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Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

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Original poster

BFP with 3rd at 41 any other older mums out there?

15 replies

BHR2003 · 31/08/2014 11:44

Just got BFP, scared and excited as my 3rd pg, other DC 9 & 12 when baby is due and I will be 42 eek.... Know it's very early days and lots of risks involved, but really wanted another and been through various gynae surgery over last few years which left me with one ovary, so never thought it possible. Thinking of having the harmony test at the FMC due to my age, welcome any advice or experiences of others either with the harmony test or being an older mum with a big age gap like me. Still can't quite believe it's happened but so very happy....

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Youarejustwordsonascreenpeople · 31/08/2014 12:57

I had DC1 at 37 and was called an older mum and treated with kids gloves.

DC2 when I was 41 and we had a lot of help with getting pregnant, so I was constantly monitored through out the pregnancy but not because of my age.

DC3 arrived when I was 43 after being told I most likely couldn't have any more children. Conceived naturally with a scare at around 20 weeks where I was in hospital for monitoring for a week but apart from that they gave me no special treatment and I wasn't counted as an older mum at all.

7to25 · 31/08/2014 14:31

Congratulations!
I am now 55 with a ten year old.....my next youngest is 22!
You will be fine. I was very tired in the early baby stages because I had the other children to look after as well as a newborn. I was threatened with early induction but went to 40+5 and was induced but it was quick and absolutely fine

DoYouThinkSheSawUs · 31/08/2014 14:39

I had dd1 at 38 and dd2 (10 months) at 40. Would love a dc3 at 41-43 ish :)

Had no unusual problems. Wasn't given any special attention. Had quite bad sickness up to 16 weeks so dd1 saw a lot of cbeebies when she wasn't at the childminders, and had SPD from 21 weeks - but was much better than in my first pregnancy as I was slinging dd1 on my back up to 38 weeks so had core muscles of steel

I don't see that much difference in my energy levels between myself and my NCT group 10-15 years younger. In fact I've just taken up couch to 5k!

7to25 · 31/08/2014 14:42

Sorry, posted too soon.
I am not the oldest mum in the class! One brave lady had her son at 46.
The downsides for me have been having an "only one" but there was no way I was having another. I have tried to make the best of everything and I think that he has the disadvantage of an older mother but I have gained a bit of wisdom and experience over the years. My friends are now child free and can do what they want while I am still going to sports fixtures on a Saturday morning.

Original poster

BHR2003 · 31/08/2014 14:52

Thank you for your positive experiences, it's slowly sinking in and won't tell other children until I get to 12 weeks if I can, just heard so many sad and scary stories about being in your forties, but I suppose I had 2 straight forward pregnancies and deliveries there is no reason that this one won't be the same. Mentally and financially I feel in a much better place as having my younger 2 so close together was really tough....so looking forward to experiencing it in a different frame of mind with plenty of help from my 2 little helpers. Thanks again, did any of you have the harmony test?

OP posts:

DoYouThinkSheSawUs · 31/08/2014 15:10

Which one is the harmony? Can't remember, as I wasn't too fussed, and came out very very low risk anyway - I had the 3 blood test one?

DoYouThinkSheSawUs · 31/08/2014 15:12

Oh and I had a 4 hour easy delivery with dd2 - and was at a birthday party with dd1 2 days later no problem :)

Roonerspism · 31/08/2014 15:17

I'm pregnant with DC3 and am 39, so only slightly younger.

I don't really feel like an "older" mum.

Where I live, lots of women have their first at 40. No one bats an eyelid. No one has commented on my age thus far.

I have felt less tired this pregnancy too!

All the very best to you - you sound so happy :)

Original poster

BHR2003 · 31/08/2014 15:28

Harmony is the private test, it's very new but gives a more accurate result for trisomy including downs. Lots on MN about it, everyone seems v positive for peace of mind.

Yes I think in my eyes I don't feel that old, 2 mums same age of me in DC2 class also pregnant at mo, so we will prob have children in same year again, which when I think about that scares me slightly that I will still be going to same primary school until I'm 54, well with a slight gap in between, but I love it and that was one of my reasons for having another, I love having them and just wish i had done it sooner so I didn't have such a big gap, makes it a bit easier with DC1 going off to secondary school. I think family will be the ones that think I'm too old, I think the older generation do, think there might be some funny comments to come but will just have to grit my teeth and smile....I'm so happy, just wish I cld share it with friends and family but will have to keep it between us for now??

OP posts:

Roonerspism · 31/08/2014 16:16

Yes it might be a family thing. My mum trotted out her third at 40 (in the eighties when it was more unusual). It doesn't seem unusual for us and lots of my friends have had their first later, never mind their second.

I was a bit more nervous this time about abnormalities etc - I still am. We declined the downs blood test on the basis it wouldn't change our decision - but it does pray on my mind.

But the odds are that everything will be absolutely fine.

It's a lovely delicious secret for you just now :)

Original poster

BHR2003 · 31/08/2014 17:02

Thanks

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Youarejustwordsonascreenpeople · 31/08/2014 20:05

I have to say we declined all extra tests as we knew we would keep any babies what ever the outcome so it didn't seem worth it.

HerRoyalNotness · 16/09/2014 00:07

I'm 41 and pregnant with Dc3. 17w. I have had moments of argh, how will we cope, we have DC 7 and 4. Baby doing very well. I've had bleeding from low placenta, but otherwise fine. Bit more tired this time around. Have low risk for downs.

I realised recently that my DGM had her 13th baby at 44!

Original poster

BHR2003 · 16/09/2014 19:29

Good to hear another positive story. I'm nearly 7 weeks now, feeling absolutely fine, bouts of tiredness and desperate to tell my best friends but still scared it's too early and trying not to tempt fate. Still not made GP/MW appointment yet, think I might leave till 8 weeks, got a scan for ongoing ovarian issues at week 9 anyway so hoping I might get to see something then.

OP posts:

mamaslatts · 03/10/2014 12:08

I am same as you age wise, will be 42 when this DC3 is born (my other 2 are younger than yours though) so also a little nervous. I am currently 8 weeks. I looked at the harmony test too although it did say it wasn't 'diagnostic' so not sure what you are getting that isn't provided by the nhs tests/scans. If you come back high risk and want a diagnostic it will still be an amnio test. i'm mulling it over at the minute.

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