February 2014 - We've got big bumps and we cannot lie...

[DawnOfTheDee]

You other mothers can't deny,
When a girl walks in with an ever expanding waist
And a round thing in your face
You....'d better give her some cake....

etc, etc,

New thread! Enjoy!

Jealous of all the NCT classes here too. I know as I'm on #3 I probably don't need to go to antenatal classes but they are a great way to meet others at a similar stage to you. :)

Feeling absolutely rough. Thought I was on the mend but am having another sleepless night, nose alternately blocked/ running, sinuses hurt, head hurts, ear hurts. Got a busy day coming up today - dentist appointments for whole family, teaching, DS2's nativity, but could only get 2 tickets for it so don't know what to do with DS1 - argh! Maybe I will just send DH with DS1 for the latter and see if I feel better by Wednesday afternoon for that performance (which will hopefully be less busy).

Urgh, so sick of not being able to take anything to make myself feel better. My skin is all sore and chapped from blowing my nose so much and I just want to sleep but can't! Sorry for another self-pitying rant. I really dislike pregnancy...

Thanks, Eeyore and Misskat :)

Gah, I feel and look awful this morning. After yesterday's long train journey I arrived home late and shattered, and promptly burst into irrational tears! I'm really shattered and can't see how I'm going to get through the last few weeks at work, which is pathetic considering I only have 9 days left. I couldn't sleep because I worked myself up into such a state!

Oh well, at least I'm wfh today, although we've got the plasterers in. They drilled through a pipe yesterday luckily it wasn't an electric cable! I hope they don't do anything as silly today....

Hope everyone else is coping a bit better!

Well done Jazz.
Hope you feel better Julie, eeyore and anyone further up thread hav

*having a tough time.

I still have 18 office days to go and finding it hard to care but if you have Can't Be Arsed day in my place you are the one who suffers tomorrow. So I am trying to keep the CBAs at bay for now.

Had a lovely 32 week app. Bloods and heartbeat all fine. MW had no clue which was baby's head and which was its bum! She didn't really care at this point so the mystery continues.

Eeyore and Julietee sorry you're having a rough time of it. I'm counting down my working days now. Even finding it hard to motivate myself to do the teaching I do from home, but absolutely can't afford to stop that.

Sorry to hear of people feeling down. It seems like a tough time of year, trying to get lots done and with all these bugs going around and not much light during the day.

I've got the lurgy too, got through an entire box of tissues yesterday! Bit of an uptick in nausea and vomiting as well but maybe that's because I'm on the home stretch and hormones are changing again.

Eeyore oh dear!! Hope you manage a nap at some point today even with the plasterers around.

Jazz that's lovely news about your work, well done.

I've got 32 wk appointment today and taking The Boss to the vet for his jabs this morning. Dreading that. Last time he was put in his cage he crapped everywhere.

8 weeks to go! My cousin's waters broke this morning. I am , want it to be late January now... (and have dissertation finished, new car bought, etc etc...)

Does anyone else's bump seem to change firmness very often?
Recently mine feels like a puffed up balloon a lot of the time, then suddenly it's squishier at the top. I don't know whether it's bloating or possible BH, but it stayed firm all night last night, which seems to point away from BH?
Either way, very annoying new symptom! And if it's firm I feel weirdly out of breath when I try to go walking :(

Julietee mine does and I think it's all to do with the positioning of the baby. As they get bigger and have less space to move around in there, you're more likely to have prolonged periods of hard patches within the bump where their head/bottom is lying I find.

Eeyore I hope you are making the most of your wfh day and sitting in your pjs with chocolate and within arms reach - sounds like you need a bit of an R&R day to me!

I am home from the NHS bf class this morning. It has hit me. I AM HAVING A BABY. Facts and figures given out included how often they feed (8 times in 24hrs whether bf or bottle), how long it might feed at the breast for (up to 45 mins), that you need to express or feed every three hours (incl. through the night) to stimulate sufficient milk production, etc etc. We learnt different positions for optimum bf using dolls and I just sat there thinking "oh dear god, this is gonna be real in about 7-9 weeks".

I have to say that I am still on the fence about bf. I am scared that I won't succeed. I am worried that I will find it hard to feed when in company of friends and family (as family have already raised eyebrows and muttered 'hippy' when I mentioned I was considering bf). I am scared of it hurting/getting mastitis and sore nipples. I am worried that I won't cope with the feeding through the night. I have always needed my sleep and my action plan was for DH to do feeds until midnight then I take over but if I have to keep expressing/feeding every 3hrs to keep the milk going when then hell am I going to sleep? I don't have any positive bf role models in the family as every woman (including both of our mums) used bottles and are quite defensive about their choice. The only people I do know who've bf are friends.

Sorry for the long confusing waffle. I guess I'm just a little confused and scared about it all and know that in the fuzzy first few days of no sleep and lack of confidence I am likely to switch to bottles. I know this isn't the end of the world but I already feel like a failure.

We have 2 NCT breastfeeding sessions in January so perhaps I'll feel more informed/less worried after those.

Lovestobake Yeah, I did wonder if it was that. Except his head feels harder and seems to be lower down (I haven't felt any rib incursions yet, but I'm 5"8), whereas this is medium hard and bloaty all over.

Baby did lots of jiggling this morning and now I can't lean forward at all! I think it's sitting right under my ribs!

julietee, my bump does that too. Sometimes it's really obvious that it's a shoulder/back/bum and other times it just feels randomly tight.

Julie - my bump does that too and often goes hard at the top in the afternoon/evenings.

Jazz - try not to worry about breast feeding. I know people say it can be tricky at first but there is loads of support out there to help you (you should get a list of loads of contacts at your nct classes). Most areas have groups of women who meet up for coffee etc at a breast feeding friendly cafe and it can apparently be great to help feel more confident about it.

At the nct class last night the counsellor showed us the more normal positions to try and also showed us ones which basically involve you tilting back a bit and putting baby on you so it works with you to find the right position. Seemed like quite an easy way to try to get the baby latched on.

If you want to breast feed there are loads of benefits to you and baby, even if you can only do it for a short time so try not to let others put you off. On the other hand though, you will find what works for your family and if it isn't breast feeding try not to feel guilty. I know none of us can predict how we will find it - so try to learn as much about it as you can and don't be afraid to ask for the support if you are struggling at first.

I've been reading "the food of love" which my friend recommended after she really struggled with breast feeding.

Jazzcat - when they gave you those figures, did they say that was an average and not at all set in stone? This is my DC1 so I'm no pro obviously, but I know that those figures can wildly differ from baby to baby! Eg one friend's DS always fed (or latched at least) for 2 hours at a time. Some only 20 mins. This time can vary throughout the day. Some babies will feed a lot more frequently than 8 times, some a bit less depending on how efficient they are at feeding etc...also they generally need a bit less if bottle as bottle milk is more 'filling'. And it can change from day to day! Did they really say you had to pump or feed every three hours? I hate to call bullshit but none of my breastfeeding friends have had to wake themselves up through the night to pump just to keep production going and have actively avoided pumping as it can have a harmful impact on your supply? (Make you produce more than your baby is actually requiring unnecessarily) It's certainly not for everyone from what I can tell anyway...

Basically I think it's worth doing a bit of reading around rather than taking one person's what sounds like slightly dubious teachings as gospel (not that I'm suggesting you are!) and also have a few different lactation consultants numbers to hand and support in place if you choose to bf. Certainly hold fire on deciding anything or worrying about 'failing' until you've had the NCT bf classes in Jan for comparison at least. I hope they'll have a slightly different message. Mastitis and sore nips happen, but they are not inevitable and they are both temporary and cope able, especially after the experience of pregnancy and childbirth, which I think sets a new bar for tolerance to pain and discomfort! And you can cross the bridge of dealing with them if or when they occur.

Mostly though, I think; don't be swayed by other peoples choices or feel pressured into doing one method over another. Actually calling you a hippy seems a bit much! What suited them, suited them, and that's great but you'll have to wait and see what suits you, without any external
pressure (or indeed heaping pressure on yourself) and that's got sod all to do with them! They'd do better to support you whatever you choose. And if you change your mind after deciding a course of action then that doesn't make you a failure.

jazz try not to sweat it re bf - if you take nothing at all from Mumsnet, just remember that for every goady thread saying one way of feeding is better than another, there are thousands of comments from women who have had babies, or not, supporting a mum's choice to do either. The baby needs feeding, and that's that, and we're lucky we have a range of options that are all good for baby. So don't over-think it, if you can help it, and just remember that for all the rhetoric, you'll do what's best for you and your LO, and stuff everyone else.

And if your family start giving you grief, you can point out that you're not judging them for doing what was best for themselves and their families, so they can lay off you. I'm pretty much the other way round - DM was unable to bf for longer than a few weeks, but all my friends and family are assuming I'll be bf'ing from the get-go, no problems! So fingers crossed

Jazzcat just to echo everyone else and tell you not to worry. This 8 feeds in 24 hours business is not worth dwelling on. I'm afraid my DS didn't read that statistic, he fed 12-14 times - he was a snacker. Despite all my efforts to lengthen feeds.

But that phase passed really quickly, and the hormones really do get you through it. Or they did me. And yes, I was exhausted, but I found breast feeding very relaxing and rewarding so I never wanted to stop.

But everyone is different and you'll find your own way. Just don't worry about it, it will all work out.

Aww thanks everyone I think I was just a bit overwhelmed with it all, and it didnt help I went on my own and came home to an empty house so my only outlet for a winge was here! I think I'm going to try and not stress out too much between now and the NCT classes. gnitting I hear what you're saying, my brain is telling me that bf or bottle is fine as long as it's fed but I guess I'm feeling a little bamboozled as a first time mum. Poor thing isn't even here yet and I'm worried I'm making bad decisions!

The one thing the NHS staff did say today was that every day counts when bf - so even if I just manage to give that very first feed and then go straight to bottle that will be better than nothing. Every day following that is a bonus as far as they are concerned.

Tomorrow I have GTT and anti-D injection so cue more stress...

I do have a nail appointment booked in for the afternoon to cheer myself up though.

Fingers crossed GTT comes back negative and you can have a giant piece of cake to make you feel better too xxx

Jazzcat I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so disheartened about breastfeeding and speaking as someone who encountered various problems in the early weeks of breastfeeding, but stubbornly refused to consider anything other than making it work and then breastfed exclusively for 10.5 months, I would say don't listen to those average stats and just wait and see how things work for you and your baby. For what it's worth I think you're in a harder position than most with the lack of support from your family. I was never big on feeding in front of family and my Mum made me feel better about that by saying she was the same and that she actually found the act of breastfeeding a very intimate moment between her and the baby and that she actively preferred doing it alone in a room. The moment I started doing most feeds in my comfy feeding chair in the lovely calm nursery with my breastfeeding cushion, I felt the pressure lifted right off me and started to savour those moments.

If it's helpful at all, I obsessively logged all of DS' feeding timings in a notebook for months and months so could give you a sample of how it looked for us in the early weeks to try and give you a more real life picture? I would also just add that if you're anything like me, your body is awash with adrenaline in those early weeks, you feel amazing because you're no longer pregnant, you have a beautiful new baby and the fact that your nights are mostly a few periods of 2hrs sleep strung together really doesn't seem to matter. You don't have to get up to do to work the next day and you can lounge all day in your pjs if you want and have multiple naps when the baby sleeps during the day to catch up if you feel like it (easier with DC1 of course!)

I don't tend to add much to feeding discussions because I've experienced both sides and know how emotive the topic can be. I do want to add to the bit about breastfeeding infront of family though.
My dad told me to take newborn ds2 to feed him in the bathroom (this was my own house and he was visiting). Not wanting to cause an awkward situation I just left and sat on my bed feeding the baby for an hour while the visitors eventually decided to leave. I was completely covered so there wouldn't have been an issue with exposing myself.
People don't realise how long individual breastfeeds can take and now I would never be told where to feed my baby especially by a generation who are completely clueless about breastfeeding.
If you choose to breastfeed I think it helps if your husbands/partners are completely onside and will help support you especially when dealing with awkward relatives. You have to be confident with your choice. I've prepped DP and my two boys so I should have lots of support and hopefully my boys will grow up knowing that its entirely normal.

Loves if you don't mind sharing, it would be great to see what your early feeds looked like with your DS.

I am another one who is feeling pretty committed to bf and mostly worried about it going wrong. Luckily DH and all family are very supportive, and the two close friends I have who've already had kids both struggled with establishing feeding at the beginning but persisted and carried on for at least a few months (not sure if quite as long as 10.5 - that is fab!)

jazz as misskat says, you can only try your best. Even if all you manage is to get a bit of colostrum down baby, that will really boost their immune/digestive systems. But most important thing is happy Mum/happy baby, so if bf doesn't work, there is no harm or shame at all in switching (I need to remind myself of this too :) )

Had 32 wk appointment today and for the first time didn't come away feeling reassured. Bump has been spot on til now but is measuring a week behind ( I know it's no cause for concern, but I am so terrified of IUGR as a major cause of stillbirth) Trace protein in urine and HR had dropped from 150 to 130 - again, MW not at all concerned about either of these, but it was just the combination of factors that left me feeling a bit worried.

Baby very much breech at the mo so have bought myself a gym ball and am going to get bouncing.

In other news - my cousin whose waters broke this morning had an unplanned home birth, the baby came so fast! MW and paramedic arrived as baby was crowning, so it was almost delivered by the Dad. More jealous than ever - though it is her third, and I think first two births were a lot more slow and painful!

I was another logger! I had an app on my phone and recorded every feed, sleep etc. it helped me to feel like I had some kind of control! I also did it because I felt bad when I was in hospital, the midwives asking 'when did he last feed?' And I was so exhausted (and low on blood!!) I couldn't say. The midwives seemed amazed and unsympathetic at my lack of info and that made me feel guilty

Don't think it was anything more than horrid midwives to be honest.

I don't think I will get the chance to be quite as meticulous in my logging of feeds and sleeps this time round

Same here lastnight! My first hurdle was the day after DS was born waiting in hospital for the paediatrician to do the newborn check. DH rocked up at 9am when he was allowed back in and we naively assumed we'd be home within the hour - he's even been to Tesco and bought croissants for when we got home. Instead, we sat around waiting all bloody day for the paediatrician to finally do the check around 4pm - then when she did the heel prick test for blood glucose it was low. She was pretty unpleasant and straight away instructed the midwives to 'get some formula into the baby'. I burst into noisy tears as I felt like I'd failed already, then whilst alone with a lovely midwife, we realised I hadn't fed him for hours - he's been sleeping happily and who knew you were supposed to wake them every few hours in the early stages - we'd been totally left to our own devices with no midwives coming to check how we were doing with feeding etc. Anyway, I didn't see the formula as necessary and instead got the midwives to help me with feeding positions (being taught how to feed lying down in bed was the best lesson I ever learnt on that front!) and as a result, several hours and several more perfectly normal bloody glucose tests later, I begged them to discharge me at 11pm which was apparently a bit naughty but another lovely midwife snuck us out of the back door basically! So I guess I'm just saying, stick to your guns and despite all the pro-bf messaging, you'll encounter a real mix of messages at the hospital. Another reason I'm planning a home birth this time around...

Anyway, looking at my notebook from that first week with DS, he was mostly doing fairly short 10-20 min feeds, about 12 feeds in 24hrs. But I guess the nights are the most interesting for first timers - he would 'cluster feed' during the evening and through to about 10pm when we'd all go upstairs to bed, then there were about 3 proper 'night' feeds so we would get 3 proper sleeps between these feeds.

At Sunday's nct breastfeeding class they showed us marbles that represented the size of a newborn's tummy. It's tiny! Apparently a lot of the early suckling is getting used to feeding, rather than it being really productive.

It was also stressed that newborns are generally 50/50. So asleep 50% and feeding the other 50%. That's a lot of feeding!

I had my 32 week mw appointment today too. Try not to worry too much marzi I know the past 2 appoinments I've had were a bit worrying, seemed like there was a combination of things to worry about, however today everything was fine. Although my blood pressure is still a bit high. Are you on 2 week appointments now?

Baby is transverse, so I'm another one who needs to get bouncing!

I was talking to a guy at work who recently had to deliver his baby at home with guidance over the phone. He looked very proud, and deservedly so! What an amazing thing to experience (but not something on my to-do list!)

32+0 and 8 working days to go!