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Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

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Original poster

Dec ladies - when will you tell?

22 replies

BeachBunni · 08/04/2007 14:55

Hi everyone. I'm new here and hope you don't mind me joing in. I'm due 3rd Dec (first time) and was wondering when everyone else is going to tell.
Sense tells me to wait for my first scan (which I will get early as I have a higher chance of ectopic pg). I'm dying to let people know as I'm not superstitious and I can't keep a secret (not my own anyway).
I'm fed up making excuses for not drinking, not going to parties and stopping smoking in the house when it previously didn't bother me.
I think people are beginning to twig (a few raised eyebrows when I ordered sprite at the bar the other night).
Is anyone going to spread their good news early or will you wait for the 12wks?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mad4girls · 08/04/2007 15:30

i have told a few close friends but not telling family till after my scan around 10 wks here due to 2 previous mc at 7 and 10 wks and not telling my 2 dds possibbly till later they are 7 and 4, well hold off as long as possible

preggerspoppet · 08/04/2007 15:49

tell who you like!

I think the 12 week rule is so rediculous, if you are to misscarry then surely it is better to have lots of support around you, but not only that -the first 12 weeks are really tough in preg (normally) and I think the more people around you that are aware of what you are going through, the better!

being sick at work or totally exhasted and having nobody giving sympathy or being able to appreciate what you are going through must be pretty lonley and miserable.

just tell 'em, you know you want to!

preggerspoppet · 08/04/2007 15:51

(meant to say)

I had two early misscarrages before my third preg and hadn't told anyone (maybe one friend)

when I did misscarry and told my friends they were very sympathetic but found it hard to appreciate that I was ever preg at all. wheres as if it had been anounced before then then they may have felt it a little more for me iyswim.

JARM · 08/04/2007 15:57

another december baby!

Im due 1st dec, and have so far told my dad and PIL.

We only told PIL because they are coming to visit on Thursday for the long weekend, and I am really quite rough at the moment, so didnt want them to think i was ill as such.

I told my dad 2 days after I found out, because we are so close, and I know that should the worse happen, I would need him.

Im just trying to work out the best time to tell me brother and SIL, and DH's sister etc.

Being only 6 weeks, I still feel it is a little early.

purplefraggle · 08/04/2007 20:35

Hard one - got to be the right time for you, which is the most important thing. But looking at it from the point of view of others, whoever you tell first the second will be disappointed they didn't know first (if you get what i mean!)and lets face how often do you get the chance to tell everyone at once.
I think your right preggerspoppet!
JARM hope you don't mind me asking (by all means tell me to bog off if you like!)am i right in thinking PIL aren't local? just wondered as you have mentioned seeing your brother before and was curious why you hadn't told him?? sorry if this is too nosey!

cazzybabs · 08/04/2007 20:42

I am waiting for my 12 week scan to tell everybody because I have had 2 mc and found teeling people really hard as I am normally quite a private person and I cried in front of them. But before my mc I had 2 successful pregnanices and 2 beautiful daughters I did let slip a few times to close friends and we old our parents.

cazzybabs · 08/04/2007 20:43

OHHH and please join us the due in december thread.

Original poster

BeachBunni · 08/04/2007 21:45

I actualy think it's my OH being more cautious than I am. I'm normally a very open person and have said to him if anything happened I'd rather people knew about it. After all, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
The only people I have told are my parents, although it wasn't the same as they live abroad and I had to tell them over the phone so I couldn't see their faces. Apparently my dad has been grinning ear to ear about the poss of being a granda for the first time.
It will just be good when I can get things out in the open and share with other girls I know who have had kids or are pg. It's kinda scarey for the first time!

OP posts:

LieselVentouse · 08/04/2007 21:53

Sorry to butt in but was just passing and noticed your name Cazzy - was I on the conception thread with you?

JARM · 09/04/2007 07:33

PurpleFraggle - ask away love!

PIL are 200 miles away, so only see them a few times a year, just happens one of the visits happens to be this weekend when i feel really rough! (They are also bring up DH's nieces, so also didnt want them to think i had a bug and could pass it on)

We will tell my brother and SIL soon, just not sure when yet.... I guess Im a little aprehensive of the reaction, as due to SIL medical condition, they arent in a position where they can try for a baby at the moment.

I know SIL is desperate for a baby, and I guess in some ways I dont want to upset her. Ive already had remarks of "Let someone else have a chance" and "dont you think 2 is enough" etc, and my SIL is one scary lady! Not someone you want to get on the wrong side of!

cazzybabs · 09/04/2007 10:52

LieselVentouse - I was breifly on there - Feb, March and very briefly April where I comically said "Ohh am joinning April because I am sure AF is due to start any moment"!!!!! or not....

FourForMe · 09/04/2007 11:00

I'm going to wait until after 12 week scan. This is #4and unplanned and am feeling a little sheepish about it.

Caz10 · 09/04/2007 16:27

I've told my parents, I'm only 5 weeks, but this is our 1st pg, and if something were to go wrong I think it would be too much of a double whammy for them to take in, i.e. we were pregnant but now we're not. They didn't even know we've been trying. I feel better now my mum knows, also it will be nice having someone to talk to about it other than boring DH silly! With 1 or 2 close friends I think I will try to wait till 8ish weeks, then 13-14 for the rest of the world, all going well!

purplefraggle · 10/04/2007 20:34

JARM - how sad for your brother and SIL i hope it is something that can be resolved for them. I have a friend in a similar situation although hers is more permanent and she says that everywhere she looks people have bumps and that is hard for her especially as 2 of her friends are pg now. your lucky enough to have babies so don't be too hard on her, just think how you would feel in her position. Also thinking about what you said she has been like maybe she worries about you all (have seen some of your army thread)especially with your upcoming change of circumstances??? who knows?? please don't think i'm butting in as that really isn't my aim but whilst your all excited just bear them in mind and don't think badly of her. (off to hide incase i've caused offence)

JARM · 11/04/2007 06:00

I know wgat you mean purple - honestly i do.

THe army thing is actually looking good at the moment, DH is getting his medical discharge, so we will be better off once it all goes through, not that there arent still concerns.

My SIL isnt the sort of person to feel empathy unfortunately, nothing against only children, but she is the typical spoilt brat, even at almost 29 yrs old. She brings home a silly amount of money each month, and spends it ALL on clothes/shoes/bags. She has little tantrums if she cant get what she wants! I love her to bits, but she also really gets on my nerves sometimes!

I think we are going to tell them next week, trying to get to 8 weeks before announcing to the world so to speak!

purplefraggle · 11/04/2007 07:09

but surely what she earns and spends is her business? if she wants to waste it all thats her problem really!

purplefraggle · 11/04/2007 07:10

And if she is an only child and a 'spoilt brat' as you put it what relation is that to telling them your news?

bambino1 · 16/04/2007 15:07

I told dh and sil straight away but sil was so excited she gave the game away and told most of friends and family! Wasn't best amused but hey they were going to find out sooner or later.

Kitsilano · 18/04/2007 18:13

I am 7 weeks today and have told a few people. I had a missed mc at 12 weeks before my dd and I have always felt that it is easier for people to be sympathetic when something goes wrong if they knew you were pregnant to start with. I told a good friend who is having a lot of trouble conceiving today. She asked outright and I couldn't lie but I felt really bad and wished I could have waited a few more weeks.

Nbg · 19/04/2007 06:47

I may aswell join this thread now.
Had my scan on tuesday which confirmed I was 7 weeks and 3 days and they gave me an EDD of the 1st December.
However I have to go back on the 15th May for my proper dating scan so the date may change.

We've told everyone now. We kept it quiet for a week after I found out as I was quite upset. This is unplanned number 3 for us and ds is just coming up to 8 months.

Race for us JARM

birdseed · 25/04/2007 17:09

DH says that telling parents etc earlier than 12 weeks will make them worry more/ have more stress and so is perhaps unfair. Not sure how you balance that with the need for support. What do you all think to that? And would you lie if asked directly by a friend?

Imawurzel · 26/04/2007 18:55

Hi all. Can i gatecrash??
I had a BFP yesterday morning, so did another in the evening to make sure.
Off to Doc's tomorrow morning to see about next step, this is our first.
DH told his parents last night and i'm telling mine on saturday.
Everyone else probably after 1st scan.
Oh and if my calculations are right should be 27th December. (LMP was 22/3/07)

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