Anxiety/Panic Attacks/Nightmares/Terrors

[Queeniepoos]

Haven't really had any of these issues in years & years, let alone in a bulk assault on my much needed rest but now I can't get a break. Every night I'm kept up in a constant state of panic. If I do doze off, I'm ripped from my sleep within minutes to a full on attack. I have to get out of bed & go walk around the garden. I can't breathe & I'm sure I actually will have a heart attack one day. It's truly terrifying & I need a way out of this. My OH is useless, doesn't understand it & sleeps like the dead anyway! Please can anyone help? I'm exhausted & I can't take this anymore. I've got 24weeks left to go & then I'll probably not sleep because I'll be watching my baby breathe all night if my experiences with DS are anything to go by.

@Queeniepoos - I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much.
Have you told your midwife/GP?
The first thing might be to try antidepressants, as this sounds debilitating and is robbing you of much needed rest.
Mindfulness? breathing techiques? Writing down everything that is worrying you before sleep and when you wake up? Panic attacks don't cause heart attacks to my knowledge but it may trigger the fear that it will.

Watching your baby breathe all night is one of the things listed for perinatal OCD - can you identify / remember the thought behind wanting to watch him all night? For example- my baby might stop breathing, so I must watch him constantly or its my fault? it might be more complex than that but hope that makes sense. Tamingolivia.com is a blog written by a mum with perinatal OCD - might be helpful to check it out and see if you relate to it - might put you in a better position to get the right help.

btw there is no shame in admitting to struggling - sounds like you need support - counselling, MH midwife, antidepressants - Sertraline is safe for pregnancy and BF I think.

hope that helps. you can do this and you are not alone.

Thanks for the reply Istef. I'm not depressed hun, it's anxiety. Totally different thing. I know where it all originates & why it's happening but that doesn't stop it. I've had more miscarriages than most people can imagine & I'm very high risk. There's many other things weighing heavily on my mind but even when there's nothing at all anxiety & these issues can still happen.
I didn't realise there was a name for watching the baby sleep, thought it was just being overprotective but it was compulsive. Literally was terrified he'd stop breathing if I slept & I watched him til he was about 8mnths. Did find a way round it so I could sleep a bit in the end. Be less of an issue this time because I was a single parent then & I'm not now.
I think all I need is to know there's someone else who understands it & who might be about in the night for the same reasons-needing distraction & a dose of normality to pull our heads straight so we can try & get some rest. My OH doesn't understand it & makes it worse trying to help. Also I don't like to wake him when he has to be up for the school run & straight to work. It's like raising the dead trying to wake him up anyway. 😂
I will definitely have a look at that blog. Saving it for tonights panic attack diversion!

I just wanted to say that antidepressants can help with anxiety too- doctors seem to prescribe them for both (I had both), and I hear that it's anxiety and yes I agree they are completely different. My DP had panic disorder and is medicated with antidepressants :)

Yes, those thought patterns sound like an obsessive thought i.e. he will stop breathing if I close my eyes and then the reaction to that thought/fear is the compulsion - to stay awake watching him so that fear doesnt come true. (I have OCD - so I have things that I do to stop me being anxious - locking doors in a certain way, for example). I also have another type but wont go into it here but hopefully it shows that I can relate at least in some way.

Its hard when partners dont get it or dont know how to help and night time panic attacks must be terrifying as there are less people around to talk to and less distractions at night.

Plus you have the added stress of previous MCs so I can imagine it's even harder with that on your mind.

I would speak to your GP/midwife - maybe you're already under the MH team but sounds like some additional support would be helpful - only you can know though.

All the best
xx

Done my battles with ocd & anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, alsorts 20years ago. Everything times 3 or 7, things in a certain order, specific way.... Few harmless remnants like alphabetical dvds & organised cupboards with labels to the front but no triple light switches/door locks etc! 😂
Had a similar situation to the current one during pregnancy with ds 11yrs ago. Nothing helped except a mate to keep me company online/ on the phone when I panicked at night. To be honest I'd rather not medicate, I broke it myself before & I can again with time. Midwives/consultants have too many health issues to concentrate on without one they can't fix! 😂 Nice to speak to someone who get it tbh.

Fair enough that you don't want medication, and if you've battled it all before you can do it again.

I'm surprised they havent asked about the emotional side of things, or maybe they have.

Have you heard of Matt Haig? He's written two books , Reasons to stay alive, and notes on a nervous planet (Ive read the 1st, not 2nd yet) - he recovered from severe anxiety without meds.

Anyway I hope you find something that works and that it gets easier for you.

X

My hospital is notoriously bad, pretty much the shame of the nhs. They did once ask if I'd had pnd before, I said no but I have had and. They just said oh ok. That was at about 9wks.
The anxiety's not bad compared to the mess I was years ago. Daytime is fine, it's just the night. I start to doze & suddenly I'm hyper alert & in full panic mode or anxiety creeps in with the dark & stops me relaxing to even try & sleep. When I do sleep, I get wrenched awake straight into a terrifying panic, can't breathe, heart pounding, cold sweat. Best cure I've ever found for that is a friendly face talking rubbish as a diversion. Puppy & kitten videos aren't quite cutting it at the moment. Does seem to be a pregnancy thing with me, starts about the same amount of weeks every time & goes afterwards.
I'll look into those books.

ugh crappy healthcare doesn't help.

Yikes, that sounds terrifying, especially at night time. Just when you want to rest and get some sleep.

I've had panic attacks in the night and night terrors too, but recently dont wake up properly and then settle again. When it happened in my teens I needed a light on (nightlight) especially when I was ill. Now during pg I fall asleep to sleep stories on youtube with a dim light on - I don't cope well with nausea so that seems to help.

Feel free to continue sharing if its helpful, I might not reply very quickly, dont wanna keep suggesting things to try as I think sometimes just someone listening or reading helps (well, it does for me! :) ) - I write stuff on the ante-natal clubs section when I'm feeling crappy.

All the best and you can do this!