Due April 2009 - Episode 13 - Springy's getting married in the morning, Ding Dong the April mums will shine (or at least swell some more!!

[SmuttyNuttyTaff]

here we go

I thought I was good organising it in 5 months! 16 days is so impressive!!!

Gingersarah - to cover your back I think you are wise to try and hang on to your job. A lot will have changed by the time your maternity leave is over and you can make a judgement call then. Even if the company is a hell-hole you won't be there and if things are improving there you can go back.

If none of this works out count it as a blessing and take some time to re-evaluate. In the words of Monty Python "And now for something completetly different"

Bleu - I would like to do something craft based too. I actually retrained in garden design while I was pg with DD but in all honesty no-one is really spending money hiring garden designers at the moment so I think I might do an upholstery course in the meantime until things pick up. There will be a space in the house once we have decorated where I can set up my sewing machine. That way I can take on as much or as little work as I can cope with around the children.

Of course if DHs work dries up I'll go back to PR if I have to.

The PR market it pretty dire too LuLu, most of the big PR agencies are cutting numbers and the freelance market is very slow!!! I am going to take my ML as a chance to really think about what I want to do and take the steps needed to train to do it!

How much time does one actually get with a little one? Part of me fears having too much time (like now) and part of me worries about having too little time... Finding balance in self, baby and DH time will be the biggest struggle I think.

Byeeeee Springy - have a wonderful time

Dh wants to know how soon the baby will be able to ride a bike

Yeah BB - I know. PR budget usually one of the first things to be cut when finances are bad. I am well aware of that, but I'm sure I could pick something up if I really needed (don't want to though!).

Bleu - it changes radically. In some ways tiny babies are easyish because they have naps and they stay where you left them (!) but they are totally reliant on you which 24 hours a day which is quite mind-blowing at first. In the early days DD didn't like me being out of sight so I used to put her in the bouncy seat in the bathroom while I took a shower - never had a second when she wasn't there.

Recently she has become loads more self sufficient and entertains herself with a less input from me. For example at the moment she is sitting on the floor on a huge sheet of paper, drawing with chalks. I pop down there every couple of minutes and make some squiggles or draw something and she has to guess what it is (e.g. a fish or the sun)

Half an hour ago she was 'reading' a comic, tracing her fingers over the lines on the pages and chatting to the pictures on the pages. Earlier she was chasing a balloon around like a lunatic (I joined in with that cos it was really funny).

The thing is all these things need close supervision. If I left her alone with the chalks everything would be covered. A couple of days ago I went to the loo and left her unattended - she worked out how to switch the grill on!!!

Bleu - one of my nephews could cycle round Richmond Park at the age of 4. That is 9 miles. Pretty unusual though. He's a fairly phenomenal child - very strong with an extraordinary pain threshold. And his dad does things like the IronMan competition for fun....

DH would die of happiness if we had such a child...I keep reminding him that we may end up with a bookworm like me though...

I'm trying to nurture the bookish side of DD too, hence all the craft activities etc but I think she shows signs of more sporty genes than the arty ones.

I am so looking forward to seeing the little one grow...

Lulu - We have started DD on a few basic French words and she seems to really enjoy. Her French pronunciation is actually better than her English. Thanks for the encouragement before.

Bleu - Every new thing they do just makes you burst with pride. There's no other feeling like it.

Oh Puzzle - that's great. I may have mentioned before but my French SIL used to do a French group for toddlers - I'll ask her if she knows of any similar ones still in operation (she lives in the same part of town and is quite plugged in to kids activities).

Also really recommend getting books. Usborne does lots of good 'word books' for everyday vocab. You may be sick of them already but all the 'That's not my...' series are very helpful at bringing to life some of the texture words. Also get her listening to French music. I've got some Spanish CDs with songs equivalent to 'Old MacDonalds Farm' - the animal sounds are the same so she knows what it's all about.

And talking of bursting with pride - a young Spanish au-pair came over to me at softplay the other day and said, with some surprise "Your daughter speaks Spanish!?". I've no idea what DD had been saying to her, but the fact that she had said anything (in any language) that was intelligable to anyone other than me made me enormously proud!

Ginger - ((Hugs)) xx everything will come good for you, life tends to take away the things you think you need most and then give you something that you need/ want/appreciate more.

Springy - i feel very odd and weepy (in a good maternal wierd kinda way) like we're all waving you out of the door on some big journey (i suppose we are, this is the next chapter in your life after all lol ). Good Luck Sugar Puff, have the most fantastic day you gorgeous thing you xxx and BB's right we do all love you xxx

Springy - had to stop reading your post 'cause it was making me cry too much. I'm soooo amazed you have managed to organise it soo quick - thought mine was pretty good going only having set the date at Christmas but 16 days is astounding.....and so pregnant too....you wonderwoman you . Just know it will be a fab day for you and even if there are little hiccups it wont matter at all.

off to email smutty now as haven't been online for a few days......waking at 3am and not being able to get back to sleep has been taking it's toll and I've been sinking into bed almost as soon as I've welcomed DP back from work, poor thing !

(shuffles in) Why am I doing this? With DD I never had any doubts and this time I keep wondering what on earth possessed me when I got pregnant

another one with a tear in the eye reading springy's post - its funny how excited and happy you can be for someone you've never actually met in rl.

gingersarah - i agree with the others that while its a good idea to keep your options open, mat leave is also a good time to sort out what else you would like to do. have no doubt spoken about this before so sorry if i am repeating myself, but i decided about two months after ds was born that i really didnt want to go back to work, and did a kilt making course (and went to various start up business workshops etc) to start my wee business.

i am quite lucky that dh's job is pretty secure, and although he doesnt earn huge amounts, its enought to cover our mortgage and bills and a little extra, so we decided if i can make enough to still be able to go on holiday, have treats from time to time, overall we would prefer that to mt going back as a solicitor.

had to go back after ds as i hadnt quite finished the course and set up, but this mat leave, i'm going to put any time i get into it (dh will still be able to have one if not two days a week at home as he works some evenings and pil have really enjoyed having ds one day a week so will continue some kind of routine if reduced slightly) and am hopeful that come time to decide, i will be able to at least take a career break, if not stop altogether and run my wee business.

Have already had a few orders through mn (and thanks to Boffin) so its all about getting your name known etc.

All I mean is that sometimes if you are pushed a little rather than having the option to jump or not, you are more likely to mkae that change and even people whose businesses dont make it, hardly ever say they regret trying it in the first place.

sorry - rather long post. i only have three more days left at work and am getting a little nervous that i wont go back at all, but at the same time, excited by what it could be like to run my own business.

schukte - i have done that a few times recently too - what's wrong? just generally down or a particular event thats upset you?

i keep reminding myself that i want struan to have brothers and sisters, so i need to actually have the babies to allow that to happen.

Hello all. Quick update. Sorry to have missed Springy, and kicking myself we didn't suggest she attaches a webcam to the dress, so we can be part of the proceedings remotely!

Went out to Anglesey Abbey to see the snowdrops today. It was supposed to cheer me up, but I was actually really miserable in the wheelchair, freezing cold and surrounded by old biddies. I had a bit of cry at one point. I miss my old life a lot.

DH wants to take me out tomorrow to cheer me up but there are so few places I can go and so few things I can do I am wondering what the point is tbh.

Lulu, to clean up your PC, assuming Windows XP, right click on the internet explorer icon, then click on 'Properties'. Go to Browsing History, then click on 'Delete' and then click on 'Delete History'. It is also prudent to empty the Recycle Bin on your desktop as well. There are other things you can do but this usually deals with it.

Nutty, there were two birth videos last night, including one women floating oddly in a birthing pool as if she was flat on her back on the bed. I think they hadn't realised the point of the pool really.

Dunno really.... just generally feeling a bit down, maternity leave is now only a week away and I guess that makes it all feel real at last - I don't think it's a coincidence that I haven't actually prepared or bought anything for the LO yet, it's almost like I am in denial. I should be cooing over tiny sleepsuits and I am not. Yesterday I spoke to my friend who had her baby a week ago at 36 weeks and she said she was having a horrible time with the newborn and her toddler, and never getting any sleep at all. Today I looked at photos of another friend's new baby and what touched me was how her toddler looked at the LO, not how cute or tiny the baby was. In fact I didn't find the baby itself very interesting at all.

I just can't get my head round how everything is going to work and what I'll do with the baby when DD needs me. Or what I'll do with DD when the baby needs me. Or even what I'll do with both of them when I need a minute or two to look after myself.

poor you schulte - i guess that things will just click into place when the baby arrives, but i have no doubt that the first few weeks at least are going to be more of a nightmare than a honeymoon period.

Ds still doesnt sleep through and I am just trying not to think of how being up several times a night with the baby, and then ds waking too is going to work, cause i just cant picture it just now.

others who already have two will be able to give actual advice, so all i can do is sympathise with you but it will work somehow, cause it has to.

I am just worried that I'll hate it all...

Evening ladies...

I am actually nervous for Springy - can't wait until she is back with photo's!!

Schultes - you ok? I am petrified about having this baby sometimes and I don't already have LO to consider! I am sure you will be an even better mum to two than you are with one!!

Oh Boff, I can get that, 100%! must be so frustrating for you - I am annoyed that I can't just put on my trainers and go for a run on the beach or lay on my tummy and I have none of what you have to deal with - I think you are doing so very well and you (and Nutty come to that) have coped with this whole thing with so much grace and strength that I admire you so very much! Do let DH take you out, maybe for a nice lunch somewhere or something that can make you look forward to the future rather than contemplate on the past - we could get Nutty googling for you!

Mumble when is your big day?

Schultes, I really don't think you will hate it

It will be tough but like the conker said, it will click in to place eventually even if it takes a while and in three months you will be sat at home with your LO's and DD will be helping you change nappies etc that you will not only be so in love with your new baby but even more so of DD and just so proud of her!

I think it's hard you can't compare yourself with others and it's natural to be drawn to the toddler because at the moment that's what you relate to the most!

Please don't worry and I think there will be other mums on here in exactly the same place so we'll all muddle through it together xx