NCT - should I do it again?

[Mrspregnant2]

so we did NCT first time around and now pregnant with our 2nd. We did this in May 2020 so it was height of Covid and I only
kept in touch with one mum within this and plus we have moved further afield.

we have since moved area and know no one in this new town and friends/family are far away.

I am thinking of signing up TO NCT classes again to : 1 - meet people who will be having babies at the same time and hopefully have the support there - 2 - hoping it will be different this time and we can create friendships as Covid prevented this and 3 - a refresh on everything and some advice and help with C section advice or natural birth.

husband says it’s a complete waste of
money/time and he doesn’t want to go and do it again as he swears he remembers every last detail of it!

so I’m torn on what to do?

I'd go again for local mum friends. He's not the one bored rigid during mat leave with no other mums to talk to.

I wouldn't, because in my experience, they don't talk about C-Sections even if they know people in the group are having one, and people are a bit different towards those with older children in them - it's a bit of a gang of people who are bonded by not knowing what to expect.

I would find lots of prenatal groups to go to and make friends that way, though. We're in the season where my NCT group is having second babies, and the two who did NCT seem to regret it, the ones who went to prenatal swimming/tea mornings/get togethers seem to have a good bunch of friends. t will be different having two vs one; the challenges are really different, so it could be a really good thing to meet people who have existing children too.

I'd also go all out at baby classes afterwards, I've met some great friends at those.

It’s a tricky one. On one hand it’s a great way of meeting friends but on the other you’ve got to sit there with your DH hearing about all the stuff you already know. You’ll also need childcare for your 3 year old for all the sessions.

We did a one day refresher... and wished we'd saved our money, tbh.

The content was okay, but nothing I couldn't have picked up online. No one really chatted during lunch and breaks, and one couple even decided to cut their losses and left half way through. At the end, everyone just drifted away and there was no exchange of numbers or anything.

Perhaps it might have been different if it was more than just a day course.

I did it for similar reasons: like you, we moved when dc1 was very young and I didn't really know anyone. But with baby and toddler groups, that soon changed and my social group expanded quite quickly.

It must vary massively from place to place but a friend went when expecting her second and said every other couple were first-time parents and she felt that was the main reason she didn’t ‘fit in’ well

I did this as we moved to a completely new part of London between dc1 and 2. It was actually DH's suggestion so that I could make some local mum friends on mat leave. It was brilliant and I'm still friends with most of them 18 years later. It may have changed since then given it was nearly 2 decades ago, but at that time there was a specific course for people having subsequent dc, so everyone had already been through it at least once. That meant it was mostly just the women rather than partners, and discussions included e.g vbac, as we all knew broadly what to expect from the actual birth.

I did it as everyone in my circle of friends had already had their babies years ago. I wanted to find some mum friends to meet up with while I was on maternity leave.

It was brilliant - but I didn't go to find out about childbirth I just wanted to find other mums, which I did. 15 years later we're still friends. It's been great to share watching our children grown up and supporting each other every step of the way.