Those body shape expectations

[allinadaystwerk]

As black women it is often an expectation that we will have a certain body shape.. you know the one, small waist, round high bottom, curves, etc..
What are your thoughts on this?
Do you fit that description and if, like me, you don't, do you feel pressure to?
I am tall and long limbed. I have curves but I'm no beyonce, I like my lil booty🍑 but have sometimes felt the expectation from others to be more 'curvy'. I get over it pretty quick but it's there for sure, more so these days than years ago when big boobs was 'the look'
I love the love for typical black anatomy that is about but sometimes, I cringe at the over sexualisation of black women too not to mention the attempts to mimick or appropriate our natural beauty.

I have that body type and was overly sexualized from an early age because of it. Not being able to wear shorts or short skirts. I hated it. Being made fun of in ballet and having to drop it because of the comments about my bum.

I just wanted a boyish figure for the longest time. I like my shape now, but the current climate has a lot to answer for. I have a big bottom, I also have the thighs, hips and calves (nicely toned) to match. An ex partner was constantly telling me I needed to lose weight in my legs to look like those models. That's what happens when people have BBL and thanks to people like the Kardashians - people start to think you just have an abnormally big butt and unrealistically slender thighs and legs. Very few women have a size 18 butt on size 6/8 legs and why would you want that?

Off topic but I also find it funny that the girls who made fun of my huge lips are so full of lip fillers and now have lips my size or larger. The mind boggles.

@Dastardlythefriendlymutt it is ironic isn't it. I do laugh when I see lip and but fillers and deep deep tans. I guessed always want what we don't have. I was called longy larla, marga darg, lanky and more advice wanted to be small and round😆
Then my curves came in and I just wanted to be a bit shorter. But now I'm old I'm happy for what I got... no choice really.

I just not advice *

There comes a time you need to stop being cruel to yourself and love the skin you are in. Short of surgery and exercise not much else you can do.

I just can't deal with the lip fillers, deep deep tans, adult wanna be baby hairs slicked down and but fillers (blackfishing mess). I almost can't wait for it to pass, then we can be at peace again.

Your right OP. I’m quite curvy and would fall in the bracket you described. Growing up people would comment as my top half is quite small compared to my lower half. As long as your happy OP there’s far too much pressure on women to look a certain way.

I feel like the "typical" black woman anatomy is only appreciated or desired when it's not on a black woman. The hype with JLo, Kim K, Kylie...im yet to see hype around a black woman who has this shape naturally. Serena Williams is treated like shit and has her outfits on the course policed.

I also have massive lips and was called rubber lips on a daily basis at school, now you can't go anywhere without seeing a white woman with what i would call hideous lip fillers.

I'll stress that I dont think white women get thse surgeries to try and be black by the way, but i think because black historically have been hyper sexualised, they've taken these assets to overly sexualise themselves too...unlike black women though they receive praise, fame, attention from it and their hyper sexualisation is adored. I notice that with the surgically enhanced bodies they pose in sexualised ways and become part of the "cool" crowd or popular with black people. These Black people then go on to buy their products, watch their shows etc... these celebs simply take what he have and sell it back to our community. I hate it.

Tbh I didn’t think have a black safe space meant slagging of white women. It’s unnecessary and not what the thread was intended for.

@Windywendys nobody here is making unkind comments to anybody. We are speaking about our own experiences. I’ve re read the few comments on here and I think it’s true what has been written. If it’s making you uncomfortable maybe you need to research a little deeper... because it’s absolutely true what posters have stated.

@Nopenotsureigiveahoot

I feel like the "typical" black woman anatomy is only appreciated or desired when it's not on a black woman. The hype with JLo, Kim K, Kylie...im yet to see hype around a black woman who has this shape naturally. Serena Williams is treated like shit and has her outfits on the course policed.

I also have massive lips and was called rubber lips on a daily basis at school, now you can't go anywhere without seeing a white woman with what i would call hideous lip fillers.

Very true about Serena unfortunately... it’s if your face fits in the celeb world.

@Windywendys yes this is a safe space for me as a black woman to express myself...my posts are not intended to slag off white women. If that's what you took from my post, I would be happy to elaborate on any point i have made

How is talking about my experience of being bullied for naturally having big lips and a curvy figure slagging off white women?

The perpetrators then go on to surgically enhance their appearance to get the same features they bullied me for having and made me feel ashamed of for years and somehow your takeaway is they are the victims?

KMT.

So in other words I cannot talk about my experience or the irony that now something is fashionable these features have now been embraced in case it upsets white people?

So I must not talk about the pain I experienced to avoid criticising the bullies? I must police my tone and feelings in other words I am not free to factually state my experience.

That feels right to you?

@Nopenotsureigiveahoot everything you said is spot on.

I definitely have the stereotypical west African proportions - big bum and hips, small waist. I felt very uncomfortable as a pre teen to suddenly have a woman’s body and growing up in an area with little diversity there was no one that looked like me so I got teased loads. I was miserable and it didn’t help that this was the 90s, so the era of straight up and down figures being prized. Once the internet came along and I could connect with others, and around the time Beyoncé, JLo etc got popular then I slowly learned to accept myself. I love my shape now - just need to get down to a healthier weight!