Due Dec 08 - Braxton hicks, baby kicks and leaking nips!

[Veggiemummy]

that was Disenchanted's idea for a great title not mine

Have been nesting like a women possessed today. As veggiebaby will be sleeping in our room for the first 8-12months i was sorting our room out and clearing room on my side of the bed and generally downsizing all the crap in our bedroom. did very well cleared everything away and our room seems so much bigger now. Also cleared out a lot of my clothes and found loads to give to Oxfam bin. I have managed to find a drawer in our tallboy and a few drawers in DS big chest of drawers for veggiebaby so we won't need to get him his own set. I didnt really want to have a set of drawers for him as i like keeping our rooms simple and as much floor space for open for play and whatever as possible. Now i'm a bit shattered though. DH very kindly cooked me yummy dinner. we are dropping him at the airport tomorrow for his 2 week trip home

LadyT no worries at all. it is more a question of knowing who your late dh is and deducing... i doubt v much you would know my dh - he is a comedy writer performer who's done quite a bit on radio 4 & tv, but keeps himself to himself. if you pay your £5 to MN, people can contact you person to person - i think i've done this, but sometimes my knowledge of how to use MN falls short - if you want to talk more. (photos of me and possibly dh on my profile page - can't remember)

anyway, enough of this - let's get back to talking about us, this strange time of pregnancy and forthcoming sproglets.

i have to say i'm loving being pregnant. am v lucky to have had (touch wood and respect and thoughts to those who are having a difficult time of it) an uneventful time of it. also my dh is so supportive, tells me how gorgeous i am all the time and rubs bio-oil into my belly every night and practically beams at the bump. knew there was a reason we got married - our 2nd anniversary is on tues - going out for a meal and then next weekend are booked into fancy hotel on the south coast (flagrantly ignoring the financial maelstrom around us)

i did have a bit of a meltdown yesterday afternoon - it was such a beautiful day, but i felt we were wasting it and i had such a sense of time running out. i wanted to do do do, achieve, achieve, achieve and i think we just didn't communicate very well. i ended up crying for about 3 hours and trying to avoid a row with dh, but just couldn't stop crying. my first real outburst, i think.

feeling full of the joys of this beautiful autumn day in london - wishing you all well

Hi all, had a busy weekend so first chance I've had to post!

veggie glad you found your sling! And am very impressed with your clearing out skills, need to do that in our room as well!

ladyt I'm another one who doesn't have a clue who your dh is! But agree with others that if you're feeling a bit wobbly about it then ask MN Towers to delete that post.

waitinggirl hope you're feeling better after your emotional outburst yesterday!

I finally spoke to dh about everything and he's been really sweet, said he was so caught up in everything he'd forgotten that I'd be feeling the pressure a bit as well! Anyway, we've agreed to try not to worry about the mortgage until we hear back from them as there isn't anything we can do.

Yesterday, I went to a conference which had Ina May Gaskin speaking and she was just fabulous! It was a long day but worth it.

oops, posted too soon. Meant to also say, hope everyone's getting lots of rest! See you tomorrow

Morning,

WaitingGirl Sorry you had an emotional day Saturday. Its great your DH sounds so supportive. I had a bit of an outburst too on Saturday. I was moaning about being tired and uncomfortable and DH said jokingly "Well you didn't have to get pg" Which set me off on a "I don't think this baby excites you" rant. After about an hour I managed to laugh about it.

Veggie I could really do with borrowing your nesting instinct. I go to do something then end up feeling exhausted. Also we might be moving before baby comes so I can't help feeling its all pointless if we do end up moving.

I hope everyone is ok. I slept all night last night and it was lovely, BUT I still woke up looking like a zombie!!

Morning everyone,

Thanks so much for all your kind messages.

waitinggirl i felt exactly the same in my first pregnancy, I think you put it very well - I wanted to meet my babies but was also aware of this precious time slipping away to do things without the restrictions of children.

ladyt thanks so much for your sweet messages, I am tearful again reading them (in the nicest possible way!). Your DH sounded wonderful (and I have no idea who he was either) and your DP sounds amazing as well -glad he is getting some tidying done. I am very impressed with your learning to drive so late in pregnancy. I passed 4th time around, all the best people take a little while! I find it hard enough to work as my brain is so mushy, so I'm impressed at your being able to concentrate on the multi-tasking involved in learning to drive!

arti thank you for telling me about your SIL. I feel much better, although sad that she had to experience the same. I worry a little about bonding because of being asleep for the birth, but I hope that if I bonded with twins I can bond with just one! I think it kept me going breastfeeding as I was getting all the good bonding hormones released that way. Did you SIL find it okay to bond with all three despite the births?

Verso you poor thing with the cramps - hope they are better?

I'm not doing great. Feel like a ticking time bomb like I'm suddenly going to start gushing blood any minute . Made the mistake of looking up placenta previa in the archives, bad move! Have been very ratty, tearful and anxious and my work is just going to pieces. Have been snappy with the DD's who are just doing the things that come naturally to 3 year olds like throwing their food on the floor and refusing to get in the car etc. Picking arguments with DH who is also scared witless of me suddnely going into labour at 30 weeks or bleeding horribly. I thought I'd manage to be a lot more zen-like and instead I am a nervous wreck!

We had lunch with nearby friends yesterday who were brilliant and said they would help all they could. Also need to go and talk to neighbours today and ask them to be on standby, just not sure how to start the conversation as we know them okay but not brilliantly.."err hello, i might suddenly start bleeding copiosuly and need you to take me to hospital whilst your wife looks after my children".

We rent a cottage from a country estate, so luckily they have various staff who are around during the day - so I'm sure they will be happy to help. It also means that an ambulance would take ages to get to us as we're so rural so I'd need someone to drive me.

If I can just get through until early November my mum will be back and can hopefully stay with me. We just can't afford for DH to stop working just in case and he's a good hour away 3 days a week.

Better try and do some work! Sorry for gloom and doom girls.

oh hatty you poor thing you have so much to consider with all this. I think you will be fine with the bonding, you and your little girl are already bonding now, you will just have a little time while you are briefly apart. Can you talk to the hospital about your husband being allowed to hold your little girl as soon as possible after the birth, if you do have to have the CS.

i bought some of those nose strips that open up the nose a bit as i have been really snuffly at night and waking up shattered. They have worked really well the last few nights, but still being woken about 4 times for indigestion, but at least my bladder manages to coincide with my dodgy heartburn so i go to the loo at the same time.

also jelly brain has struck again, i got the starting day of my BF helper course wrong i thought it was this friday but it was actually last friday oops, hopefully didnt miss too much.

oh also for the ladies getting 4am cramps, i was ready the 31week round up of the rough guide to pregnancy last week and it was saying that it can be walking too much or too fast. so maybe need to slow down or do less walking around if possible.

Oh hatty - chin up - I hope you're ok. Try not to worry too much about things and just take each day as it comes. Sounds like you're doing the right thing getting everyone on board now in case of emergency, then you can hopefully relax a bit in the knowledge that you have help on standby.

LT- if it helps, I have no idea who your DH was either, so try not to fret about that.

Had a lovely weekend with my friend down in Winchester - what a gorgeous place. Really made me want to leave London and be a country person! But think I might get a bit bored. Think I'd be ok if I had Diagnosis Murder though. It's such rubbish, but I do love it! Nearly pulled a sickie today, just to watch it! Her baby is 7 weeks old and sleeping through the night. God, dream baby - if only ours will be like that.

Had a HUGE row with DH last night as he seems to think that me wanting my Mum to be around at our home while I'm in labour means that I don't want him involved. Plus I said I was going to do some shopping with her for things like the odd boring baby outfit and nipple cream and pads and nappy-changing things and he said "do you want to have this baby on your own?". I was completely gutted and cried and cried. As far as I'm concerned, he comes first, but if we need back up, I want my Mum involved. Anyway, have slept on it and am feeling a bit better today. When it comes down to it if I'm in labour and demand he get my Mum up, I doubt he'll dare to disobey me. I do feel he's making it all about him and not about the baby - and I'm the one who'll be going through the pain. Maybe I'm being over-sensitive.

Plus he was talking about me being spoilt because I'm getting loads of stuff for the nipper. Erm, it's not for me! Plus (and I feel like I'm labouring this point) it's with vouchers, so I think we should make the best use of those and get nice stuff while we can afford it, without spending our own money! I haven't bought any baby clothes (apart from a bib) and we got the cot from my sister, so I don't feel like I'm going overboard. God, I do sound like a brat. Sorry guys. I don't mean to whinge - it all seems such small stuff. Grrr.

Sorry. Just was getting to me last night. Must grow up.

And just a quick PS - the loads of stuff I'm getting are so far: a pushchair/pram, a cot-top changer, some linen for the single bed in that room, blankets, sling to carry it in, an intercom. PLUS he was in John Lewis with me when we bought it and was choosing it with me, so it's hardly all down to me! We bought a chest of drawers as well, but that's because otherwise we'd have nowhere to put the stuff!! I really don't think I'm going overboard and buying superfluous things. SORRY!

Hatty: glad you;re getting all the arrangements together. You may well never need them - am hoping for a) your placenta to gallop up out of the way or b) a calm planned CS . You will feel better for having emergency plans though.

Beans and others having rows with their partners: me too! I honestly think a lot of it is down to pg hormones. Our bodies are tellign us to concentrate on ourselves and our babies and ignore any distractions which may well involve significant others... I've vowed to make the effort to listen to DH (whcih is reasonable) and try not to make every problem or argument about EMOTIONAL ABUSE OF THE PREGNANT WOMAN. I'm sure we went through a similar stage in the last trimester with DS . Not helped I think by partners starting to freak out that this is really happening and a proper baby is going to arrive any minute!

Yes, think you're right Effie. and I think I over-react, where I probably shouldn't and feel that he's being completely unfair etc. Sure it's normal. I just want to scream at him, but am being very nice to him, all the while crying! haha.

Another marital 'discussion' here last night.

Ours was about money too, I think the economic situation makes you so nervous about what's going to happen in the coming months and years that it's hard not to start freaking out about expenditure.

Our row was about dh saying we should get the sash windows in our house replaced or refurbished when we move home in November and me saying we shouldn't spend so much money in one go and refusing to listen to reason about lower energy bills, investment in our property etc.

We were saved from a big row as dh was playing a ukulele when we started talking about it and he kept absentmindedly playing little tunes as we were rowing which actually made it quite funny in the end.

So today I am looking for a sash window company to get quotes from. On the off chance, have any of you London ladies had sash windows refurbished or replaced with similar wooden windows? Any recommendations gratefully received....

I do think its all down to DH's realising that there will soon be a new baby.

My DH is mainly panicing about getting the double pushchair. Our pram from DS hasn't sold yet and we're getting a little worried about it never selling and we then have 2 pushchairs to find room for.

ROOM is our problem here too - we have a small 2 bed flat and had hoped to have moved by this point, but the credit crunch seems to have scared off any potential buyers.

So at the moment everything I stashed away from DS has had to come out of the loft again and is stacked up in various corners teetering in piles. So wish we could just magic up an extra bedroom - god knows how we will find room to breath when the new baby actually arrives and stretches its limbs!

Pixsix - we looked into this briefly - I think there is some weird legislation now that you can only have windows replaced with doubleglazed ones - but you can get double-glazed box sashes though they are very expensive. We looked at this company here but never got as far as actually having it done, so no idea if they are any good. Refurbishing is a bit different I think. Whereabouts in London are you?

Beans i definitely don't think you are overreacting but i think your DH is having his own issues about dealing with becoming a father, sharing you with another human being and also the responsibility of providing for a family. I think the things he is saying are more coming from his nervousness about the changes due soon and his own issues. I hope that makes sense i am usually able to explain myself better but as i have a small, practically absent brain that as good as it gets.

We have had a cute morning here in veggie house. DS has been putting his foam bath letters on my belly and watching veggiebaby kick them and make them move. Seems to freak hi out less than actually feeling the kicks.

pixsix we had our windows done recently, we got uPVC sash windows put in and they look really good, some people don't realise they are not wood. However, we didn't have wood sash windows before (house is Victorian house that would have done originally, but they had been replaced, probably in the 70s, with nasty metal windows) so it wasn't as important to us to get them replaced with wooden sash windows if you see what i mean (though it would've been nice). We were told that getting wood sash windows would cost a fortune by several people.

We're not in london though so can't help on that front. I can let you know how much they cost though for comparison, but not sure off the top of my head.

Thanks for the link TYV. I have heard horror stories about how expensive it is to replace the windows sympathetically and we're in a conservation area so have to get the windows approved before we can have them replaced. That's why i was hoping that refurbishment might be possible. I expect we will get quotes and decide it is too expensive. We're in SE London.

pixsix - we had 3 quotes for refurbishing earlier this year and i didn't go ahead with of them as i thought it was going to cost a 1/3 of what they eventually quoted me. i think it is a really good idea, though, in an ideal world.

www.draughtsealing.org.uk - have to say the guy who came round patronised me and treated me like an imbecile, so he was never going to get our money, but seemed reputable

www.sashrestorations.co.uk - dh saw him - apparently v nice man

can't find details for the other man.
good luck

hatty - poor poor you. good to be prepared, but hopefully you are preparing for the worst case scenario and once you've got the emergency preparations in place, you will be able to be a bit calmer about it

and to all those fighting with dhs/dps - horrid, isn't it? but i suppose part of the process.

Cross posts SL, yours sound good but I don't think we're allowed uPVC because of the conservation area. I have also heard that new wooden windows are prohibitively expensive. Eeeek, we really need to do something as the wind rattles through the window frames in winter and the house is extremely draughty. I'm guessing that won't be great for the baby.

pixsix some friends live in a conservation area and got a grant from their local council to get their sash windows replaced. It was to make sure it was in keeping with the original house and keep the look of the street.

Thanks wg, I will maybe try the second man as the first sounds like he would be hard to cope with in a pregnant and hormonal state! Did you end up finding any temporary solutions for your windows?

veggie that sounds good but I called the council planning man this morning to ask what I need to do to apply for the permission and he didn't mention a grant. Will look in to it though, thanks!

No no pix! It will be WONDERFUL for the baby - much less bad than all those built up allergens from lack of air circulation and dry air from over radiation . That's what I tell myself about our drafty old sashes anyway!

We are N London so not much use - but there are a lot of small joiners/wood shops round here that specialise in refurbishing sashes. I think you get loads in conservation areas so if you keep your eyes peeled you will probably find a handful of local joiners who could do the job much cheaper.

Having said that, it's amazing what a difference temporary measures can make - like those little foam strips and brushes. And just getting thick new curtains really helps and is a lot cheaper than new windows, if push comes to shove.

That's a relief TYV! Will look out for some local people and think about new curtains as a temporary measure. Thanks!