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Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Flip

Original poster

I dont want to find out the gender-He does!

14 replies

mum2oliver · 08/07/2006 22:53

Haas anyone else been in this position?
If so how do you do it?
What was your dp's or dh's like?
How can I talk him round to not finding out?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

spidermama · 08/07/2006 22:56

It's your body and you two are attached so you have far more right at this stage in the proceedings.
Just say, 'No'.

snowleopard · 08/07/2006 22:58

It's amazing how often the woman doesn't want to know and the DP/DH does - I've heard dozens of people say that, and never the other way round!

We were the same but I just bludgeoned DP into accepting my argument that I wanted a surprise. We'd have had to go private anyway as they have a policy not to tell you where we live. Maybe you could tell him they have that policy - even if they don't?

Beauregard · 08/07/2006 22:58

As far as im concerned it's your call ,you are the one that is carrying the baby,but if he must then tell him to find out but not tell you iykwim!

snowleopard · 08/07/2006 22:59

Pelvicfloor, I knew my DP could never have kept the secret, if we'd done it that way!

biglips · 08/07/2006 23:00

just say "no no no no as its my body and my descision"

spidermama · 08/07/2006 23:00

I got round it by never having any scans. Though I realise this is probably too radical for most.

mazzystar · 08/07/2006 23:02

DH didn't want to know last time, but I can understand why he might want to know - its all so real for you - knowing the gender might be really special for him. My friends DP found out and managed not to tell her, so maybe that's a way to go!

biglips · 08/07/2006 23:03

mazzy - how are you? you all ok?

mazzystar · 08/07/2006 23:06

Sorry mum2oliver

Original poster

mum2oliver · 08/07/2006 23:06

Is it really ok to say that its my decision?
I feel mean.Maybe Im too soft.We found out with ds1 and it will be such a nice surprise!
He said he wants to know so he can be prepared snd my reply was-"in what way prepared?" he then said clothes and things! He didnt prepare with ds1,he didnt chose anything.Bloody cheek.f**k it Im going to tell him no.
Hang on though what if when the scan person asks us if we want to know,we both say the oppposite?
What will sp say?
Will sp go with my decision?

OP posts:

mazzystar · 08/07/2006 23:08

TBH I would have thought life would be much nicer if you can make a joint decision. Not sure I agree with the my body my decision argument in this instance.

emmawill · 08/07/2006 23:11

We both wanted to find out about our 1st seeing as it was a bigger enough surprise that I was pregnant! but with our 2nd I didn't want to know but dh did and I gave in and asked as is it the mothers decision and I really wished I hadn't as I think it would of been magician to find out at the birth. If we are ever mad enough to have 3rd (I had 2 hard births) then there is no ay I will find out no matter have hard my dh begs me to ask.

Best of luck with the pregnancy and birth

biglips · 08/07/2006 23:21

slight hjjack again - yes i am mazzy...

edam · 08/07/2006 23:26

Oh, definitely your body, your choice at this stage of proceedings. Agree a white lie might be in order just to keep the peace, but you'd have to grab a moment alone with the sonographer to warn them.

Flip