placemarking

It's colourism, which derives from racism and can severely damage a person's self esteem. The messaging with colourism is that light skin is attractive and beautiful and the further you are from that, the uglier you are - a very damaging message to dark-skinned girls.

It's sad, but I see many young people buy into this ideology and have fun in making dark skinned people (mostly girls) the butt of jokes. Even sadder is that many dark skinned girls buy into this and have a very self deprecating attitude to at least prevent themselves from seeming like the angry, bitter black woman.

In short, it is not ok. Even if the black friend seems ok with it. Posting such views online could be something they live to regret. A host of celebrities have come under fire due to dug up colourist tweets (e.g. Maya Jama).

Posting such views online could be something they live to regret.
Absolutely. Things can change in the blink of an eye and if I was your dd I wouldn't want this video out there in the wide world.

I've just asked mY dd (17) who is mixed race what she thinks and she said 'you can't say that' and her eyebrows went up like Penfold. 😲

Well, that's not so bad if the friend is saying it and your dd is just there. It's still not brilliant though.

It sounds like the friend has some issues but that's not for your dd to fix.

I'm not reading this as a dark-skinned girl being the butt of a joke, but one who expressing her sadness at how she is overlooked for lighter friends by guys.

Within that context, where she's talking about her own experiences, I don't have an issue - it's how I was raised to talk about it, I'm a Mestizo person, and I've called myself light skin & light-skinned, though I get why others might not like it and why others may caution taking it down with how things are online.

It's a hard thing to talk about because it is something people notice and it's not an issue to notice this reality or to talk about it - I noticed my father who is far darker than his siblings be treated differently by others and there were far more issues with those who refused to acknowledge that - but discussing colourism has a lot of layers, especially when if discussing it with multiple groups involved rather than colourism as an intracommunity issue within one group.

I'm not sure how else she should phrase her observation that many other people have had and has been discussed widely online for years. Would have it been better to say lighter friend rather than light skin? I'm not sure, though I wouldn't want to make any impression that she shouldn't be talking about her experience in this, especially as someone who is light skin.

What they are doing is expressing themselves, reporting what they are experiencing. This isn't racism per se, it's journalism through a modern medium. We they expressing it was right or just that it happens. It's really prevalent in the Asian community.

It's wrong on so many levels to be bias towards paler skin but I'm impressed by young people bringing this issue to the fore, I had no idea until Asian friends experienced it within their community

Yes it's colourism and they won't realise because we are products of our environment.

I'm in my 40s and I only just realised the full extent colourism has had in my life. Last month my mum told me to come in out of the sun when I was sitting out enjoying it. She said I would get too dark. It annoyed me as the woman I am today but I realised why throughout my life I'd never been able to sit out in the sun and enjoy it on my skin because of the messages I'd had all my life were if you get too dark you will be inferior.

I wouldn't have sat out in the sun at all as a teen because I wouldn't want to get darker. Now idgaf.

My kids show me memes of 'lightskins' acting like they love themselves, because they find it funny- I'm guessing because they are mixed race themselves. I don't really know how to react to it.

When I was a kid the mixed raced kids were top-dogs and I secretly disliked them for it.

Everyone I know uses lightskin. Not offensive

I personally don't like it though. I'm mixed/biracial- not lightskin. "Lightskin" is supposed to be fully black with light skin.

Just annoys me as it's incorrect. Probably would sound weird from an older person but from someone under 30 I wouldn't think twice

Yes it's colourism and they won't realise because we are products of our environment.

Definitely started out as colourist. I think it was used to categorise/make a hierarchy. It was definitely like that at school. Lightskin girls are the most desirable, 'dark skins' (or other derogatory names) at the bottom

Now, it's embraced much more maybe it's different as I'm obviously out of secondary now. But I know people who proudly identify themselves as darkskin.

My daughter is very pale, mixed race. I hadn't seen her for a week or so and when I went to visit her yesterday, she was visibly very much darker. She'd been doing some serious sunbathing. She looked lovely! But the thing which made me smile is that she said "mum, for the first time ever, I look like you, I really love it". And you could tell, she really did love it 😊

OP this:

In short, it is not ok. Even if the black friend seems ok with it. Posting such views online could be something they live to regret. A host of celebrities have come under fire due to dug up colourist tweets (e.g. Maya Jama).

Is the most important thing.

Even while teens may think it is innocent, in the future someone wanting to hire them may trawl through social media to see if they can dig up dirt.

While it is not legal in the UK, companies still do it.

The video is actually targeting colourism from what you described it. They are not imposing or creating something out of thin air. The wording is very UK thing and any person under 35 is aware of tge word lighty It goes hand in hand with pretty. Doing by school days in the UK, boys were vicious gains the darker girls. UK rap is full of lightys being the standard.

Technically, I seen more young people are fighting this online.

I would say ask your daughter wether the experience is true before making judgment and dismissing it.

Lighter, lightskin, red bone...all manifestations of internalised colourism. I remember at school in the nineties the boys who would be described as "dark skin" in terms of skin tone being the most vocal about the light skinned girls being the most coveted/pretty/desirable. Other Black boys used it too. White people didn't, ad it's not a term they would be familiar with.

Growing up as a dark skinned girl, I was aware that no boy was going to be interested in me until I was older, as I wasn't the right shade of Black.

This'd descriptors are not appropriate for general use, no matter what your DDs friend expresses she's comfortable with, and I certainly wouldn't be encouraging it. It's a bit like "my Black friend says it's ok to use the N word." Although obviously not as offensive.