Mixed toddlers hair, I’m clueless please help!

[Namechange313]

I’ve been searching YouTube/google etc for tutorials, however I can’t find anything to suit my daughters hair type.

She is mixed 1/4 black Caribbean (dads side) he has jet black hair and a full Afro. I am white with straight brown hair.

She’s inherited my colour hair, however her hair type has the same texture and feel as her dads, but the curls are a lot looser. I’m at a loss as to how to style it etc

I feel she looks scruffy everyday as I’ve tried to brush it (I know that’s wrong now) I’ve used various curling creams, I’m confused as to weather I shampoo it every time or just condition? Do I use leave in conditioner? Do I use detangler? Do I dry with a micro fibre towel only? Do I ever brush?

DDs dad has short hair so he doesn’t know how to help either.

I’ve attached pictures of her hair, the last one if when I’ve tried to style it for the day (used hair custard from Rochelle Humes collection) but as you can see it’s just sticking up everywhere and looks untamed.

How can I look after her beautiful hair?

Thank you for reading

Shampoo once a week max. You can give it a 'co-wash' aka conditioner only wash which will freshen it up mid week/as needed. Do not brush when dry only when wet with conditioner in for 'slip'. Her hair is short now but as it gets longer, start from the tip and work to the root to detangle. I dry mine with an old t-shirt or an old beach sarong because they are softer materials and squeeze dont rub, to prevent frizz. But don't dry completely, keep some water in. Use leave in conditioner. Good brands include mixed chics, shea moisture, cantu, aunt Jackie's, aussie - lots of these are available at boots/superdrug or you may have to go a black hair shop depending on your area. If you find this isn't enough you could use a little oil on top as an extra layer to lock in moisture e.g argan, jojoba, jamaican black castor. recommend getting a spray bottle and mixing a conditioner with some water, this can be used to refresh on a morning/when dry. Good brushes include tangle teasers, denman brushes and wide tooth combs (as her hair gets longer). You can also finger comb. To style - wet hair, leave in conditioner, detangle, gentle scrunch in some oil if needed, leave to air dry. Or spray with bottle mix as recommended above to refresh, light finger comb/detangle and leave. You can also curl the strands around your finger to define them when wet.

It is a shame that you feel that her hair looks scruffy and untamed. Pinky has offered really good advice and I would second keeping a spritzy bottle with water and conditioner mixed together on days when you do not wish to add more product to your dc hair.

In addition to the advice given please include books about her curly hair. Hair Love is a great book to read with her.
Good luck

I honestly don't think he hair looks scruffy. Just my opinion but to some extent I dont think a child's hair should always be in neat done up styles. They're children. Keep her curls moisturised daily with a light product you can spritz and run a wide tooth comb through it. I woud wash and condition it once a week. You can also buy books on girls with curly hair, try not to show your frustration (not saying you do)

She has beautiful curls!

And I don't see messy hair at all, curly hair is different to straight hair and mixed curly and Afro hair is also different, we can't apply the same thoughts of what should be done to each and all hair is still different so what works for one person might not fit another, it's a path of trial and error really.

For my toddler mixed race son I only wash twice a week maximum, daily each morning we do a section by section wet spray and cantu for kids detangler spray with wide tooth comb which helps shape and style the curls a little, but by the end of the day they'll be looser and a bit frizzier anyway

Her hair isn't scruffy.

She has fine density hair like my DD, mixed ethnicity, and myself, black, as you can see her scalp. And this means you don't have to spend ages sectioning your DD's hair to get it saturated with product. However, you need to be careful about using oils on her hair as it can get too lank. I don't use oils on my DD hair for this reason.

Get yourself a spray bottle. Every morning I spray my DD's hair with water with a small amount of conditioner mixed in so it is damp. Then I run some Cantu Care for Kids Curling Cream through her hair and comb it with an afro comb, in the way Pinkyandthebrainz describes. How much curling cream to use is just trial and error.

In regards to washing try to go down to once a week using a conditioning shampoo and conditioner. If this doesn't work as she gets sand and other stuff in her hair add in one more shampoo wash and condition maximum. Any more washes should be conditioner washes as curly hair gets dry if shampooed too much. The main thing to bear in mind is be stingy with shampoo but generous with conditioner, and apply conditioner to the ends not her scalp.

Your DDs beautiful hair is like my sister's hair when she was a toddler.
My mum just let it grow naturally & washed it nearly every day with Johnson & Johnson's Baby Shampoo as that's all there was in those days!!

But as a teenager with hair that she personally found difficult to cope with, my sister went to a hairdresser which recommended KMS shampoos & conditioners which were amazing for the condition of it, pricey though.
Have a look online.

After years of chemical straightening etc to 'fit in' she now feels confident enough to let the curl grow through & is using Aveda products which are organic. But again, expensive.
She does still wash her hair most days.

Don't use a hairbrush; only use a wide toothed comb or Afro comb or maybe a tangle teezer.
My own hair is European but is naturally knotty so I use Charles Worthington detangling spray - £3.99 from Boots I'd recommend it for any hair type.

Please do not use a tangle teazer on her hair. Her hair is not thick enough to use one. Use a wide-tooth comb.

Oh and if you don't understand why Inpensity said your words are offensive go to the website naturallycurly.com and have a read of people with all types of curly and kinky hair, particularly afro hair, struggles to be accepted in society. Your daughter needs you to use positive language and act positively when doing her hair.

Your daughter has lovely hair. There are lots of hair care videos on you tube if you do a search for mixed race children's hair care you should find some

I'm not an expert but they look really soft loose curls to me like I had when I was a child. My son is mixed race too but his are a lot tighter. I really wouldn't call them messy or untamed I think that's really disparaging and will lead to your daughter not loving her hair.

I would use cantu leave in conditioner and just let her hair be beautiful and loose - not sure what styling a little girl needs?

This could be a good book to buy 🙏 https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-we-love-our-hair/dp/191633640X/ref=sr11_1?dchild=1&keywords=how+we+love+our+hair&qid=1599751390&sr=8-1

I will start by saying I know nothing about mixed race hair, but your daughters hair doesn't look scruffy. She has curls that are only just growing in. It is how her hair is meant to be.

Wash it less. My daughter has a similar hair texture and it looks better with minimal products being used. Just a bit of conditioner every now and then.

Only comb it when it’s wet and probably best to give her a morning bath if so.

And I’ll also add, no it’s not scruffy!!

You daughter has lovely curly hair. I think because it’s quite short it doesn’t really need anything doing to it in terms of tying it up/styling at the moment. As long as you keep it well conditioned it should look fine. Because her hair is short and curly, it will stick up a little bit, rather than sitting tight to her head, but it still looks neat and pretty.