopkeepers hands, and then putting it back on the counter, yet before and after me, they'd given it back to the persons hand. I'm early 40's, so this is in recent times. This doesn't happen so much these days, as I use ApplePay, but I used to find it really upsetting

I'm sorry this happens to you too.
I did actually find it upsetting, and it's not the first time it's happened.

I've written to the company but not really expecting any answer. I'll give them a few more days and then review on Trust Pilot.

How many items did the customers in front of you buy? It might be that this is a simple matter of the shop only asking customers if they want a bag when they have 3 items or more. Or the cashier exercising personal judgement as to when customers purchases requires the offering of a bag. But to name and shame on social media for this? Really?

Consider asking this as a question rather than a direct compliant initially.

So sad, I was in the South near London in Marks and Spencers a couple of year ago. They opened a new till and asked people to come round. I was first in line and the man refused to serve me because he wanted to serve a white man who had come from another till as well. I think he called his manager who told him to just serve me. I nearly walked out and left everything there.

I guess I probably looked like a refugee on benefits with a toddler on tour.
Another time last year I was again at Marks and Spencer - self service. I asked for a bag and the guy came over and said have you paid for it. I was at work, with my ID badge etc I was hardly going to steal a bag worth 5/ 10 p. He then grabbed my receipt and said "I have to check". I have never had anyone do that - it was quite infuriating.
I don't know how the UK has become like this because 20 years ago things were a bit different.

Another M & S worker who was very well spoken and polite to all customers said to me "Madam this roast chicken smells lovely, I bet you will gobble it up in the car while you're driving home" - I was just speechless! Perhaps I should shop elsewhere!

To OP - report it if you felt uncomfortable - nowadays I am doubtful though that much will change especially if the managers are the same.

Hmm, funny that my white skinned daughter and I both bought 3 items each!

Honestly, if you are white yourself, you can have no idea of these experiences.

It's not just a matter of a bag. I told my daughter that I felt uncomfortable in tbe shop, and she said that she had noticed it too. It's facial expression - no smile, a frosty air.

On the face of it, it doesn't seem like much -unless it's you on the receiving end.

And I haven't named and shamed, I've left a review on Trust Pilot, so the shop will know exactly what I think.

I've experienced this sort of shit my whole life, and at almost 70, I've had enough of it and I'll call it out each and every time it happens.

Oh, and yes, I've changed my username since I first posted.

That's rubbish. I would say trust your instincts, but you don't even have to as you have your daughter to back you up. Complain if you have the energy/fortitude to, they won't do better unless they know better.

OP if they ask you to remove or edit your review tell them that you will change it to leave a worse review.

If they leave a comment that indicates you are mistaken or paranoid get your daughter to leave a review.

An update

I received a letter of apology and reassurance that the staff will undertake training to ensure that this doesn't happen again.

So I have deleted my review on Trust Pilot.
For once in my life, I'm glad I complained instead of just going home and feeling shit.

Thank you all for your support. I wouldn't have written to the company at all without getting some encouragement here.

That is at least polite of the company but should they need it in this day and age?

@Starseeking I often put money on the counter when the shopkeeper is a Muslim man (local small shops where I know the family or he is in Muslim dress) but that is extremely specific because I know it is a religious custom.

I would happily get on board with a Muslim shopkeeper doing that to everyone @drspouse.

However, when it only happens to me, with white people before and after me in the queue, it's difficult to make such excuses.

OP good update however you shouldn't have deleted your review.

Next time edit it and put at the beginning what the company has decided to do. Only because if they do the same thing again someone else can see they have done it before.

Oh yes, of course. I wasn't implying anyone should be doing this for non-religious reasons.

Hmm, funny that my white skinned daughter and I both bought 3 items each

In your first post you wrote that you had two items. Now suddenly you had three. Which was it?