Post Partum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder...

[apwd]

I've been suffering with postnatal depression since early December after my DS2 was born in September. I've always had slight OCD but the PND has made it worse. My mum found an article in a magazine about PPOCD and it exactly what I am suffering. I was so pleased she found the article at least I dont think I am going crazy anymore. I don't want to go into a lot of detail right now but is there anyone else who knows what I am going through?

Hi, i had PND with no.5 , I became completely crazy about cleaning, and checking everything +++ i even reached the point where i hoovered soooooo much i broke the dyson, I became really angry if anyone used the toilet that i had just bleached. My teenage kids called me mrs bleach!! Things are MUCH better now, in fact i can laugh about it, i am thinking of you x

The cleaning sounds familiar! I'm more obsessed with having to do things a certain way esp when I put him down for the night. I think that if I dont do certain things then my baby will die. I know in my rational mind these are silly thouhts but I can't not do these things - just in case.

i am very similar and yet pnd can make it all worse - wish i could read article!

sorry should read yes not yet

My mum read it in a magazine yesterday and 'phoned me from on holiday. She is going to pass it on to me when she gets back, I'll ask her what the magazine is called and let you know.
turns out my mum also had it.

So true,one of my triggers for depression is being over tired, DH says this is when i make mountains out of mole hills!!

Hi there. I have suffered from OCD all my life and take clomipramine for it - I am now 26 weeks pg, still on the clomipramine (with GP permission). I read that article too, and worried about it. I guess in my case I will up the dosage of my ADs. Just to reassure you, clomipramine has worked wonders on my OCD, so there is help available.

The doc prescribed citalopram for the pnd but i dont want to take it. maybe i should. I'm worried about not feeling in control of things whilst i'm on it.

NotanOtter - the magazine is called Easy Living. It has a picture of Teri Hatcher on the cover. April issue.

APWD - don't want to go into too many ghastly details but I supressed OCD for years (it does run in families), and after ds1 was born it got very bad indeed. FWIW, yes it did go sway, and yes, I had cbt therapy to help me deal with depression and anxiety, and although I never directly talked about OCD it was all part of it. It stems from the anxiety you feel (that ALL new mums feel) and is a way of trying to control everything, by 'stopping' bad things happening. In the end mine went away partly because I learned to relax (although I'm still rubbish at it) and partly because I learned not to tense up everytime I had a 'bad' thought. I just said ' oh dear, ocd again'and bored myself stupid waiting for the panic to subside. It took about 2 years to clear. I remember thinking I was mad and no one knew, and that if they did know they would take my child away, and that if I wasn't mad that meant I was sane, and THAT meant that the thoughts were real and I really was going to die etc etc etc etc.......and so the circle of panic went round and round and round. What I am trying to say is that you are NOT crazy, and that, just like me and thousands of others you will be free of it eventually. The less you worry about having it the less time it takes to go.

i have experience of OCD, which flared up whilst PG. Prozac has helped me immensely. I think it is very common for OCD sufferers to be scared of medication, in case they somehow "lose control", recognise that this is part of the illness, and don't let this alone deter you from meds. Recommended treatment for OCD is ADs such as citalopram and/or CBT. What callmemadam has described up there are CBT techniques for dealing with OCD - it is difficult but not impossible for someone with mild OCD to use self-help materials to reduce symptoms. Personally I found it impossible without seeing a psychologist for CBT as well.

2 books you may find useful:-
OCD workbook by Hyman and Pedrick
Imp of the Mind - the Silent Epidemic of obsessive thoughts by Lee Baer

I can second those book choices, mummytostephen. I have had CBT but it is dependent on a good therapist,and commitment from you. My view is that ADs combined with CBT is probably best.

OCD does run in families, in my experience, it is hard finding out who suffers/has suffered as lots of my relatives will not admit to any problem. There is a definite brain chemistry issue, which I think is genetic. This all helps in knowing it is NOT your fault.

Thanks for the advice. I have seen a pshchiatric nurse for the PND and he has recognised the OCD and put me on 18 month waiting list to see psychologist. I daren't go see my doctor and tell him although I think I am going to have to. I worry that in the night when I am asleep I will do something to my DS2 without me realising I am doing it. Such a big fear. Yet in the day time I know how silly these thoughts are.
Worrying about this on a night plus the routines I have to go through, its really getting me down.
Sorry to moan on. I know I am not a mad person - so why have these thoughts. Just anxiety I suppose.
The silly things is I understand the process of it all but somehow can't stop.

Hi apwd. In the article it walked about your feelings that you might hurt the child and said that this never happens. Do go and see your GP, the 18 month wait is ludicrous.

The 18 month wait is dire, but not untypical of NHS. I agree with doggus about going to your GP. Did CPN discussion medication with you? Btw at one point when I had a spate of intrusive thoughts OCD, I was worrying I had poisoned my housemates' milk without realising(!), it is scary but it is the anxiety disorder that is giving you the unpleasant thoughts, it's not a sign of "going mad" or that you are really an evil axe murderer or anything. I really think you would find it useful to read the "Imp of the Mind" and realise just how common these unpleasant thoughts are, just a lot of people don't admit to them.

Hi i have 2 kids after my second child I had post natal dipression with ocd. It was very bad. I had only obsessions about filosofikal thinking, thinking about who we are and where we came from. I know im obsessed but they still come. Im taking fluoxetine and flupentixol. Now im a bit better. I would like to know if theres someone who had these types of obsession because i think im the only one here.

Hi there I went on a night out a week before I discovered I was pregnant and knew I'd been embarrassing the next day but slowly that thought has manifested itself into 'I must've had sex with my boss' although we were in a bar and there were no signs. Well I obsessed first about how the baby wasn't my DPs but have been reassured about that so much I've started to accept it but now I've obsessing about asking my now ex boss ( I left under good circumstances of my own accord- nothing to do with this). A couple of well meaning people said it might help to know but my best friend and DP advised against it saying I will feel very embarrassed and embarrass him but its like an obsession that if he says nothing happened I will feel relieved and stop worrying.

Hi,

I am so glad I have found this, I suffered with post partum ocd after my first little girl was born in 2006 but I had no idea what it was - my doctor diagnosed the baby blues and I visited her weekly for a few months for 'talking therapy'. The thoughts were horrendous and I thought I'd always feel that way, but after a few months I felt much better and within a year the thoughts were totally gone - just through talking. I was able to watch most things on tv again, as I'd only been able to watch 'nice' programmes. I was terrified that I'd have the same thing when my second little girl was born but amazingly I was fine.

I can still get stressed and anxious at times but a lot of the advice on here has been great, I'm going to try yoga and mindfulness to focus my mind on the here and now and enjoy my family time. Sleep helps enormously, when I don't get 8 hours I can feel worse.

I know how horrible intrusive thoughts can be. In the book Postpartum Depression for Dummies, the author, Shoshana Bennett says,
"The irony of PP OCD is that a mom who had it is the most careful, protective mother of all. Her protective instincts are constantly working overtime."

"The theory regarding why a mom with postpartum OCD has thoughts about harming her baby is this: She obsesses on the most horrible thoughts possible and the absolute worst thought is that she herself may be the cause of that harm. Her obsessive, anxious mind lands on these self-incriminating thoughts, often in a barrage of nonstop horror."

"Moms who are suffering from OCD aren't a danger to their babies. they're simply overprotective. There isn't one report to date (book published in 2007) of any mother with postpartum OCD, ever following through on any of her scary thoughts. She's just afraid she will, which is a huge difference from actually going through with the thoughts."

This helped me a lot.