Bringing baby home - how does this work?!

[Happymum2be]

I've not posted before but have been avidly reading all the advice and loving it. I'm due on April 12th with first baby. Was wondering if anyone has advice for bringing him home! I understand he sleeps in my room, I've bought an amby hammock, but do I need black out blinds in my room? What about when DH and I go to bed, can we switch the lights on or do you have to get into bed in the dark?! Do you switch a light on to breastfeed (if I'm able) or do I leave the room and go somewhere else with a softer light? I really want my DH to be able to sleep in bed with me but I'm concerned that he won't be able to if I'm up with the light on all night. I am clueless as to how this works so any advice would be appreciated. I'm getting very scared about the birth and think these other worries are making things worse! Thanks

yes, advice is to have baby in with you for at least the first 6 months.
you don't have to have blackout blinds in your room at all. we didn't for ds1 but then he was a good sleeper. we did for ds2 because he was a crap sleeper, but they din't help THAT much lol

in the early days I used to put a small lamp on when I breastfed (in bed) because it helped me when I was latdching him on. Once he was bigger he could latch on by himself and we didn't really need the light.

far too much hassle getting up and going to other rooms imo!

My DS is 6wks old. I leave the landing light on at night and that is enough to feed him by. I also dont put a light on if I have to change a nappy.
DH and I sleep in the same bed!! at thinking you cant.
I also have the telly on at funny times too sometimes for the light it gives off and to try to keep myself awake or just to watch while feeds.

We used a child night's light which was very soft, low voltage and didn't wake dh. My preferred one so far is from IKEA for £8 (in green, blue or red) but there are many on the market.

My dd hated being flat in the cot due to reflux so we had to use the bassinet part of our pram and then put books underneath at one end to raise it up. She sometimes slept with me in bed (we found a 'safe' position that worked for us all). In the end she was awake so much, dh and I had to go into different bedrooms for a while. These are things I never would have dreamt of doing beforehand but worked for 'us' with our 'baby'. Other people put a piece of their clothing in the cot or moses basket to calm them, as they like the smell. Swaddling works for many. Some babies sleep soundly and nothing bothers them.

All babies are different and just play around with things until you find out what works. It's all a big learning process.

A surprising number of really tiny babies sleep through almost anything IME, including light, phones ringing, and hoovering. You might well be pleasantly surprised. The more important issue is how to get enough sleep yourself.

1. A lamp by the bed (ideally even a dimmer lamp if you can get one) means you won't wake yourself up too much doing feeds. Otherwise turning the big light on means you'll inadvertently give yourself a surge of melatonin in the middle of the night, and might find it hard getting back to sleep if you're awake more than about 20-30 minutes.

1. A basket close to hand with spare baby clothes, rudimentary changing kit, wipes, muslins, breast pads, spare bra etc means you can get extra things you need very easily without too much effort or waking DH too much. Again the less you wake yourself up, the quicker you'll get off to sleep again after the feed. Sometimes you can get in a negative loop where you're exhausted but your mind/hormones are racing too much to sleep.

1. If you have lots of pillows, and maybe even a v-shaped pillow, you can pull them around yourself very easily and get into a good position for bf. Positioning is everything. You might need help at first.

1. A slumber mask and ear plugs might be useful for DH so he can snooze while you get on with it. In the early days you might need him to fetch and carry a bit for you though, particularly while you get used to bf and still feel like you need 15 pairs of hands.

1. It is quite helpful to have things to drink by the side of the bed, because you can get thirsty. Also some babies take forever feeding, and a few magazines are sometimes welcome.

PS Just to add one of mine was a crap sleeper, and seemed to feed all day and all night for the first few weeks, and that was difficult. So after a few weeks I used to express some milk on a Friday, and DH would give me Friday night off and give him bottles of breast milk, so I could get about 6 hours' sleep in a go. I would then pump off a bit of Saturday morning, because I got very full, at about 6am, and then feed the baby as normal after that. It helped a lot with the sleep deprivation side of things.

i wanted to remain in the same room asmy dh so i fed at night somewhere else- ususally downstairs so i could have tv on as the feeds could go on and on and on! my dhwould have been so tired if i had had a light on in the room but i guess it depends how much of a heavy sleeper your dh is!

My DH is a very light sleeper so he has always gone into the spare room for the first four months. TBH it made it easier for me too, as I didn't have to worry about waking him.

With DD I used to have a side light on and the TV and it never woke her! I don't think the TV woke DS up either.

However, his sleep patterns as a newborn were different. He would stay awake till 3 am feeding. (In fact he would feed on and off all evening from about 7 pm. I would then go to bed with him in the moses basket at about 3 am. He would then wake after about 5-6 hours for his mroning feed. So I never really did middle of the night feeds with him.