This board exists primarily for the use of Black Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.
This board exists primarily for the use of Black Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.
Black Mumsnetters
What would you think
TrinidadQueen · 22/12/2020 17:14
About this text exchange?
'I will drop Anna's gift as soon as I can for Christmas. I have been ill and also made redundant. My colleague, Lucy also died so haven't been up and about much.'
'Thanks, you didn't have to do that. I was wondering about your job, it looked like it was on it's knees the last time I saw it. Who is Lucy?
Hope your illness not too bad.'
Starseeking · 22/12/2020 21:47
I'd think the responder either read the initial text in a hurry, and answered with the first thing that came into their head, or they did read it fully, and are not that fussed, and are actually a bit rude.
TrinidadQueen · 22/12/2020 22:45
Not best of friends but was shocked at the lack of sympathy and thought.
maggiethecat · 23/12/2020 00:37
Insensitive at best. It's a busy time of year but it would have been better for her to not reply until she could have given you more attention.
TrinidadQueen · 23/12/2020 07:47
I feel very sad. It took a lot of courage to tell her in the first place. I would never have brushed her off in the same way.
Starseeking · 23/12/2020 09:37
Sorry to hear that @TrinidadQueen.
Going forward, I'd probably reduce the amount of information I share with this person in future, if only to protect my own feelings xXx
TrinidadQueen · 23/12/2020 11:05
It's very hurtful as I have always been there for them. I thought it was a very cold and uninterested response. Sadly, I have come to expect this yet I have seen her be the opposite way with others so maybe I am just not seen as not good enough to treat well. 
Thanks for the warm words x
Dastardlythefriendlymutt · 23/12/2020 11:32
sorry Trini
How awfu! I hope you feel better soon.
Definitely second what Star said to protect your own feelings.
Starseeking · 23/12/2020 11:58
I am just not seen as not good enough to treat well.
Please do not internalise how this person has treated you. This is their issue, not yours. Do not accept their behaviour as an invalidation of your self.
You are worthy, important, valuable and should be treasured. If this person cannot see that, it is their loss and you'd do well to move on from them.
TrinidadQueen · 23/12/2020 12:12
Thank you. Sounds silly but your words move me to tears.
Sugarintheplum · 23/12/2020 12:27
@TrinidadQueen
Of course, we are not established friends, but do tell us more if you would like. It sounds like a very rough time you are going through. I find that awful news and events tend to clump together like this and sometimes it just feels like we are taking a pounding up against the rings. People love to say 'oh, the new year will be better', but it doesn't feel like that going into the holidays feeling down and out..
Do tell us if you'd like some sisterly support. Of course, you might not, and that is just fine too.
Starseeking · 23/12/2020 13:42
Sometimes as Black women, we spend so much time keeping our heads above whatever the rest of the world has to throw at us, that we can sometime outwardly maintain a position of strength, and overlook self-care.
It's so important to take time out for yourself, whether that's going for a long walk, doing your hair, nails or make-up, soaking in the bath for an hour, bouncing on a trampoline, reading a book or something else that's just for you.
Whatever makes you feel good, please try and carve out some time to do that, and indulge in the fact that you're putting yourself first for once.
TrinidadQueen · 23/12/2020 16:09
I really appreciate this.
Thank you so much for your support. What lovely people you are to help me like this x
june2007 · 25/12/2020 15:11
A lot of things don,t come over well in texts. What I am getting is they are replying that they are concerned about your illness and your work so they are worried about you, a bit blunt but I wouldn,t think it was rude or offensive. I certainly wouldn,t get offended by this reply.
MiaMarshmallows · 25/12/2020 15:55
Saying 'it looked like it was on it's knees' is a hugely inappropriate thing to say to someone who has lost their job. 🙄
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