How do I describe my skin colour?

[SmartiesMarties]

Hi Black MNers,

Hope you don’t mind me posting here, but I saw the Karen thread trending and it got me thinking about something I never know how to answer, and thought maybe you can help me? Apologies if I offend in anyway.

I’m Middle Eastern. I’m not black. But I’m also not white. I’ve always called myself brown, even though my skin colour is much closer to white, but people have been surprised when I use brown because it’s generally associated with South Asian. In fact, I’ve been challenged before telling me I’m not brown so can’t use it. But I’m definitely not white, in my culture and background and racism I experience.

How would you describe someone like me?

You can call yourself what you like.

Learn to give people who question your ethnicity identity a long hard stare without saying anything.

This is an interesting question because I've never really thought about the fact that when I lived in the Middle East, people never spoke about skin colour. People tended to distinguish themselves by nationality so the majority of the Middle Eastern people I encountered referred to themselves as Arab but that's because we were in a majority Arab country

Posted too soon

Essentially, if you want to describe your skin colour as brown, I don't see why it's anybody's place to tell you otherwise

People tended to distinguish themselves by nationality so the majority of the Middle Eastern people I encountered referred to themselves as Arab but that's because we were in a majority Arab country

"Arab" isn't a nationality though?

Oh I do describe myself as Arab, as that’s what I am!

I was thinking more along the lines of discussions around race. Brown feels appropriate, but when I’ve been told I’m not actually brown because of my skin colour, and I can’t talk about being a brown woman, I don’t know what the right description is!

I think I need to take RedWing’s advice and be more assertive!

I'm using Arab generally. They would specify whether they were Kuwaiti, Emerati etc.

OP someone pointed out to me years ago you are treated by your skin colour and your features by others on society.

So if you look stereotypically Arab then you can call yourself white as much as you want but you won't be treated like it. There as I know mixed people who pass as white and get treated as such.

If you want to describe yourself as Brown, I would do that. Don't let anyone shame you into denying your heritage.

I have an old acquaintance who is mixed, white mum and dad from a Caribbean country. She passes for white (though I could tell), however her brother looks fully Black (same parents). Because of how she's been made to feel all her life (Black dad not in the picture), she desperately tries to keep the Black side hidden, and describes herself as white. It all seems quite sad, however is not uncommon.

So if you look stereotypically Arab then you can call yourself white as much as you want but you won't be treated like it

Nail. Head. That’s why I can never call myself white, because whilst my skin colour is closer to white than brown, I’m not white by way of my culture and heritage, but also the way I’ve been treated my whole life. And that’s fine, I have no issue with not being white…but being told I’m not brown is also a bit like, oh, who am I then?!

@Starseeking

If you want to describe yourself as Brown, I would do that. Don't let anyone shame you into denying your heritage.

I have an old acquaintance who is mixed, white mum and dad from a Caribbean country. She passes for white (though I could tell), however her brother looks fully Black (same parents). Because of how she's been made to feel all her life (Black dad not in the picture), she desperately tries to keep the Black side hidden, and describes herself as white. It all seems quite sad, however is not uncommon.

That’s really very sad.