Thoughts

[Roastednotsalt]

m.youtube.com/watch?t=347&v=Rdl3vBThu_4&feature=youtu.be

I’ve watched this and I wanted to share it’s quite long and there’s various points mentioned.

One part that stuck out for me was when the woman stated about people going back to their home Country and why do you think people come back.. “England is the best to live”... I was a little shocked a that part I think she is forgetting nobody really wants to leave their “home” and these Countries are often 3rd world!

Bump

Hi OP. I watched some of this yesterday and have been reserving comment.

My thoughts with the caveat that I only got through the first 20 minutes:

I think she highlights the issues with growing up mixed race well. I do take issue with her saying black people don't want to hear about mixed race issues. I think black people, women in particular take issue with mixed race people using their experience as a mixed race person to downplay or dismiss racism "because it never happened to me", black people must be lying/playing the victims etc., while refusing to acknowledge they have privilege and society will not treat them as an unambiguously black person.

I would never tell anyone how to identify themselves, but I do think mixed race is a separate identity different from being black and it is okay to acknowledge that, they are those who see themselves as black and others who see themselves as mixed race/biracial or even identifying more with white people which is all okay, because it is their lived experience.

Because being black is the only racial identity a black person has, they can't walk into or choose to be mixed race, no they are black, but when you can walk between spaces it is up to you to be respectful of the space you are entering and the inclusivity of the black community.

Even Zendaya said “I am Hollywood’s, I guess you could say, acceptable version of a black girl and that has to change.”

and

“I feel a responsibility to be a voice for the beautiful shades my people come in. Unfortunately, I have a bit of a privilege compared to my darker sisters and brothers,” she said. ” ... Can I honestly say that I’ve had to face the same racism and struggles as a woman with darker skin? No, I cannot. I have not walked in her shoes and that is unfair of me to say. But I’m completely behind that woman. I want to be a part of the movement and growth. And if I get put in a position because of the color of my skin where people will listen to me, then I should use that privilege the right way.”

I think that is why people may point out that your views are not wholly representative as a mixed race person if you assume your experience is that of other black people and they just haven't worked hard enough, not that black people withdraw and put their support on mixed race people based on "how cool they are". Having parents and grandparents who have at various different times lived under the apartheid system, I have mixed race family members who take offence at being called black because of the racial system that existed under that government and the negative connotations they associate with being black. So I have always subscribed to the belief, that mixed race people identify themselves as I take that cue. MM considers herself biracial so that is what I will call her not black, whereas Zendaya and Obama consider themselves black so that is what I call them.

I didn't get to the quotes you mentioned but I would find them offensive.

Hi.

The quotes was that the woman in the video spoke upon when people come from the motherland to live in UK. Lin Mei claimed that UK was better than Africa/Caribbean and that’s why people had left their motherland. I wasn’t offended I just didn’t agree with her on that part. I think Lin Mei forgets that there is no welfare system so life obviously is harder than UK... and that’s why a lot of people have left their home.

I have now watched the whole interview and it was very interesting. The end part spoke upon Single mothers and how we view the government as our man! I had to laugh how it was worded and as sad as it is I agree to some extent, sad that it’s a big problem in the black community too

I believe her view as a mixed race person because she told it from her own experience and that is fine. On the whole though I’m not sure the majority of mixed race people feel as she does. Lin Mei’s story of growing up seemed to have had an effect on her as there was racial conflict on both sides. In the interview it showed the mother briefly... I know you shouldn’t judge but the mother seemed to identify clearly as a white woman how could she say to her own daughter how can you be a black girl but I don’t have black in me (her mum is 1/2 white and 1/2 Asian).

I agree with some mixed race people identifying as black or mixed race. I think how and who you have been around plays a big part in this too.

Definitely her lived experience is her lived experience and valid. I don't dispute that.

I am quite familiar with her mother's viewpoint as my nieces' mother tells them the same. She is white and their father is black. I don't really have an opinion on this as it is her mother's feelings and it really isn't my place to have an opinion.

I take issue with the idea that single mothers are a black issue. I would like to know what the statistics are re: this and absent black fathers. I only became aware of the trope that black women were single mothers on TV as a child because my experience was the exact opposite with all the women in my family and all the black women in my community married both in the UK and abroad. Most of the children I met whose parents were divorced were non-black and it was very much discouraged even as a child I remember this, divorce or children out of marriage were definitely looked down upon. I ascribe that to my African heritage probably.

My experience is not universal obviously, but I think going on about black single mothers as a unique situation is belying the socio-economic reasons that this happens if it is indeed more prevalent than other races.

I think it also discourages women to leave abusive and unhappy marriages or where there is infidelity. I left DH last year and the reason it took me two years to do so was the fear of this black single mother trope and how it would impact DC. He is African too and both his family really blamed me for leaving him despite his indiscretions. The idea of divorce being "unAfrican" and "too progressive". I get digs about it from my family as well. That the responsibility fell to me to make it work. I have heard this said to abused women as well. So can you imagine a black woman in an abusive relationship staying because she will be shamed by family for leaving and shamed by society for being a single black mother as if it is something unique only to black women? I think it is a harmful narrative we ourselves need to be wary of pushing. And the last person to comment on that should be someone who grew up with a non-black single mother, claiming it is a social ill unique to black women

I am a single mother now.

I only got through the first 10 minutes OP. I couldn't watch anymore, as I could predict where it was heading.

What I will say is that from what I saw, and what I have seen of Lin Mei previously (she originally came to public prominence because she said her dark-skinned Black friends were refused entry to a nightclub, while she was allowed in), is that her thoughts are very typical of the views I have heard from mixed race women, particularly those who have a Black father, and non-Black mother.

I had one old acquaintance who had a white English mother, and a Black father from the Caribbean. The Dad had left the mum on her own with a DD and a DS following his numerous affairs. The DD, who I knew, was lighter than Meghan Markle in skin tone, while the DS was more akin to Marvin or Rochelle Humes in skin tone. The DD had been brought up that she was not Black, actively hated Black men, and was actually afraid of them, due to the way her DM had infused her bitterness. I can only imagine what sort of internal confusion this would inflict on the DS, given his DM held these negative views of Black men, yet the world would view him as presenting as one.

From what I have seen, these views are not atypical of people with similar backgrounds to Lin Mei, and as such, I generally don't take them seriously in relation to their views on Black people, while acknowledging they feel it's their lived experience.

@DastardlytheFriendlyMutt Lin Mei got her statics wrong by far. I researched it myself about black single mothers and it was incorrect what she has saying 70% of black households are not single in UK. Your right I can see how this can cause fear to leave a relationship based on the stereotype.

@Starseeking I think what has has a heavy influence (through know fault of her own and has probably been a positive in some ways) is her white side is middle class. This changes the dynamic straight away.

My mother is mixed race and has 4 DC to my dad who is black and regards us all as “full black”. That’s what we all view as selfs as. The white side of the family especially my nana is lovely she would not harm a fly nobody created any “differences” over race. My dads family Grandma & Grandads house was a point of call growing up and my dads family had a lot of influence on us. I don’t remember feeling confused about my heritage in anyway even now. My mother doesn’t either I think she may be of been influenced by the black side too. Even though my mothers parents were never really together she would go as a child to her fathers and my mums step mum was black also.

I can see how Lin Mei’s view may not be taken as serious too.

If you are going to speak so confidently on an issue about black people claiming to be black, at least get your stats right.

I really can't abide the anti-blackness coming from a mixed race person purporting to be black herself. It's not okay. If you need to have therapy to heal from your upbringing do so, but don't bring all black women into it, particularly when you yourself grew up with a non-black single mother🙄😑.

I can't even be bothered to finish it now.

I was reading a thread in which the OP was saying she was mixed race and tired of being called black.

Fair enough, but lots of comments from white posters saying how racist it is, black people are the usual culprits - basically pushy black people are the reason white people assume mixed race people are black. Lots of white mums with mixed race children angrily voicing their opinion over this as 'erasure of their white identity'.

I'm confused as the one drop rule came about from white people refusing to acknowledge anything other than the black heritage a person has that disqualified them from being white. How does this then shift to being black people's fault for inclusivity, sharing our identity to blackness comes in all shades. White people certainly didn't do this. Whiteness most definitely does not come in all shades -a mixed race person unless white passing would never be allowed to identofy as white or tick the white box for ethnicity, yet despite being black being all inclusive, black people are the racist divisive ones who insist on claiming everyone as black.

The caucasity of it all. You can't win

Everyone’s experiences will be different. MN is ridiculous at times and does not reflect real life this is a major draw back I find.

I have never heard a mixed race person say those views out loud that they are tired of being referred to as black... I know some people may just want to be referred to as mixed race. I suppose it is their choice.

I don’t want to cause a divide but if the black community were to be shipped on boats we would all be going together (mixed and black people). That is the way I view things so it’s pointless arguing. It is what it is!