Due May 2009 Hairy Mary!... We're on the final stretch!

[Belgianchocolates]

Thought I'd better start the new thread before it was too late. Here we go!

[CoteDAzur]

Blotted - Did you have an episiotomy with second baby? I am told that because I had one with DD, my chances of having/needing another one is significantly higher this time because scar tissue doesn't stretch as well.

[LoobyLou36]

thank god your on here belgian appreciate all your advice

I want to avoid a c-section if at all possible as I know a couple of women that have taken quite a while to get over them, and after LO is born I will not have DH at home to help for more than a couple of days- that's why I was so worried when told I had GD

[chocolatebunnies]

cote your message makes it sound very scarey, with my first labour, i had to have the works with my stitches, the whole hog, but i never had any problems with them, only the fact that they weren't done very well, but they weren't infected and healed quickly, i went home the next day and was mobile quite quickly, but of course if a c/section is going to be better for both me and baby then i will have no option, so i will have to do my research.

On cutting back, Im a coeliac, so I already don't eat the things that you listed! The only thing I can think of is chocolate, bloody stuff, why do they make it taste so good!

blotted thank you for your positive message, i feel rather sheepish now seeing that you had a 12 lb'r! Can I ask how long your labours were, and which you found the 'easiest' please?

belgian is there any truth in my midwife saying that because I've already had one natural birth, to a large baby, that i'll be able to do the same again? what are the chances of something going wrong as such?

[CoteDAzur]

choc - What you can ask to do is something called a "pelvis scan". It is a low-level x-ray (safe for baby) done in late pregnancy, which shows baby in your pelvis, with all measurements. The idea is that from this doctor can see if your baby can safely pass through your pelvis.

Apparently, having had one big baby, having another one is not as hard (anecdotal evidence). I confused you with someone else earlier (also with choc in name) and thought this was your first baby.

[chocolatebunnies]

cote will i need to see a dr or midwife to ask for that?

i guess as the first has already made room, the second should just pop out (!)

nope, this is my 2nd, first was 8lb10oz, i managed to have her naturally, although she was laying back - to - back, so it took a long time and alot of hard work, and i guess i was just lucky that all i did do was tear and not have anything worse.

the midwife did say that if i do have this one naturally and tear then they will be able to 'fix' what they didnt do right the first time, without me having to go back in for surgery, so i guess thats got to be a positive, would be nice to be normal again!

[FiKelly]

belgian I am very keen to avoid another cs for the simple reason that it is not a straightforward option for me. I am very ill will all anaesthesia and take a long time to 'come round'. with ds I can't remember the 5 or 6 hrs after my cs as i was not 'with it' and that was with only a spinal! I was not conscious for the 1st and 2nd breastfeeds and dh and mw had to latch ds on for me... There were other problems after my cs but no need to go into them here. Suffice to say the operation itself was textbook... it was the after that went badly for me personally. I am open minded this time. I'm aiming for a vbac but if i need another cs we'll cross that bridge when we get to it...

[CoteDAzur]

I don't know how it works in the UK. Here, we are followed by obstetricians throughout the pregnancy anyway, so it was my doctor who prescribed it last time.

Yes, second births are apparently easier, but what if this baby is bigger than first? Or if his head is bigger or his shoulders wider than first baby? It is a good idea to check how baby measures wrt your pelvis (opening & angles) if this baby looks big, imo.

[pulapula]

I will say one more thing about the natural vs section debate, and then hopefully not any more.

I requested a cs second-time round- it was a difficult decision because i'm sure my problems were caused by the back-to-back issue which led to hours of pushing and required a rotational ventouse and not the fact my DD was 4kg, so chances were, it would be a lot easier second time round (especially as 2nd deliveries are much quicker and things are already "looser"). But i didn't want to take the risk. My cs was great, really "easy" and no pain for the first 24 hours, until the pain relief wore off. Then I couldn't stand totally upright for a good few weeks, had difficulty walking even short distances. The pain wasn't too bad but i did have to be careful (I had a setback when i did too much buggy-pushing), and i am not looking forward to having 2 under 5s to deal with as well as a newborn, not being able to drive etc. But i have my DH for the first 3 weeks, and my mum is coming for week 4. I do not want a VBAC, which again is a personal choice.

I think what i am trying to say is its a personal choice in terms of wanting to try for a natural delivery or a section, and you need to feel positive about your decision- there may be complications either way, but you have to do what feels right for you, physically and emotionally.

For me a cs feels best, but it is by no means an easy decision, and not without its own complications and recovery period.

[FiKelly]

Pula i agree whichever delivery option we all choose it is never an easy one to make. I've decided to enter the final few weeks till due date with an open mind and if i do get my straightforward vabc that's great but will face anything else as and if it happens. There is always the chance my pre-eclampsia will happen at the last gasp again like it did with cs... so i need to be open minded.

[FiKelly]

sorry meant ds not cs! hit wrong key

[pulapula]

I will add (I know I said i wasn't going to say any more) that I was incontinent after DD but that my consultant was clear that you can have incontinence after an elective cs too - so everyone please join me in a squeeze and hold and repeat 10 times.

[Gert2a]

I keep expecting all this talk of scary births and CSs etc to scare the heebyjeebies out of me, but it's not. First time birth and not a clue what to expect. Just going with the flow. Baby is currently breech (34 +2) and has been since midwife started feeling back at 28ish weeks. So I guess if baby stays that way I'm going to have decisions to make re EVC (?), breech birth, cs etc... Anyone have any experience of similar and how you came to your decisions?

Managed to rearrange my spa visit which I missed on sunday due to going into maternity triage, to this morning. Had very nice facial, leg and foot massage and manicure.

Going back to last nights conversation... no cocktail for me, just a very large pint of cold crisp lager! (And a bag of dry roasted nuts). Heaven!!

[Belgianchocolates]

cote What I'm trying to say is that you're taking your personal experience and generalising it. Saying that if mw or drs say thay you can have it naturally will mean that they'll cut you up or something similar is not very nice, no and is more than just advise.
Yes, they say larger babies have a larger risk of shoulder dystocia, but half of babies with shoulder dystocia weigh less than 4kg (which is not considered large) and only 4% of large babies (i.e. over 4kg) suffer shoulder dystocia (Johnstone and Myerschough, 1998), so the risk is not as big as you might think.

chocbunnies if 1 bigger baby passed through your pelvis then there isn't really any need to do a pelvic scan. Your pelvis has proven that a baby that size fits. They've stopped doing routine pelvometric scans because as I said before labour is more complicated than just the size of the baby and these scans weren't giving a very accurate picture about the birth. There are lots of factors at play. E.g. If baby is small enough, but gets itself in a funny position, then it wont fit either. Generally, yes, 2nd babies are easier than first ones. The labours are generally shorter and the pushing stage is shorter too, but of course everyone's experience is different and you might meet people who didn't experience this.

I totally agree with pula and fi that whatever choice you'll make for the birth, it's got to feel good for you, but you've got to have objective information to make that decision and it's not helpful to have people come out with their scary stories. When I was pregnant with no1, I purposely blocked those stories out, because they weren't helpful were only making me worried about the birth.

[Belgianchocolates]

Oh and pula you're right there about the incontinence. Just the weight of the pregnancy is enough to weaken your pelvic floor. So I've been squeezing and holding a lot this pregnancy and I've had less wee trouble this time around than with the other 2 (though sneezing is starting to get dangerous )

Now I will leave you all with the c/s v. v/b dilemma for now, I've got to pick up the dcs. It's not easy, but there's no 1 answer fits all solution in this one. All you can do is make the decision that's right for you and your family and be happy with that decision. It doesn't matter how your baby came into the world in the long run, because you'll love him/her just the same.

[Belgianchocolates]

Why did my italic come out bold? I must have done stars by accident

[chocolatebunnies]

ooooooooooooooooo you big tease dandy

[FiKelly]

dandy now i'll definitely have to nab the laptop from dh tonight!!

[Blottedcopybook]

Cote No, I only needed an episiotomy with my first son and only because of the shoulder dystocia. The episiotomy couldn't have been done better, my stitches were excellent and healed well and when I delivered my second baby I had no episiotomy and didn't tear.

My second son was induced and I had an epidural which meant I was only 'thawing out' as I reached 10cm dilated and I was guided through the pushing process. My midwife told me afterwards that the reason I hadn't torn was because I had followed her instructions to the letter (pushing when she said, panting when she said) which gave my vagina the chance to stretch and accommodate my son as he was delivered.

Chocbunnies It's hard to say how long my labours were as two were induced but I can give you a run down of how they proceeded?

#1 - I felt a sense of imminent 'something' on the Friday. No pain or anything, but I knew something was going to happen. On the Saturday I lost my plug at lunchtime and was having period-type pains in the afternoon, nothing terrible - more niggles than actual pain.
On the Sunday afternoon I was anxious as I was still leaking fluid so we went to get checked out and I was 2cm dilated with my forewaters gone so they kept me in. Still no contractions at this point.
By 9am Monday I was having fairly regular contractions. Midwife examined me at noon, I was 5cm dilated (and now officially classed as in labour) so was sent to labour ward and DS was delivered just before 6pm.

So, #1 who weighed 12lb 3oz was officially a 6 hour labour.

With DS2 I was induced for being post-dates, my waters were broken for me at 2pm when I was barely 2cm dilated after three applications of prostin to try and get my cervix to start dilating. I did not cope well with the attempts at induction and needed an epidural pretty quickly after that, the midwives waited until I got the epidural before putting me on the synto drip but I had a pretty violent reaction to the drip and went really cold so they had to turn it down and pile blankets on me. They couldn't turn the drip up (and hence progress my labour) because every time they did I'd have this reaction so it was around 9pm when they turned my epidural down and son was born just after half past. So again, fairly short 'labour' there although it was all medically managed.

My waters broke at 35w with #3 but my labour was successfully stopped. I needed to have steroids to make sure her lungs were ready and our medical team decided to get her out at 37w as they felt the risk of infection then was a greater concern than her staying put. Had a couple of days of prostin and kicked into labour myself, needed no assistance or pain relief and we were allowed to labour and deliver in the birthing pool. First contraction of her labour was at around 2am, she was delivered just after 5.30am and I honestly spat her out it was so easy

[Blottedcopybook]

Gert2a DS2 was breech until 36 weeks, don't panic yet! There's still time for your baby to turn. Have you looked at the spinning babies website for hints and tips?

My baby is transverse just now so I'm hoping she turns as my consultant is apparently very anti-ECV and quite scalpel happy. I really don't want a CS

[MatthewAndBumpsMummy]

hi all

have just caught up and am so overwelmed with it all i cant possibly comment on it, wouldnt know where to start! have only had one normal delivery and no cs so cant comment on the pros and cons as have know experience to compare. i think everyone just has to decide what feels right for them and go with it as much as the labour and birth allow it!

really cant remember things to comment on peoples personal issues really sorry maybe one day ill be a better mumsneter theres always hope.

i have been following the thread but just not posting as by the time ive caught up im worn out

ive still been feeling quite emtional alot and still feeling quite ill most days and on those days i prefer not to think about being pg. finding it really hard to deal with ds who is 3yrs 9mths ish he is quite a demanding child and never really plays on his own he always needs attention i find that im just sticking him infront of the tv nearly all day he does go to pre-school 3 days a week so i know he's getting stimulation and learning on those days so makes me feel slightly better but i just feel so guilty coz im nothing like the mummy i was before i was pregnant i have no patience or time for him at all really makes me feel very i can see it affecting him too he's becoming very whingy and clingy to people (family members) and makes such a fuss when people leave him, which i really cant cope with, with these hormones! is anyone else having these problems with dc's or it is just me whos a failure and cant cope with her own child. and im having another one what am i thinking! am still not sleeping well either but dont know how i can change that, if i need a wee i need a wee! i really cant get up in the mornings and am so lucky dp is home alot otherwise id have cracked up by now. i just feel useless and am having to rely on dh and mum way too much which also makes me feel bad and guilty

sorry its all about me again i really not normally a selfish person.

[Belgianchocolates]

Dandy you said all of this so well. It's everything I wanted to say, said much much better. Hopefully everyone who has to make a difficult decision regarding the birth will remember you wise words and hopefully fi and chocbunnies will now be a bit less worried about the size of their babies.

Anyway. Dinnertime now and then off to beavers with ds.

[llareggub]

One of the reasons I want a VBAC is because DS is very active, and likes to climb all over me. He is also still breastfeeding, and tends to clamber all over me while doing so. The thought of doing that with a c-section wound horrifies me.

I did recover really quickly from my c-section, but have no idea how I would have recovered from a natural birth. I'm also keen to leave hospital as soon as possible, and a c-section will have me in for at least 3 days. So, VBAC, if you please!

Having said that, if I end up with a c-section, so be it. DH will be around for 3 weeks and I'm sure others will rally around for week 4. By 4 weeks last time I was driving again, so I should be OK, touch wood!