"Black Love"

[Rege]

I'm black and I'm hearing this increasingly being used when referring to two black people dating, or just a black couple. But what does it actually mean? how is black love different to any other love between two people? can someone in the know please explain?

My understanding is that it is celebrating positive Black relationships (inc. Black fathers and mothers) or family units. I think in the US (and maybe the UK) too, it's not common to see Black men with Black women (on screen, music videos, real life etc) so 'Black love' is just a way to celebrate that. Also i think there is a stereotype of Black men not knowing how to being or show love, or being deadbeat dads, and Black love highlights the opposite.

This is my understanding of the term.

That all makes perfect sense now. Thanks for explaining it so well. So does there have to be a 'black woman' in the relationship for it to qualify as black love?

erm...I would say yes. Black love encompasses Black women being loved by Black men. I'm not sure if this term is also used in the LGBT community though.

@patcarmichaelenergy

My understanding is that it is celebrating positive Black relationships (inc. Black fathers and mothers) or family units. I think in the US (and maybe the UK) too, it's not common to see Black men with Black women (on screen, music videos, real life etc) so 'Black love' is just a way to celebrate that. Also i think there is a stereotype of Black men not knowing how to being or show love, or being deadbeat dads, and Black love highlights the opposite.

This is my understanding of the term.

I agree with this interpretation, particularly in Western countries. Speaking more to the UK, as that's my experience, statistically over 50% of Black Caribbean men have a white partner, less so African men, but they are catching up. I understand that statistics for Black women with non-Black partners are much lower, which indicates Black women predominantly look for Black male partners, but due to the above, are increasingly searching outside their race.

When you consider Black men who have senior level jobs, or are wealthy in some other way, say through football, music or have another successful career, you'd be hard pushed to find one with a Black female partner.

Black love is a way of celebrating the union between two Black partners, and when I say Black, that would include those who define themselves as such (e.g. I am aware some mixed race people do so, but other don't). I believe Black Love to be a whole movement in the US, though I don't know much about it.

Also, this:

www.essence.com/love/we-asked-10-couples-what-black-love-means-to-them-and-their-answers-will-move-you/

@Rege

That all makes perfect sense now. Thanks for explaining it so well. So does there have to be a 'black woman' in the relationship for it to qualify as black love?

Yes both parties have to Black for it to qualify as Black love. I think @patcarmichaelenergy explained it quite well.

I've not been in serious long-term relationship with a non-black person.

My thoughts about black love are that both partners need to be black. I'm curious about what other possible versions could be. I think black love includes LGBT relationships, too.

For me, black on black relationships are harder because of how racism impacts etch partner, their families of origin, and their birth children. For example, I remember my mum and dad facing severe money struggles because of racism and insecurity in their jobs. This impacted the mortgage, this impacted shopping, this impacted where we lived, this meant no holiday.s this meant corn beef and cabbage over and over again. Gosh, so much, this doesn't scratch the surface. So when two black people manage to stay together through all of this. Wow. Just wow.

On the other hand, I have also felt more pressure to stay in my relationship because of the low expectations for us and our children.

It's complicated.

I didn't think of that aspect @Sugarintheplum great point!

I actually start from @Sugarintheplum's conclusion.

I feel that in the Western world Black men are the less romantic of available men. If the relationship breaks they tend to not prioritise remaining in their children's lives. Black women in relationships however tend to be in a relationship with a man of the same race. In Western countries they could choose different but seldom do even though there're many more challenges to the relationship. Also, in recent past there were lots of stories about "struggle love" sort of like what you what on Blue Therapy. To counter this many now choose to make a point of celebrating black couples acknowledging the difficulties they face.
I participated in a Nigerian University Alumni conference on marriage last weekend and even today many of the men still hold on to the belief that they're naturally polygamous and so the fact that they're married to one woman is a frustration in itself. Coupled with living in countries where women are granted significant rights by the society and judicial system.