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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

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Original poster

11mth old ds and due again in February - Help!!!!

11 replies

samanthajm · 19/07/2005 23:17

My son will be a year next week to my ex partner and ive just found out that im 8 weeks pregnant to my new partner even though i was on pill. He is very excited and im depressed and worried. I worry about small town gossip and how i cope with two babies and a business.Im not sure how life will be with an 18mth old and a newborn.Do you have to settle for a twin buggy?do i have to put my son in a bed before he is ready?At the moment i just dont want this baby (how bad is that)I cant see how ill love it as much as my son who was a real wanted baby.I was also still suffering PND with him.

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Chuffed · 20/07/2005 09:12

Samanthajm, there are quite a few people around with a similar age gap, I'm due in Jan and will have 22 mths and there are a couple with a similar gap to you due in Jan. Join in the Due Feb 06 thread.
I'm resigning myself to the fact that I probably will need a double buggy of some sort but that decision is a tough one.
Whatever decision you make needs to be right for you even though it might be hard with small town gossip how would your partner cope it you didn't keep the baby. Are you getting help with the PND?
Sorry I can't be too much help but I'm sure others on here might be able to help more.

CherryEm1 · 20/07/2005 17:11

I am in exact position as you although i am due when baby 1 will be 20months. Also suffered pnd never been diagnosed or treated though cos the appointment i finally plucked up the courage to make for it went on explaining to the doc i was pregnant again. Didnt want him to think i therefore didnt want baby 2. I'm fortunate that im now married but money is very tight and hubby works long hours. I was looking at tandem buggies, they seem to be best as a newborn can go in back and you can fit it through doors easier. however im not rushing out to buy one, im gonna try carrying little'un in a papoose and bigger baby in buggy and see how that goes/lasts!
i sometimes think that i dont want number 2 cos i worry my wee girl will miss out by having to share me so young, but then i see other people coping and figure itll hopefully come naturally

ballerina · 12/10/2006 12:04

Hi I need some advice because my husband wants to start trying for no. 2 now and I'm really not sure I can cope with having an 18mth and a newborn, how do you all do it? Is it too close together? Any advice would be great.
thanks in advanced

jasnDISMemBERED · 12/10/2006 12:24

Hello everyone with small gaps
I have 16 months between my first two, and there are quite a few on here with small gaps. ( If you search the archives you'll find quite alot of threads on this subject.)

Those of you with pnd, please see your gps for treatment, even while pregnant, as it is something that will make things harder with two.

Sling/single buggy is good initiall, but with a gap this small you will probably need a double unless you drive everywhere (I used mine for over a year full time and occasionally after that)

Love - even if you feel nothing while pregnant, it is different once the baby is actually born (again, pnd will affect you so get it treated!)

I had 2 cots for mine (dd1 didn't waklk until dd2 was 2 months old)

In the long term, it is great having two close together, but it was very hard work for the first year . Good luck

mumandlovingit · 12/10/2006 13:18

there's only 13 months between my two.my son started walking 2 weeks before i had my second.he was still o formula milk due to feeding problems, didnt sleep through the night either!

my point is, i coped.they are now 4 and 5 and i wouldnt change them for the world. they argue like any brothers do but they love each other to bits and are so close.

i had two cots but they didnt go in the same room until 2nd was 18 months.i had a side by side double buggy and found it brilliant.i also found i could use alot of ds1's things for ds2 being such a close age.

you do cope.i had undiagnosed pnd with ds1.i felt if i went to the doctor they would say im unfit and take him away so i kept quiet and eventually got through things.with ds2 i didnt get it as bad.its only looking back that ive realised i should've asked for help.please make sure you get it if you need it.

my friend had depression whilst she was pregnant and pnd after.it is very common.

congratulations on the pregnancies.yu will cope.during the hard times dont be afraid to ask for help.im sure there are plenty of people waiting to.

i wish you all the best with your pregnancies.

MKW · 19/10/2006 15:36

it may sound weird or funny - i'm due this feb and my DH and i would like to have another right away - we like the thought of having two close together. i obviously know it would be a lot of work. any thoughts or suggestions on improving chances of conceiving soon after birth? i've read conflicting information that breastfeeding protects against conceiving again so soon - as a natural form of birth control, but i've also read that women are more likely to ovulate soon after birth. thoughts?

MCMURPHY · 17/01/2007 21:33

My daughter will be 14mths when baby no2 arrives. The travel system we bought (and spent a fortune on) will now be redundant!!! Can anyone pass on their experiences as to which double buggy is the best for a newborn?? Most grateful

mum03 · 27/01/2007 20:09

I have a 15month gap between my two and would say don't necessarily go out spending on a double buggy... We used a baby carrier/sling and the older "baby" in the normal single buggy to start, then added on a "buggy board" as my older one started to walk, and it worked out fine. Much easier to get around with a single buggy than it is with a double buggy.

LmO · 09/02/2007 10:50

I've just found out I'm pregnant and my 1st child is 3.5mths old. I feel irresponsible because of the risks of pregnancies being so close together - lack of nutrients available to 2nd baby & increased risk of premture bith/low birth weight etc. Feel guilty because we should have been more careful. Feel happy because after trying for baby no. 1 for 3.5 years now we're having another - confused, embarrassed, anxious and a little bit excited!!!!!!!

Trimum2 · 14/02/2007 11:17

LmO - My mum had 11 months between my two sisters (no.3 and no.4 in the family). I know she was shocked at the time. Apparently - aged 7 I cried when she told me the news and said that she couldn't have another baby as she already had too many!

Anyway, it was tough I'm sure on her at the time, but now I know that now she wouldn't change it for the world. And seeing how close my sisters are - I'm quite envious! They are like twins. The bond they have is so close. Your kids will be very lucky.

kittykat77 · 14/02/2007 12:17

LMO,
I am pregnant and 2nd baby is due 11 days b4 DD's first birthday, so I think we will have a very similar gap to you!
Was a bit of a shock at first, as we were also not exactly trying for another that early either, but have now got used to the idea! I know it will be alot of work, but there are advantages to having them close together - they will both be into similar things as they are so close.
Whatever happens, we always seem to muddle through...

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