Anyone else not excited?

[herlobster]

Hey just wondering if anyone is in the same boat. I'm nearing the 8 week mark with mine and dp first and I've got to admit I'm not excited in the slightest in fact it fills me with dread.

Everyone who knows is beyond excited, dp is so supportive and the people who we've told are so happy for us but I just can't get into the swing of excitement.

I can't help but think how the hell are we going to cope? What about work etc. We'd spoken about children but with reference to the future.

I'm not a naturally maternal person and there very few children I know that I actually like.

I feel so guilty, there are so many people out there that would hack of a limb to be in my position. I so want to want this baby but I'm really struggling and termination keeps crossing my mind! I don't want a termination but I'm so terrified I'm going to suck at this. It's not like when people ask 'are you excited?' I can say 'no I'm bloody well not so stop asking'

I'm such a mess has anyone felt even remotely similar or have any advice?!

That's natural i think. A massive life change is coming your way and i expect everyone's falling over themselves to tell you all the downsides of having dc - no sleep, no money, no time to yourself. I felt the same as you. A massive "What the hell have i done" shock for most of my pregnancy. But my twins are the absolute best thing that have ever ever happened to me. I can't believe i ever agonised over it. All you can see is the downsides right now. You won't get why it's all worth it until the baby is here.

By the way i don't like other peoples children. But im obsessed with my own

It's a life-changing moment so perfectly natural to feel scared. The reality of being pregnant throws up fears and anxieties that you might not have been expecting. You will probably run through the whole gamut of emotions during your pregnancy. Excitement is likely to crop up when you've got more used to the idea.

I think it's completely normal. Me and Dh were ttc, fell quickly and I instantly thought I'd made a massive mistake. Termination did cross my mind aswell. Sadly the pregnancy ended in miscarriage in April and I'm now desperate to try again. I know though, that when I get a bfp again I will have all the same feelings of doubt. I'm a terrible overthinker/anxious wreck so I expect nothing else from myself.

I genuinely thought I'd posted this for a moment.
To be fair, I'm only just starting to feel kinda excited as I'm a week away from finding out if I'm having a boy or girl but other than that it's more stress than anything and boredom as I can't work (I suffer from Hyperemesis and just finished university so nowhere will take me on for work atm)
As for people asking me if I'm excited, I have responded more often than not with 'no actually I'm not ' because why should I lie about how im feeling just so they don't feel weird about it? Respond how you want to it's fine.
As for work etc, My DH doesn't earn loads but he's very good at budgeting so maybe getting used to that or saving money will help you? At least you'll have something to fall back on. And family may decide to help chip in. My parents are buying things for us coz they know how expensive it can be first time round especially. Nothing major but things like nappies and making clothes or toys or blankets saves us spending money.
And don't feel like you have to buy the most expensive things either. DH and I are going to buy a cheap cotbed and splurge a little on the mattress because why spend 400 on something that is just as good for under 100?
And don't feel bad about thinking of terminating. I know a few ladies who have thought the exact same thing, me included. Usually when I'm worked up and have just thrown up for the 10th time that day. But it's a huge change to your system so just remember that! You're allowed to feel however you want.

I felt like this. Feeling of dread mostly. Pregnancy was unplanned and MAP failed. DP didn't want anymore. I have been depressed throughout and booked a termination at 22 weeks but bottled it. I'm 27 weeks now and still have down days but generally starting to feel more upbeat about it; even started buying a few second hand bits for baby.

Pregnancy feels like it lasts forever, so there is a lot of time to change your headspace. At about 13 weeks I was really brave and went to a pregnancy fayre where I met a lot of very supportive people running workshops - pilates, hypnobirthing, breastfeeding etc, and other mums. This has helped a lot, I've become involved in quite a few things during pregnancy as I've
felt like it which have helped me understand more and accept whats happening.

But literally, every time someone said 'congratulations' my heart sinks. You aren't alone in how you feel xx

I feel the same way. I'm currently 26 weeks and am getting slightly more interested in finding out what this baby is going to be like but am more worried about the change its going to have to our lives. I often worry if we've made the right decision. I take comfort from the fact that other friends who didn't think they wanted kids and had them say it was the best decision. I'm trying not to think about it too much because there's nothing I can do or prepare for - life is going to change I'm just not sure exactly by how much. All depends on the baby! Fingers crossed maternal instincts will eventually kick in once it's born! Good luck x