How soon to visit somone at home after a birth?

[MsF]

reason is for all my ds's i stayed in hospital for at least 3 days...and now it seems you are home within hours...

so ALL my visitors came whilst i was in hospital.

I have a neighbour who had her baby early saturday morning...and was home that lunchtime. Her DH is home now for 3 weeks... she has had a housefull of close family all weekend...

...and i'm wondering when to pop round...

EVERYTIME in the past i've visited friends in hospital!

If it were you... what would you do? I don't want to appear ignorant...but they are a very quiet couple and we only ever speak 'over the garden fence'...so its not someone i am used to popping in to see.

I'd say not until you're invited.
Maybe pop a note in the door to ask if there's anything you can do for them and that you'd love to visit whenever they decide they're 'at home to callers'?

what puddock said. if it's not someone you are used to popping round to see then you may not be wanted for a couple of weeks. they aren't really 'friends' of yours are they? i'd have been quite frankly horrified if any neighbours called round in the first week.

pop a card through, maybe a small gift.

-thats a great idea...thanks

You're right, there has been a huge shift and it for does cause problems, especially for Mums and MILs who stayed in hospital for at least a week and who equate home with baby to everything fine and back to normal.

Anyway, to answer your question, I think that it really does depend on each individual woman. I personally feel really beaten up and emotional, and need some quiet time after labour, but some women would like the opportunity to show off the baby. I would avoid days 3 and 4 like the plague (in case of baby blues) and then ask the DH to let you know when she is feeling up for visitors. My top tip is to phone just before you leave the house and check that it is still OK - things can change quite quickly from OK to baby refuses to latch on, has explosive nappy all over self and the parents and the Mum bursts into tears. Not that that ever happened to me of course.

I think i'll pop out and get a helium ballon...and attatch a card...and pop it over the back fence! (our kitchens face eachother- but there is a 6ft fence... so we often pop parcels delivered whilst they are out over the fence...so that should make them smile!!!!)

yes that sounds nice.

(i'm so excited !!!)

Maybe call them..... We LOVED having visitors!

....especially is they washed up, brought food or took the baba out for a quick walk!

...yes the food thing was great after my babes were born..its easy to discover you have 'nothing in the cupboard' to eat in those early days..after visitors have pinched all your biscuits!

i think why i am so keen...is they were not very sociable till she got pregnant...and especially over the last trimester, we have had some lovely 'bonding' conversations...over the fence....

its funny how 'joining the club' bonds us all!

That sounds a nice plan (balloon and card and asking when OK to come round). One of my neighbours (friendly but hardly know) came round literally the minute I got home from hospital and my parents arrived. I had just got DDs car seat into the hall, turned round and our neighbour was standing behind us! Lovely to have someone interested but I did want that time to ourselves and I was so tired I couldn't remember her name!

A pack of biscuits or a meal to put in the freezer is always good too!

i am so happy!

due to 'high winds' i had to take the card and balloon round to their front door!

Her mum & dad came to the door and INVITED ME IN!!!
(she had told them that IF i were to pop round to send me on up!)

I didn't have a cuddle as she was being BF.

so all my worry this morning for nothing!

No, not for nothing! Better to err on the sid of caution than have a new Mum stressed out of her box with too many visitors. But you were sensible and she was happy to see you so a win-win situation.

christ you just couldn't keep away could you?