April 2020 IVF baby

[Hopingforbabyd]

Hello 😊 I thought I'd make a thread for anyone who is needing support through their pregnancy after IVF or support in general. I've met so many lovely ladies on these boards after struggling for a number of years with infertility and felt it sensitive to make a new board as some are still on their journey and I know how painful baby talk can be when you're still waiting. Any advice would be great, I'm currently 17 weeks and a first time momma 🥰

@Whatelsecouldibecalled it is all so nerve wracking, yesterday we had an early scan at 17+3 and I was so shocked and taken away at how perfect baby looked. He's so chunky now! I cannot get over that it's a boy, I have thought it all along and it's now crazy to imagine life with my son!
I will be very honest, I have always imagined having a little girl since I was a little girl and I think that stemmed from having so many girls around me growing up and also being one myself. So I was extremely shocked and felt a bit panicky at the scan and didn't know what to say. I don't want that to sound ungrateful (it sounds so ungrateful) as we have waited so long but I feel safe voicing that here rather than in real life, I feel if I don't voice it I'll feel like I'm already a horrible mum for thinking such a thing.
The thought is shifting and I've woken up thinking so many thoughts about what he will be like, him and his dad being able to go to the footie, his wedding day. The list is endless! So fingers crossed this is just a normal feeling x

@Hopingforbabyd I totally get that. When did you find out? We had a private scan a few weeks ago and they said boy. I felt the same in a way with all the girls in our family lol. However in back of my head I thought boy as I couldn’t picture one! My husband was also a bit stunned but now we’ve got our head round it it’s all good. Just as long as he’s happy and healthy. Hoping nhs also say boy tomorrow!!

Have you had your 20 week scan?

Oh sorry you said you had an early scan. How exciting

@Whatelsecouldibecalled thank you, that is reassuring. I spoke to hubby and he said "sometimes life isn't how you imagined it, we didn't imagine what we've been through" and that hit home 😌 we've just spent a day with our nephew and now I can't wait! X

@Hopingforbabyd don’t worry I think it’s so natural. We all imagine things and that is what you imagined. Your hubby is right -you certainly didn’t imagine this IVF struggle either. In time though you are going to be imagining all the amazing little boy things you want for him.so chuffed your scan went well.

@Whatelsecouldibecalled glad to hear your preg is going well. How was the 20 weeks?

I had my harmony scan today at 10w3 and all looked good. I was fairly nervous as still spotting but she saw the and said it was there but looked more like scarring so it’s beginning to heal. She said I will continue to spot for a while as it sorts itself out. She didn’t seem too worried about it and said she thinks if it was going to cause a problem it would have done by now, everything I seem to read says most of the time they disappear and don’t cause problems. So I’m trying to be positive! Got to hear heartbeat and see it moving! So lovely. Can’t wait for the harmony results and NHS scan in 12 days. But I have said to myself I’m going to try and relax and enjoy the pregnancy now.

Hope everyone is ok.

@mouse1234567 ah glad everything is ok. It’s scary when spotting. I spotting early on too!

20 week scan was good! It’s amazing the detail you get to see. He’s also still a boy!

@mouse1234567 thank you lovely. I am now in absolute awe of my little boy!...I think I was just very shocked and shiz just got real! We are having a gender reveal party on the weekend and I'm so excited to tell everyone!
So glad to hear your harmony scan went okay. You too have endo don't you? They saw scarring on my scan too and said part may bleed, I had the smallest bit but the body does absorb it back in I believe. It's good to hear everything is going okay.
I went to a pregnancy yoga class for the first time tonight....let's just say I am so unfit 😂🙈 but was very nice to meet other mums to be and feel like I'm getting up off my butt as this time of year make me sleepy at the best of times lol x

@Hopingforbabyd sorry I thought I'd replied. I think your reaction was very normal and understandable. Infertility shakes your world as does pregnancy, its totally fine to feel how you feel.
Yay for the party and yoga! Sounds like you're really getting into the pregnancy swing of things 😊

My scan is tomorrow, I'll be 6+1. You know if missed miscarriages were not a thing I'd be much calmer, it is just so hard to have no idea what is going on in there.
Terrified.

@AliceAbsolum thank you lovely 😊 do you mind me asking are you thinking you're having a miscarriage or is it the anxiety that it could happen? X

That it could be. Like a blighted ovum, or ectopic, you know just not viable in some way. I have no evidence to suggest anything untoward is happening x

@AliceAbsolum that's completely understandable, try and remain calm lovely you are having symptoms and whilst it's easy for me to say relax just remember everything will be okay. Stress is not good for you or baby. Not long now and I'm certain this time tomorrow you'll be updating us with happy news x

Happy news indeed. We saw a heartbeat and there is only one. Utterly thrilled 😁😁😁

@AliceAbsolum SO happy for you!! 😍

Fantastic news

@AliceAbsolum wohoooo great news!

Nearly had to hang-up on a client at work because I thought I was going to vom! Eeep. For someone with severe and chronic emetephobia my relief that I'm nauseous is just weird. Sack of CBT - just get pregnant and have anx about losing it /eye-roll/

How are we all doing?

I'm trying to tell myself that you can't rush this. I'm over halfway through the 1st trimester - that aint bad! I need to slow down, settle-in and accept that this is where I am right now, and thats OK.

@AliceAbsolum this did make me smile, I too have such a phobia of sick, being sick or someone having a bug it concerns me one day having a child and having to clean up the vom 🤢 you're doing fabulous and you're right you're over half way now. It took a long time for it to settle in with me I remember waking up at 10 weeks and just feeling this overwhelming sense of relief and love. It's so normal to feel like waaaaaah is going on?! X

@Hopingforbabyd Thank-you thats good to know! 10 weeks is a good milestone for sure. 3.3 weeks to go!

Terrified about the 12 weeks scan already! Might book one for 9 weeks - Does anyone know if it is it over the tummy then?

@AliceAbsolum if I had it my way I'd have a scan every week just so I can see the baby because it really is so lovely 😍 I have an app called Pregnancy+ it's really good if you haven't got it already I'd recommend it as it shows you what baby looks like and how you might be feeling. Your partner can download a version for themselves too and tells them how you might be feeling.
I think at 10 weeks they do just tummy but depending on the position of baby they may want to do internal as well. Either way it'll be so lovely to see your little babe again. When you reach that 12 week mark you'll feel so much more relieved. Enjoy momma! X

Opinions on early scans? I'm considering booking one for 9 weeks. Concerned about the previous spotting and the wait til 12 weeks just seems so long. If there is a problem (which is a slim chance I know) I'd rather know at 9 weeks than 12. Plus I think it will reduce the anxiety of the 12 week scan.
But it's money, and I'm concerned it might make me more anxious knowing I've got a scan coming up, going to the appt, etc.

Thoughts?

I'd say go for it @AliceAbsolum the scans won't harm baby and will give you reassurance. I had my scan at 8 weeks and it was internal (this was the clinic) but it was also visible on ultrasound. Where abouts do you live? I paid £50 for a reassurance scan and so pleased I did x

I've just booked it so I'm glad you agree £99! And that's an offer down from 150!
I'll be 9+1 so hoping to see a little wriggler. Feel relieved. That was a good decision.

@AliceAbsolum you go gurl!! £99 well spent and you'll be in absolute awe seeing your little babe on that screen! When are you going for your scan? X

@Hopingforbabyd so glad you are getting excited about your little boy. I do have endo but the bleeding isn’t to do with that, it is just from this heamotoma-but had very minimal spotting this last week so hoping for the best.

@AliceAbsolum pleased to hear the symptoms are reassuring. I was lucky really as I didn’t suffer much but at the time I wanted reassurance. I’m now mostly feeling really exhausted. Those first few weeks are so hard, I’m still struggling a bit but it is amazing when I think how many weeks have gone by now. Hang in there. Christmas should pass some time for us! I had a scan at exactly 9 weeks and it was on the stomach, I think it will vary tho. I booked a lot of scans -couldn’t stop myself. I do now think I need to relax and take it easy on the scans.

11w3 today. My harmony test came back low risk for the three trisomies so one more hurdle. Still feeling pretty anxious but keep having to remind myself to chill. Can’t wait /really scared about 12 week scan on Monday. Hope I relax after that.

Good luck all.

@Hopingforbabyd 13th Dec, its a Friday, but thats fine as I'm not superstitious at all.

@mouse1234567 I'm in awe of how you have coped. I felt empathy for you of course when you had that bleed - but until I fell pregnant myself I couldn't fully understand the fear of it. 11+4 today! Not long til 12 week scan.
VERY pleased to hear your harmony test came back low risk. I don't think I'm going to have one...what made you decide too? @hoping4babyd did you have one?

I have kept away from google a lot more recently which has really helped and I've decided to be very strict with myself about being positive as well as negative. So if I talk about negative stuff here I'm going to end on a positive. Here we go:

I don't know how to enjoy this when its so early :( How can you let yourself be excited when it could be all taken away?

BUT I'm 7 weeks today, feeling sicker and sicker. I have no reason to suspect anything is wrong. I spoke to my GP yesterday and she said there is often a small amount of blood in the cervix and dildocam can dislodge it. What else...I have very supportive friends, and work colleagues so I'm lucky. I'm grateful to be in this position and its only 2 weeks until I can know more.