Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Flip

Original poster

Big age gap & going back to nappies!

13 replies

Sarahmum · 11/02/2009 15:29

I am 42 with a 10 yr old son and I am 31 weeks pregnant. It wasn't planned, but now we've had some time to get used to the idea, we are very happy and excited about it. My son is really excited about it, though I have a feeling that might change a bit when reality hits home.

Anyway, I went to my first NCT 'refresher' course for 'second time round mums' last night - only to find that they all had toddlers. It left me feeling that I really need more than a bit of 'refreshing'!

I also hadn't realised the assumption that people make that if you have a big age gap, you must be on a second/third marriage.

Is anyone else going back to nappies after a big age gap? How are you feeling about it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FioFio · 11/02/2009 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cikecaka · 11/02/2009 17:51

It will be fine, I had DD when my other dc were 10, 8,and 7.
She is the best thing to happen all of us

pluto · 11/02/2009 18:05

I'm about to: DC2 arriving by CS on Friday with a 9 year gap. I can't wait, everyone I've spoken to on here and in RL says it's really not a problem and there are as many positives to a big gap as there to a small one. I'll let you know how we get on in the next few weeks. DC2 was kind of planned - it's just taken us since we started TTC no2 seven years ago to have success and we'd pretty much given up any hope of ever having a second child, (didn't want to do IVF) so it is a bit of a shock - albeit a very lovely one.

surprisenumber3 · 11/02/2009 18:40

hi - I am 31 weeks (tomorrow!) too, and I have a DS who is nearly 10 and a DS who is 5. I love the age gaps and have loved the fact that I have had each one of them on their own at home with me during the day until they started school I have always worked part-time but always managed to do the swimming/park/baby groups one on one with them. And I really look forward to the school holidays and weekends when we do things as a family

Original poster

Sarahmum · 12/02/2009 15:43

Thank you - I think I a must having a slight wobble, so it's really great to read upbeat and encouraging messages!

OP posts:

Vinbim · 12/02/2009 19:54

Hi there - you very kindly answered a note I sent out in a panic back in November when I had recently discovered I was pregnant at 43. I was unable to follow my own thread - and am still not sure how to negotiate my way round this website as it doesn't alert you if somebody answers your question. However, I managed to find the thread again just now and saw your reply. I realise you must have had your baby by now and was wondering how things were going and how you were managing. I'm due at the end of May and am coming round to the idea now even though the hosue is too small etc etc. Anyway, thanks for replying to my message and so sorry not to have written more but as I said I thought nobody had replied! All the best Vinbim

Vinbim · 12/02/2009 19:56

Just re read your message and realise you've not yet had it! Oops - sorry about that. But how are things going anyway and sorry for the misunderstanding. All best vinbim

cece · 22/02/2009 13:23

Hi,

I am 42 next week and 28 weeks pg with my third. I have two older dcs at 8 and 5. I am aslo a bit worried about 'going back' to nappies etc.... What annoys me most are the 'is it planned?' question I get everytime I tell someone about the pg!

I am starting those NCT refresher course soon, hoping they are going to be useful. I also assumed everyone there would have a big gap! LOL Sort of thought if you have a toddler it wouldn't need refreshing! LOL

brettgirl2 · 22/02/2009 13:40

The 'was it planned' question is not age specific, I'm 31 and have been asked it many times

babyblue3 · 25/02/2009 15:12

The gap is the best thing! I am preggers with #4 and am 36. DD1 is 10, DS is 9, DD2 is 16 months, and DC4 is due in July. The two older ones have been a Godsend with the baby. I couldn't imagine having 4 back to back. I was a little nervous about starting over again, but its been wonderful! I would ignore all the rude remarks. I get both the 'was it an accident' and the 'no cable TV?' comments... just shrug them off

WealdMa · 25/02/2009 15:52

Hi there, wobble away - it'll be fine. I had my second at 39 when my first was seven - unplanned gap, rather than unplanned pregnancy! Am enjoying having a baby around the place much more than I did the first time when it felt a bit like being involved in a weird sleep deprivation experiment where everyone knew the rules except me.

Because ds1 is at school it meant that I could do all the same things with DS2 that I did first time round - baby massage, baby music - I wasn't having to run around after a toddler so made sure I really enjoyed my maternity leave this time around. It's quite amusing because I tend to be the only second-timer so have gained a reputation (unsought) of being wise old middle-aged crone who can dispense advice on everything from treating nappy rash to weaning. No one believes me when I say I have forgotten just about everything and am learning all over again - albeit with the knowledge that it matters not that he is not the first to roll over, read Ulysses, play the Waldstein sonata etc but that, all being well, he will be able to walk and talk (and of course answer back) by the time he starts school!

As for the "second time round" comments - it is just a sad reflection on the state of the family - I get them all the time together with complete surprise when I mention that this is not the case.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling - suffice it to say that having a big gap and being a bit older has advantages that far outweigh anything else in my view - I can spend wonderful time with DS2 during the day and still make sure that DS1 gets his fair share of attention too. The only downside really is that they don't really play together but that is a small grumble

Oblomov · 25/02/2009 16:11

Agree. Ds1(5) at school. I still have all that time at home with ds2(4 mths).
It is like having your first child again. Time to do PN groups etc. But then I pick up ds1 from school. And he is besotted with ds2 aswell.
The whole world has a 2 yr age gap. well no. not everyone does.
be proud. don't worry.

honey123 · 01/03/2009 13:04

I have DD1 age 19 and DD2 age 13 and DS1 is due today! I really feel like I'm out of date on everything, I feel much more nervous now than I did first time round. Everyone just says 'oh it will come back to you' but all the rules are different. Also I keep being told how lucky I am to have 2 helpers/babysitters but that only really applies when they are happy about the situation. DD1 is absolutely mortified that I'm having a baby, she wants nothing to do with it which makes for quite an atmosphere especially between her and DH. Anyway, not much I can do about it as baby will be here soon enough!

Flip