Co worker is a nightmare

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi there,

Apologies if this is only to black mumsnetters, I'm half Asian so hope it's ok I post here.

Someone suggested I put my post here,!sorry it's a bit long winded. But hopefully should make sense once you get to the end.

I'm not particularly happy about this tbh and looking for a bit of advice 😊

did you forget the actual post?

Oh gwad yes! 🤣

Here we go...

I'm having a nightmare at work, and need some advice please 😬

I was made redundant recently due to COVID and lucky enough to find something quickly.

It's a local company which is handy as I'm a single parent.

On my first day I was really happy and thought I'd enjoy the job, however it quickly became apparent that my co-worker who I share an office with is a full scale nightmare.

We do the same job and she's having to train me, something it's clear she hates doing. She complains constantly about everything and everyone, she has a difficult family environment which most definitely is affecting her.

She admittedly drinks a bottle of wine every night and most days her moods change rapidly from one minute to the next. It's incredibly hard work and draining working alongside someone like this.

My manager who is her boss seems to get on well with her, they go for cigarette breaks together. But I guess the dynamic is different as that's her boss abs they don't share an office together.

I'm trying to professional and initially we got on well, but she talks a lot and I felt as i'd only been here a couple of weeks it was important I get my head down and work. I want to give the right impression.

On Friday, I had a heap of work to do and kept quiet and I find it easier this way. Today I came into the office and she's moved into another room from me. Apparently this is COVID related, however it's clear she's angry with me and talking to everyone other than me!

It's only a small office of 9 people, I know people understand what she's like but not doing anything about it.

The other thing which happened which I'm really quite upset about, is she said a racist word about the man who works at our local shop. You can guess the word...only issue is I'm half Asian myself and was speachless when we said it 😬

I don't know what to do, I'm in my probationary period and don't feel I can say anything. Plus if I did try already unstable work colleague is going to make my life even more of a nightmare.

Come January I'm looking for a new job, I'm just unsure what to do in the meantime? x

What a nasty woman and I'm sorry to hear you have to work there! I suppose you have 2 options:

1. Tell you manager your concerns and how you feel (including the racism) and that it bothers you. This could lead to some office drama which you need to assess whether or not its worth the headache.

1. Keep your head down and do your work, comfortable in the knowledge you are going to find a new job in January.

It really depends on how strongly you feel about tackling her behaviour. Its not right or appropriate for her to act this way but you sound like your lucky to have gotten a job so quickly and depends if thats worth jeopardising right now. No-one should have to put up with this nonsense and I really feel for you!

Thanks for you response.

My feeling is I don't want to headache or drama. So I'm going to find something else in January and stick it out for the time being. I'm sure this won't be the last of it. I just feel pity for her tbh and think I'll walk with my head held high, let her drown is her own negativity.

Sadly that's the best way of handling it sometimes. You may also get an exit interview when you do leave which is passed to HR, you could mention your concerns about her behaviour and racism then so its not gone unnoticed. If you don't get one you could always email HR on your last working day.

That's what I'm thinking of doing, let them know on my last day 👍 I don't want someone else to have to go through this.

Good luck! I hope you have some leave over the holiday period so you don't have to deal with her!

I do thanks 🙏

I would do both! Keep your head down for now, make sure you've got a job lined up then before you resign I'd make a formal complaint to HR that the woman had made a racist comment. How fucking dare she here away with that?

However, If you don't want the potential confrontation then you could email them after you've resigned and tell them that was one of the reasons you left. Even if she's not disciplined she will at the very least have to sit and squirm as they read out your email to her. That's the very least she deserves.

Good luck with your job search.