Is it necessary to take them to the Motherland?

[user1461609321]

Morning all

My children are now yr 4 and 6 so eldest starting secondary and I have begun to really think about a holiday home to Africa as they have never been

Both myself and husband are from West Africa (different parts) but have not been back for a few years and never with the kids

I want the kids to develop a positive sense of self, see there is more to life than London, appreciate the comforts of life in the UK as well as meeting grandparents etc

The flights will be very expensive during summer holidays around 4k so not cheap and could honestly use the money on other things but this also feels important

What would you do?

Based on the amount it will cost, go when the youngest is six. Also, think about summer holidays. If you have a relative you trust like parents, brother or sister. A cousin you were really close to. They can spend the summer six weeks with them. Tjink of it when they are secondary school age. This usually works out better than two weeks holiday every year. they get to understand the culture better, improvements with parents native language too.

Also, never do direct flights. Try starting your flight from like Italy or Malta.

Hi

Thanks for the response, youngest is 9, and oldest will be 11

@debbrianna

Also, never do direct flights. Try starting your flight from like Italy or Malta.

Thanks for the response, youngest is 9, and oldest will be 11

Ohh! I read them as years and not class. Try booking with Ryan Air to a European country close to Africa. Then book a flight from their separately and see your price half. This works throughout the year.

There not their

Going to a country where you aren't a minority, black people run everything and do every job is really eye opening and memorable when you are near your teen years/a young teen.

If you can't afford for all of you to go then one of you needs to go with the eldest, then the following year go with the next one etc.

This is what my parents, their friends and my school friends parents all did who had more than one child. Those who were the youngest by a decade or where an only child ended up spending more of their summers in countries where black people aren't a minority.

Going to a country where you aren't a minority, black people run everything and do every job is really eye opening and memorable when you are near your teen years/a young teen.

This. And yes, if you can, it’s hugely important that they begin to understand that there are whole continents where they are not a ‘minority’, where they are not judged with suspicion by police, where the judges are black - as are the heads of science departments in universities, all the TV broadcasters, all the headteachers, architects, gardeners, clothes designers, artists, photographers, royalty …

They’ll come back to the UK able to shrug off all the tiny concerns about being ‘the first Black whatever’. Honestly, it’s life changing.

But surely there’s no need to pick the most expensive time of year to travel?

@LiterallyKnowsBest schools fine parents for pupils missing school to go on holiday.

The only time they can go and spend a decent amount of time there is in the summer holidays otherwise they miss school.

I was thinking of Christmas or Easter!

(But I’m used to those being a good 4 weeks, so I realise they may be less viable if holidays are shorter.)

In state schools they are 2-2.5 weeks, and flight prices go up around then as well. The trick as a PP said is to not do a direct flight from the UK.

Interesting point about not doing a direct flight from the UK. Do you mean not checking the direct flight box when searching but doing the search from UK to said country? Or search from other country to said (African) country? Will a VPN be required?

I went as an adult for the first time with my husband. Changed everything for me. My daughter is only 2 but I intend to take her frequently as she grows up.

As a pp said, not being a minority is everything. Like seeing billboard ads with our faces on them everywhere.... I was honestly overwhelmed for a while took a few weeks for me to settle in! If I'd seen it growing up I don't think it would've been such a big deal.

Interesting OP. Yes without a doubt it's a positive to say you have been to your motherland I view it as essential. Personally I would take my kids out of school for an occasion like this but I usually do anyway.

My DS travels nearly every year but I feel disappointed he has not visited West Africa also where his dad is from and I don't feel brave enough to do it alone myself with him as I'm not familiar. I have visited JA this is where my grandparents are from and I have taken him to Domician Republic also. DS was around 2.5 in Jamaica but I have all the photos to show him... he won't remember but I sure will.

My heart sinks when I meet people from West Africa and they ask me if me or DS have been before.

Me and brother visited JA when we were little .. I think I was around 5 I still remember and my mother washing bedding in a bowl in the back garden... my Grandma didn't have a washer back then.

Also I would take direct flights I love travelling but it is tiring and busy.

Yes. I would say categorically it's important for them to visit. To understand 'where they are from', to see another side of life and also for you both to talk to them about where you're from. I get the impression with every new generation our sense of identity can fade away. So in all that learning basic words of your native tongue, learning about the food and culture and all things that you might take for granted but for them will be a whole new learning experience.

@user1461609321

Morning all

My children are now yr 4 and 6 so eldest starting secondary and I have begun to really think about a holiday home to Africa as they have never been

Both myself and husband are from West Africa (different parts) but have not been back for a few years and never with the kids

I want the kids to develop a positive sense of self, see there is more to life than London, appreciate the comforts of life in the UK as well as meeting grandparents etc

The flights will be very expensive during summer holidays around 4k so not cheap and could honestly use the money on other things but this also feels important

What would you do?

I would take them. I think it is important that they can appreciate their culture and what makes up part of them. I wouldn't bankrupt myself to do it but if you could afford it, I would.

I'm so sorry, this came up on my most recent and I thought it was an aibu. I didnt notice it was in the black mumsnetters page. I didnt mean to impose xxx

No worries @Newmumatlast Hope all is good with you.
And congratulations on being a new mum

If you can, absolutely.

It really moulds you.

@debbrianna

Ohh! I read them as years and not class. Try booking with Ryan Air to a European country close to Africa. Then book a flight from their separately and see your price half. This works throughout the year.

This really works, although you need a bigger gap than normal as your luggage may not appear at the same time. I'd also do easyjet, rather than Ryanair.

I think it's important to take them, I took my kids when the oldest was 5, his language even improved. I am hoping he will go again to spend the summer with my family instead of paying for summer camps.

I think it would be a wonderful experience for your kids to be able to see West Africa, especially since you and their dad are from there. Since your kids are older (rather than young kids) they’ll get a lot out of it.

However I understand your concerns about how extremely expensive it would be and how you could use the money for other things. So I can’t really answer what I would do, it would depend on what ‘other things’ the money could be spent on. So if you desperately needed a new car, struggled with mortgage, could pay for kids tutoring or activities for a year etc I could see why you would prioritise that.