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This board exists primarily for the use of Black Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.
Black Mumsnetters
Daughter dad gone AWOL should I be concerned.
Mothertocrazy91 · 15/10/2020 23:15
Daughter (7) dad isn’t the greatest to say the least but I would be here all day If I went in to background. However he is inconsistent with visiting etc and is a bit flakey. Saying this he loves nothing better to do than wind me and make excuses etc so has contact every few weeks over message etc with excuses. Recently we have had to join forces due to us both needing to participate in some tests for daughters health. We had not been arguing, and for the first time in he was being consistent with payments ( said he set up a standing order for every 2 weeks)
Mid August, ( tests were due to be done mid September ) he messaged me saying he had just been discharged as had an accident at work and his arm got infected ( sent photos which were Grim )
I replied nicely saying wow that looks painful how did you do it. This is the last time we have heard from him. He didn’t turn up for tests, he hasn’t even read my mutiple what’s app messages, his phone was originally ringing but then started doing to voicemail straight away and now just saying “ can not connect your call “ we live quite far away from each other and I don’t know any of his friends and quite frankly he hasn’t painted me in a very good light to them.
I have rang the mobile number I once had for his mum but she isn’t answering.
My what’s app messaged have all not been read and no last active on there.
I’m starting to get a bit worried about him.
He does have a history of drugs and as I said has not been the ideal father. Money has gone in to my bank twice this month but I’m not sure if that is a standing order but absolutely 0 word from him.
I suppose I can’t call around professionals because I’m not his next of kin.
My daughter is asking where her dad is ( she is in hospital ) and I literally have no idea what to say. This isn’t so much am I being unreasonable rather than an off load !
rorosemary · 15/10/2020 23:18
Can you ask the police to do a welfare check? Just to make sure he's not lying on the bottom of the stairs?
Redwinestillfine · 15/10/2020 23:19
Didn't want to read and run. Sounds scary op. Have you contacted any friends? Missing persons with Police?
jdoejnr1 · 15/10/2020 23:23
Have you knocked in at his address? What about his social media? Where he works? Etc
Mothertocrazy91 · 15/10/2020 23:25
@Redwinestillfine I have no idea really which his friends are !
The first month I thought he was just being his usual crap self 🙈
However this time feels different If that makes sense like by now he would have responded to a message with an excuse or something.
I have messaged and left voicemails saying DD is not well and have had 0 response. I have messaged in all diff forms saying I am worried about him to so if could just let us know he is ok and silence.
I’m not sure who to ring really with not being his next of kin or even family.
Mothertocrazy91 · 15/10/2020 23:26
@jdoejnr1 I would need a ferry or a plane to get to his house.
His social media, I’m not friends and it is private However he used to Facebook message me and it has no last active and not responding to message there either or reading them.
What’s app the same.
FizzyPink · 15/10/2020 23:27
That does sound odd. Could you message anyone from his social media? Or failing that his work and just say you’re concerned about him?
Butterer · 15/10/2020 23:29
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Icanflyhigh · 15/10/2020 23:29
You don't have to be next of kin or family to request a safe and well check. If you call 101 and explain to the operator,they will take details and refer to the necessary force area.
GalaxyCookieCrumble · 15/10/2020 23:31
If he is anything like mine it's all done for attention. Leave him too it, but if you are unable to settle, contact the Police and let them find him.
Mothertocrazy91 · 15/10/2020 23:31
I have just realised I posted this in the wrong place - I am super sorry !
jdoejnr1 · 15/10/2020 23:31
@Icanflyhigh
Sounds like he's in another country so 101 would be of no use.
FourPlasticRings · 15/10/2020 23:33
I hope your daughter gets out of hospital soon, OP. Must be so stressful for you.
Mothertocrazy91 · 15/10/2020 23:33
@Mumsnorthernmonkey
So up until yesterday I was getting 2 ticks but not turning blue. His phone went from ringing out to going straight to voicemail.
Today his phone is not even going to voicemail and just say can not connect the phone call, now what’s app is just 1 tick.
GalaxyCookieCrumble · 15/10/2020 23:34
@Mothertocrazy91
You don't have to apologise !
Ring the Police @Mothertocrazy91 and tell them what you told us, hope your little girl feels better soon x
rorosemary · 15/10/2020 23:35
Sounds like he's in another country so 101 would be of no use.
Other countries have police too. They need to check if ge isn't dead or needing help in any way.
OP, please contact his local police
NC249 · 15/10/2020 23:39
I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like an anxious time for you. I would maybe try the police as per other people's responses-non emergency number to ask for their advice. I really hope you do hear from him as it must not be nice for both you and your daughter. Not sure how close you were to his mum, but would it be worth popping by to her address to see if she knows where he is?All the best.
PatricksRum · 16/10/2020 01:18
Hi OP,
You mention a ferry/ plane, is dd's dad in the Caribbean/ Africa?
I would note it with his local police force if you can.
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