This is a strange one, but baby is due in just a few days. There has been a lot of anxiety about the baby and the baby size, as she is underweight. Everything seemed fine, but could not really find some reasons for her to be underweight, possibly leading to mother being induced in a few days.
I am a bit on the anxious side and my wife is more relaxed, but I have to my horror found out that our neighbours in the apartment below smoke more then I thought. I'm not at home so often so was not tracking, but as I spend more time here, I'm noticing more the smoking. Perhaps due to summer, its been coming in through the window more then usual.
I warned the Mrs, but she likes the windows open, so the neighbours below who smoke onto their balcony, some comes up and I can notice it, not all the time. But what worries me now is connecting the issue of small baby, my inability to get the Mrs to close the doors, and also my late realisation they smoke more then first even estimated by me being at home more. Of course the neighbours won't stop smoking, but I only feel better by venting my anger at them. Ironically they have an infant, and smoke on their balcony. Perhaps they are less sensitive because they feel they are shutting out the harm, but that harm comes to us.
I created another thread, about the smoking, first me, having a cigar outdoor, but since then I've realised more and more about the issues at home rather then one offs. Now I've switched from anxiety into quite a depression about the harm that baby, because you read so many things about the dangers and SHS and effects on development, especially brain development. My big fear is that we have harmed our child and I did not do enough early enough to get this problem resolved or even move about from these awful people below.
So already the excitement has now morphed into one of stressed depression as I really fear the birth and any damage to baby and her potential caused by living here and for that I really blame myself.